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The cars honk restlessly and people are constantly groaning, the city throbs with chaos. I look around and my insides curl in. My head swirls like the clouds from Van Gogh's canvases. Inside there is whistle of breeze and a sway of flowers. Outside the traffic thickens. I was sitting alone in my car whose AC had failed at its job, it was hot outside, I was sweating profusely and growing impatient by the minute. It was 11Am and the city traffic was unbelievably slow moving.

A car beside me had this loud music booming, everyone in it was either holding a tumbler or blowing smoke in the air, threatening to poison the little bit of fresh of air left. The driver had this ugly looking beard, it hadn't grown in all the desired places, looked like mutton chops, funny if you ask me, the lady beside him on the front passenger seat was thin, blonde and loud because of the way she laughed. I was irritated by everything about them, why did I feel so much hate towards these strangers. Let's not think about who the remaining passengers were, but they had black scarfs draped over their heads like a cult. I wasn't sure. Their loss anyway.

I took out my phone whose screen had cracked but I have no idea how. Maybe the night I stayed up late talking trash on the phone with Charlotte. My thumb was caressing her face saved on my wallpaper, I felt a relief wash over me when the green light flashed. I meandered my way out of the jam and diverted into the highway leading to my house. I had cut my vacay short and all I wanted to see is her. My lifeline.

Talking to me didn't mean we were square about everything that happened. I knew I was a long way from kissing and making up with her but talking to me was the first step. Right now in this dead beat car with no AC on, I was thinking of my future with her, maybe one day she will realize that I was made for loving her, I haven't lied to her about anything at least, it was unexpected for us to find Val in my abandoned house.

**

FLASHBACK

"Do you read?" Val had once asked.

Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and

you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book. That was the situation with me, I was fantasising about how my love story would unfold and burst into heavenly bubbles and live forever with her.

"Everything. From, like, hideous romance to pretentious

fiction to poetry. Whatever."

That was tricky to betray my favorite book, this was a book I loved but didn't say it. She played me a couple songs she liked by a band called The Fray, and they were good songs. The day melted away.

I was still in my car outside my house, in the driveway as I recalled Val. Damn. Music playing in the background was Zayn Malik's Forever.

I relived the memories and smiled, I wasn't prohibited from thinking about her, is not a sin. I went inside, the door opened easily when I turned the key. It was dark, lonely and abandoned, I blew out a breath and shoved my bag to the floor, switched on the lights and drank juice straight from the bottle. It was nearly 6pm and the evening glow painted the trees. An exquisite site. I loved sunsets although now I didn't have the zeal to watch, wish muffin was here, I feel so lonely.

I shook my head to clear it from the dark places it was going. She will be here if I tell her I'm back, I took out my phone and glanced at it, 1 missed call from Charlotte. I redialed her number but went straight to voice mail. Damn.

I need a shower.

**

As I pulled up outside of my house, I realized that it was a few days till he came back, I checked my phone, damn I had switched it off, I debated whether or not to put it back on, I was just nervous maybe he had called me. I got out of the car with my shopping bags.

Inside the house I was rummaging through the bags, I was looking for something, today I had found this wonderful nook to read books on, I know he will love it. A gift card in tow with a few lovely words I had copy pasted. I thought about him, I looked over at him in my head. He really was beautiful. I know boys aren't supposed to be, but he was. He was mine and I would do anything to protect him and us, I really believe that one day he will look into my eyes and see he's everything I need.

This time is different, I hadn't known him a long time but I had know him enough to know he loved me, the way he looks at me says it all, how he holds me so tight and feel his heart beat close to mine, when I lie on his broad chest, feeling his muscles ripple. Damn I love this boy.

I lay in bed playing an episode of the first times we spoke.

I could not match the intensity of his waterblue eyes.

"May I see you again?" he asked. There was an endearing

nervousness in his voice. I loved the way he sounded. I sighed and curled myself up smiling like a fool, yeah I was his fool.

I smiled. "Sure."

"Tomorrow?" he asked.

"Patience, grasshopper," I counseled. "You don't want to

seem overeager."

"Right, that's why I said tomorrow," he said. "I want to see

you again tonight. But I'm willing to wait all night and much of

tomorrow." I rolled my eyes. "I'm serious," he said.

Shit!

My phone was still off, I switched on the phone nervously. A text chimed in. He had tried calling.

This guy always got me with his poems, he knew how to write good stuff. I opened a text, long as usual. But it carried so much tenderness, taking me back to when we met at first. I reread the WhatsApp message alongside this new text, smiling to myself then somehow I got this idea he might be close, I could feel his presence and suddenly it all made sense.

He's back! I felt ripples of satisfying joy coursing through my veins, and some relief washed over me. I took my boots, jacket and keys, summed the door shut and I was on my way over to his house. I felt so guilty being off when he had tried to call, I dialed in his number, he answered on the second ring.