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The Average Crossover Experience

Imagine dying and then waking up in the body of a thug in the Marvel universe. Sounds wild, right? Well, that's just the beginning of my story. One moment I was dying on the sidewalk, and the next, I'm in some rundown apartment, looking at two duffle bags, one filled money, the other with drugs. It's not long before I realize I'm smack in the middle of a city where almost everyone wants me dead. Every corner I turn, there's someone with a grudge, a gun, or both trying to take me out. Just when I'm starting to get the hang of dodging danger and figuring out how to survive in this new world, things get even crazier. I discover I can travel into yet another world—a game-like realm that's somehow connected to my new reality. It's like stepping into a video game where the rules are different, and the stakes are just as high.

Wickedward · Tranh châm biếm
Không đủ số lượng người đọc
45 Chs

Not So Clean an Exit #40

Stepping toward Big C, I watched his eyes widen in a mix of fear and confusion. He started to stammer, "I don't want any trouble, Vito, I swear, I—" but I cut him off with a swift blow from the butt of my pistol.

He crumpled to the floor, unconscious. I knelt beside him, quickly taking away his gun and patting him down for any other weapons. I found a knife strapped to his ankle and a small, sleek pistol tucked into his waistband. Typical lawyer, always hiding something.

As I finished disarming Big C, Carlo walked up to me, his face a mixture of relief and gratitude. "Thank you," he said, his voice trembling. "You saved us."

I wanted to tell him not to mention it, to brush off his gratitude, but before I could speak, a loud cry echoed from outside. My expression shifted instantly to a grim look, and Carlo noticed.

"What was that sound?" he asked, his eyes wide with worry.

"It's your old pal, Nitewing," I replied, my tone serious. "He's on lookout duty. That call means people are closing in on the bar."

Carlo's eyes widened further. "More of Manfredi's men?" He looked around, panic creeping into his voice. "What do we do?"

"Relax," I said, trying to calm him. "I'll get you and the Mrs out of here." I slung Big C's unconscious body over my shoulder and motioned for Carlo and his wife to follow me.

"God damn... the bastard's been eating well..." I grumbled as I made my way to the roof, moving as quickly and quietly as possible with Carlo and his wife trailing behind me.

Once on the roof, I looked over the railing and saw men rushing into the bar below. We didn't have much time. Putting my fingers to my mouth, I whistled sharply. Nitewing swooped down from the sky and landed gracefully in the middle of the roof.

"Good boy, Nitewing," I muttered, reaching into my pocket and retrieving a Pal Sphere. With a quick flick of my wrist, I hurled it to the ground, and a Vanwyrm emerged from within it, looking around and unfurling its wings as it adjusted to its surroundings.

Carlo's expression shifted from confusion to realization, his throat bobbing nervously as he processed the situation. His wife, however, stood frozen, her gaze flickering between the two majestic creatures with a mixture of dread and awe.

There was no time for explanations, though. I pointed to the Vanwyrm. "You take this one. It has a saddle. Carlo can take the Nitewing... they go way back..." I said with a smile.

She nodded hesitantly, but Carlo was less convinced. He stared at the Nitewing, then back at me, skepticism etched on his face. "How am I supposed to ride that? Wouldn't I just fall out of the sky if I don't have anything to hold on to?"

I smiled, trying to ease his concerns. "You won't be riding its back. It'll carry you by its talons. Trust me; you'll be okay."

Carlo let out a resigned sigh, the panic in his eyes fading slightly as he accepted the reality of our situation. His wife, still hesitant, bit her lip. "Is this safe?" she asked, worry threading through her voice.

I shrugged, trying to keep my tone light despite the gravity of our situation. "It's not completely safe, but it's either that or you can wait here until Manfredi's goons put us in a corner..."

She glanced at Carlo, who nodded in encouragement. I could see her resolve strengthening. "Okay," she finally said, taking a deep breath.

I moved to help her mount the Vanwyrm, adjusting the saddle and ensuring she was secure. 

She leaned down, gripping the reins tightly. Just as she seemed to settle in, her expression shifted, as if struck by a sudden realization. "What about you?" she asked, her eyes wide with concern.

I waved her question away. "I only have two flyers, and each can carry just one person. Don't worry; I'll stall the thugs for a bit before making myself scarce."

