Ch. 25

--Zach POV--

Having Tsunade in my arms was something that I missed dearly. I caressed her belly and kept kissing her head. She finally got fed up with my touchy-feely actions and wormed her way out of my hold. I released my body enchants and suddenly felt very weak and tired. I had burned through 3/4s of my divine essence in that fight. Hephaestus wasn't kidding when he said I'll burn through my essence quickly.

Tsunade: "What the heck do you mean 3 years?!"

I just raised a hand to stop her and pointed to the wounded in her group. She turned and cursed and went over to help tend to them. I just sat down on the ground wishing I had a tasty adult beverage to help refill my essence. (A/N: Parents used to call alcohol "Tasty Adult Beverages" when I was young and it just stuck.)

It took Tsunade and Shizune another hour to get Karin's mother fully stabilized and out of danger. Halfway through that Karin had come to, she had looked around to see what had happened. Seeing when her eyes came to me, I saw her eyes go wide in fright. Yeah, I might be a fearsome sight sitting here covered in blood sitting on my ass. Oh, there goes her eyes in the back of her head andddd she's out again. The overdramatic antics gave me a good chuckle. I thought that I would be the same as her after I killed someone for the first time. It might hit me later, but as of right now I'm still pissed they attacked my family.

As I could see them finishing up I got up off the ground and walked over towards them. Arriving next to Tsunade I held my hand out to help her up. I did the same for Shizune and she looked at me like I had a second and third head before taking my hand. Tsunade must have told her what she knows so far. Looking over I saw the beauty that was the Humvee totaled, may you rest in peace. After my little prayer, I saw what looked like the soul of the Humvee departing its body and turned into the box truck of legends. It drove off into the sky to make some weeaboos happy.

Tsunade: "So you going to tell us now what happened to you?"

Zach: "How about we get everyone back to the inn. That way we can talk in peace, and no chance of anyone overhearing us."

Tsunade: "Don't think I can't see that you're just putting this off!"

She harrumphed and turned to the totaled vehicle and stored it in the storage scroll. Man, I love this smart woman, I will give you a warrior's burial Truck-kun! I walked over to Karin's mother and picked her up in a princess carry. Maybe that wasn't the best idea as I had Tsunade glaring at the sight of it.

Zach: "I'm not letting you carry anything other than my children. Shizune you pick up Karin, we'll take them to the inn."

Tsunade's face, neck, and ears went red and she just harrumphed. She's so cute when she is flustered. After Shizune picked up the fainted Karin we made our way back into Tanzaku, leaving the bodies for the wildlife. They do not deserve a proper burial for attacking 4 women, one of them being mine. As we walked through the town people were giving our group weird looks but we brushed them off. We'll be leaving this place soon so I could care less of what they think.

We got to the inn without any concern and rented an extra room for the two. After dropping them off in there and leaving a note saying we'll be down in the bar we left the room to go to our own. I held off Tsunade and Shizune's pestering at least until I could take a shower and get us a private room in the bar. Tsunade looked at me like I'm crazy, going to the bar and I just told her I'll explain it there. After a stressful grilling, received from the woman I love, I retreated to the bathroom, dissipated the armor, and cleaned up.

After I got cleaned up and dressed I gathered the two and headed down to the bar. Upon entering the bar we saw Karin and her Mother standing there looking lost.

Tsunade: "Kayla, Karin, it's great that you two are up and at them."

Kayla: "Thank you for everything Tsunade-Hime."

She gave Tsunade a deep bow, I was surprised by this. I walked up to the bar and left the girls to talk to themselves. As I reached the bar, I asked the bartender for a private room and they gave me the key to one. I also ordered a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label to replenish my essence and dinner to be delivered to the private room.

Waving towards the girls to get them to follow me I led the way to the private room. After everyone got in I closed the door. I let Shizune into the booth first, followed by Tsunade and me at the end, Karin and Kayla sat across from us.

Tsunade: "I liked you better without the beard."

Zach: "Yeah well I like myself with the beard. Makes me more manly."

Tsunade: "Well I don't like it, so shave it."

Zach: "We'll see about that tonight."

