Chapter IV: Part One

Chūshi conveniently remembered that he and Aoto shared an advanced course seminar fifteen minutes before the seminar started. He'd been in autopilot the rest of the week and over the weekend. Even visiting his grandmother with his mother didn't shake him out of the mental fog that hadn't dissipated since Aoto left him alone in the bathroom stall. The student librarian had caught Chūshi blankly washing his hands after the library closed.

With a tsk, the slightly older woman wrote his name down on a small notepad but Chūshi couldn't be bothered, even though his father would react poorly to the news. All he could think about was the ease in which Aoto put his dick in his mouth. He regretted not listening more closely whenever their classmates whispered about Aoto. I could always ask someone for more information…

The problem of course being that he had no friends. Chūshi didn't see the point when his father planned on sending him back as soon as he graduated. Or if grandmother died.

What if I asked Aoto…

Chūshi shook his head so vigorously his brain seemed to ping pong off his skull before settling as he entered the lecture hall.

Stop being a little bitch, he thought to himself, assaying the room for the person in question. His shoulders relaxed when he saw that Aoto wasn't in class yet. He hurried to his usual seat in the back corner, next to one of the only windows in the room. Putting his bag to the right of him, he leaned his head on the table hoping his bag would serve as a shield from any prying eyes.

Think of it like a kind of one-night stand. No big deal!

But he'd never gotten complaints about the taste of his cum before. In fact, he often got the opposite. Chūshi wasn't arrogant by any means, but he couldn't help but feel Aoto was lying. Such an interesting guy.

Not only that, but it was clear Aoto was gay. Despite himself, Chūshi felt his heart falter with hope. The background chatter ceased suddenly, signaling the guest lecturer was ready to start, and Chūshi halfway tuned in.

Students with good grades, regardless of their area of study were invited to a seminar series each semester. The speakers varied from all professions and it was one of the university's selling points. Usually Chūshi paid close attention to the schedule because every now and then he'd skip if he had a tough weekend studying.

I should have skipped today too.

But then he wouldn't have a chance to see Aoto. His heart stuttered as he lifted his head from the table as a small woman began introducing herself.

He spotted Aoto quickly noting that he sat near the front of the room. By his posture, Chūshi could tell he was giving the woman his utmost attention. It made him sit completely upright and finally look at the board to see who the speaker was. He didn't recognize the name, but by the title of the talk he knew she specialized in architecture.

Is that an interest of his? Is it why he's taking English? He tried to pay attention if only for the sake of finding a way to strike up a conversation with Aoto after class.

But try as he might he couldn't focus on a word the woman said. Instead, he focused on the back of Aoto's head. How could he go about talking to someone who seemed to be set on disliking him? When Chūshi really put his mind to it, he could charm even the most frigid of people. While he found Aoto's standoffish nature annoying, it's also what intrigued him. Amongst a growing list of things.

"Why come to these things if you're just going to leave your mouth open wide enough for flies?" The object of his desire appeared suddenly and leaned onto the table next to him.

Abandoning the weak strategy that he'd started to formulate, he bluntly replied "When I remembered you were in this seminar, I decided to come."

They stared at each other and like before Chūshi began to fall into those dark eyes that were even more bottomless against the stark whites of his eyes. "I said your cu-"

"And I know you were lying." Chūshi stood up and packed his things away, noticing just how short Aoto was compared to him. Once those eyes sucked you in, the rest of Aoto seemed to disappear. "I've never had complaints from men nor women."

He watched Aoto's face closely to see if there was any indication that his words affected him. The only reaction he got was a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth. "And if I recall, you swallowed."

That time he was awarded with a slight widening of almond shaped eyes and a deliberate blink. That's enough for now.

"Why are you talking to me anyway? You clearly don't seem to like me. And I'm not into forcing myself onto others." Chūshi leaned against the table next to Aoto, crossing his arms as he stared at the other young man unflinchingly.

His words were a gamble but he had a feeling he would be entertained by however Aoto responded. Aoto did seem different though, wearing a V-neck t-shirt, cardigan, and jeans compared to his normal business casual attire, of fitted pants usually accompanied with a button-down shirt and cardigan.

So adorable, Chūshi thought to himself as his eyes traced over Aoto. And then he finally noticed it. He felt the smirk all his exes complained about creep onto his face.

"Is it because this person," he reached for the hickey barely hidden by Aoto's shirt, "didn't quite do it for you? Maybe you liked it more than you thought?"

He pushed off the table, deliberately walking past Aoto to exit the seminar room. He would either drive him away or—

"Hey jackass, you left your cell phone!" Aoto shoved the device into his back firmly.. "And it's none of your business."

"Agree to disagree for now." Chūshi turned to face the other young man again and reached for his phone. "I hope that you've put your contact info in here seeing as I'm tutoring you." He smiled to himself when he saw that Aoto had indeed input his contact information. "Did you need help finishing your assignment due tomorrow?"

Any haughtiness Aoto had rushed out of him leaving him deflated. A very light blush, almost unnoticeable, lighted his cheeks as he responded, "I think I can manage."

"But you are terrible at English. Remember, I know your scores?" As much as he liked teasing Aoto, Chūshi didn't want to alienate him completely so he forced the smirk on his face to a neutral smile. "I'm serious, I'm able to help. Ff you need it."

Aoto looked up at him again, and Chūshi let himself fall into his gaze. Though he knew they would give no indication of what Aoto thought of his offer. The other young man blinking cut their connection off, and Chūshi felt like he was finally landing on firm ground from a thousand year fall.

"Fine. I'll text you when I'm free later."

Aoto didn't quite scurry off, but he definitely walked fast enough that a light breeze hit Chūshi. It smelled of something sweet yet bitter, a scent he'd smelled before but couldn't place. The more he tried to remember the more his head hurt. Oh, well.

He'd taken a gamble and he knew it'd pay off. Until Aoto messaged him, Chūshi decided he wouldn't skip like he initially planned. He wanted to be available the minute he got a message.

His cellphone felt heavier than a bowling ball resting in his front pocket. He knew that spacing out in classes waiting for a text that could at the earliest come by 4 PM was stupid. But that didn't stop his imagination concocting scenario after scenario of them not only fucking all night long, but them growing closer over coffee and dinner dates.

Chūshi was embarrassed to admit even to himself how ridiculous he was being. He'd done more with other men and women and couldn't be bothered to remember their names.

Maybe I'm losing my mind? What kind of man fell head over heels for someone like this?

Remembering Aoto's passing words from that day filled him with an emotion he couldn't name, but it demanded to be resolved by seeing Aoto a crying, quivering mess underneath him. What made the prospect even more exciting to Chūshi was that it was clear that Aoto had been around the block as they liked to say abroad. A lesser man might be embarrassed, but Chūshi didn't let much phase him. Couldn't let much phase him.

Rather than dwell on the turmoil of feelings spilling inside him due to the other young man, Chūshi let his mind wander to his father's radio silence since the initial issuing of the tutoring job. Not even a text.

Inside him, two voices warred constantly over his father's negligence. It was never good whenever his father actually paid attention to him in any capacity on one hand; it always led to being yelled at, threats of violence, and a slew of words and phrases that would make anyone run away and never look back.

So being completely ignored often felt like a blessing on the other hand (as long as he was doing what was expected of him), but it was also lonely. Knowing that he was more of an asset than a son made his chest throb. Even so, he still managed to fool himself into thinking that his father would "check-in" on him. And he somehow allowed himself to be affected by the silence.