Carlo chimed in, trying to bolster her confidence. "He'll be fine. Remember, he took down over a dozen gunmen to get to us."

His wife's fear eased a little, and she nodded, turning to me with a look of determination. "Take care, dear," she said.

I smiled at her. "I'll be fine," I assured her, giving the Vanwyrm a pat on its side. The creature let out a loud screech, its wings unfurling majestically as it prepared for takeoff. Carlo's wife let out a surprised exclamation as the Vanwyrm took to the air, carrying her away into the night.

Seeing this, Nitewing followed suit, swooping down and grasping Carlo by the shoulders with its powerful talons. Carlo let out a string of curses as he was lifted off the ground, his voice trailing off as the two of them disappeared into the darkness behind the Vanwyrm.

I couldn't help but smile at the sound of Carlo's indignant cursing, but the moment of levity was short-lived. The sound of footsteps echoing up the stairwell snapped me back to the present. My smile vanished, replaced by a grim expression.

Hurling a Pal Sphere to the ground, I watched as Tombat emerged, its eyes glinting with a mischievous light. "Buy me some time," I instructed, pointing at the stairs.

Tombat let out a meow that sounded like a mischievous laugh and floated towards the stairway. With a wave of its small paws, it encased the stairs in a thick layer of ice. Almost immediately, the sound of curses and shouts echoed up the stairwell as Manfredi's thugs slipped and struggled on the treacherous ice.

Turning away from the chaos, I approached the unconscious form of Big C, lifting him with a grunt of effort. He was heavier than he looked. I dragged him to the side of the roof, towards a ledge that overlooked the alleyway next to the bar.

Summoning a Lamball from its sphere, I picked up the fluffy creature by the nape. "Do the thing," I instructed.

The Lamball's usual expression of innocent curiosity turned resigned as its wool puffed up, its size growing several times larger. I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt as I prepared to use it as a makeshift cushion for our descent. "Sorry about this, little guy," I murmured to the Lamball before throwing it over the ledge into the alleyway below.

It landed with a soft thump, its wool cushioning the impact. That didn't stop it from letting out a bleat of surprise though, the overdramatic little thing. I couldn't help but smirk at the Lamball's theatrics before turning my attention back to Big C.

Hoisting Big C over the railing, I felt a slight twinge of guilt, but it quickly faded as he began to regain consciousness. After a few slow blinks, he seemed to understand where he was and what was about to happen. Panic set in, and he started struggling, pleading with me not to do this.

"Not so sorry about this one..." I muttered half-heartedly. With a heave, I threw him over the railing. He fell, kicking and screaming, until he hit the Lamball and bounced off, landing on his back with a loud thud. The impact knocked him right back into unconsciousness.

The sight of Big C hitting the ground and the resulting wet thud as his body hit the wet ground made me wince. "Okay, maybe I do feel a little sorry now," I admitted to myself.

Vito materialized beside me, his expression one of amused indifference. "Don't be," he said, looking down at Big C's crumpled form. "The guy's an even bigger asshole than I am." He turned to me, his grin widening mischievously. "So, are you going to make the jump next?"

I sheepishly scratched the back of my head. "On second thought, I'll just use the glider."

Vito rolled his eyes but said nothing, his form dissolving back into the shadows.

I retrieved the glider from my inventory and gripped its handles tightly. Taking a deep breath, I stepped to the edge of the roof and launched myself into the air. The glider caught the wind, and I sailed smoothly down into the alley below.

The landing was seamless, and I quickly moved to recall the Tombat and Lamball back into their spheres. The Tombat's mischievous meow echoed as it vanished, and the Lamball's overdramatic bleat was the last sound before it, too, disappeared.

"Now, for you you fat fuck," I muttered, hoisting Big C onto my shoulder. Again, he was heavier than he looked, and I could hear the thugs on the roof finally reaching the top, their voices a mix of curses and confusion as they found it empty.

Grinning to myself, I began walking toward the alley's exit. However, I only took one step before freezing in place at the sight before me. Standing at the alley's entrance was a figure draped in a red and blue costume, his arms crossed, and his white eyes narrowed at me.

'Oh, shit...'

...

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