Tsunade went red after the banter and shot daggers at me with her eyes. Before we could start bickering even more there was laughter across the table. We both shot glares at the disturbance before we remembered we were not alone.

Kayla: "You two remind me of myself and my late husband."

Tsunade: "Oh, uhhh. I'm sorry I didn't make any introduction. Zach, this is Kayla and Karin, they are both Uzumaki's. Karin, Kayla, this is Zachary Briggs, my boyfriend."

Zach: "Nice to meet ya'll."

Karin/Kayla: "Greetings!"

By this time the food had arrived and I opened the bottle of scotch and poured 3 fingers in a scotch glass. We all dug into the grub and drank; it became a joyous occasion. I was starting to get tipsy halfway through. Unfortunately, I'm a truthful and happy drunk, this can be dangerous sometimes.

Tsunade: "So, we were only gone for 4 days. How the hell did your beard and hair grow out to this length, and what the hell do you mean it's been 3 years. Also, why the hell are you drinking? You haven't had a drink since we started dating. I figured you were embracing sobriety to support me!"

Well damn, straight into the deep end. I need more alcohol for this! At least say you missed me and be a lovely dovey and coax it out of me! I'm already starting to sweat bullets, gotta tip-toe around it.

Zach: "Well uh, maybe I should start at the beginning."

Tsunade: "Ya think?! BAKA!"

So I enthralled them with the tale of my training. Kayla and Karin looked at me like I was crazy, talking about these so-called Gods that they've never even heard of. Tsunade and Shizune's eyes were wide as saucers throughout the story. As I finished telling them about training with Ares for two years straight their jaws were on the floor.

Tsunade: "So let me get this straight. Sex, booze, and making stuff replenishes your essence hence why you got the bottle of scotch."

Zach: "Correct, I'm sure you wouldn't want me to do the other two right now."

Tsunade just raised her hand for me to stop. Score one for me, Zach 1 Tsunade 10.

Tsunade: "Back on task. You can now make items by just willing your essence around and they are permanent. But you choose to disintegrate them because who wants to carry all that stuff around and changing the weapon is cheaper than making one out of thin air."

I just nodded to that.

Tsunade: "And the black tattoos of vines and fire that run along your body are actually enchantments that Hecate a 'Big tittied goth' put on you. The vines represent Dionysus' blessing and the fire encircling the vines and on the top of your head represents Hephaestus."

Man, she gets things quick and breaks it down like it's a Dummy's book. I think I'll call it Zach's Powers For Dummies, might be a bestseller for my enemies! I just nodded again.

Tsunade: "As Hecate was doing the enchantments that made your body even stronger than mine. She appeared in your mindscape and taught you how to build it where your mind becomes strong enough to protect you from practically all the genjutsu except the stronger users."

Zach: "Yeah, I think it would be 60-40 in my favor against Itachi."

Tsunade: "Not only after she gave you the enchantments and the mindscape ability. She also left a practical library of the enchanting method that you created in your mindscape. Do I need to worry that she is courting you?"

I just rubbed my head thinking about that. I mean she is a big tittied goth, but being a Potter Head is kind of weird. It's gotten even weirder, I mean hell J.K. Rowling is still throwing out weird tib-bits about the book that no one cares about. If she has all the free-time to debate and come out and say Dumbledore is gay, why not just make a book and flesh it out? But no, she just tweets it out and let a shit-storm ensue.

I heard some strong snapping and was broken out of my drifting thoughts. I looked over to see Tsunade fuming!

Zach: "No, no dear. She might be a big tittied goth, but she is into some weird shit."

She just harrumphed at that, thankfully she believed me. I don't know why she wouldn't, it is the truth. But women are hard to figure out.

Tsunade: "Continuing, it turns out that Hephaestus and Aphrodite managed to get Ares the God of WAR to train you. Whom you fought with every day for two years?"

Zach:" Uh, well…"

Tsunade: "Spit it out!"

Zach: "We didn't just train every day. We trained for 2 years straight, no breaks. I've been in a constant fight for two years."

That just made everyone go even more slack-jawed. Man, it feels good to drop bombshells like this. I can't wait till we get to the village and drop knowledge bombs on some of the key characters.