Chapter 2

[Nayla]

I pulled myself out of the garden pool, every inch of me shivering, not of the cold but of the sheer amount of strength it took to control my wolf. How I have to keep her from springing forward and hurting my attacker in defense!

I was the one pushed; yet everyone rushed to her rescue. I tried to shake the memory off, but could hardly contain the anger. I had always sensed Melanie's bad intentions, but I barely saw it coming this morning. I didn't think she'd go this far, this fast. I made my way to the mansion.

The halls were empty. The guests have left. Bright midday sun poured through the ceiling-high windows into the massive hall, a mocking contrast of the day's events.

I walked to the half-open door of Melanie's bedroom where I sense my husband's high ranking pack members. I could not make out Gareth's shape from the small group around my sister-in-law, yet his smell, so faint, greeted my wolf like summer breaking hailstorm open. I ignored it.

I ran a hand over the pale lavender gown the pack maids had carefully chosen for me earlier, now soaked and ruined into a deeper lilac hue, translucent and ripped by the shoulder against my pale skin. I took another deep breath to connect to my wolf.

"Trust me. "I walked in.

"How dare you come!" It was Marla, Gareth's sister; the concerned look in her face betrayed by the mocking in her eyes. I glared at her. I was to open my mouth in disagreement but stopped short of Melanie's hysterical cry.

"No!!!! Take that back,Dr. Glen!!" She said in between sobs. I found her sitting in her bed, back supported with pillows. "Dear Remu. Dear Remu... Our baby." She started saying over and over. "I 'm sorry I couldn't protect you… I'm sorry..." she hides her face in her hands and continued to sob loudly.

Glen, the pack doctor, shook his head solemnly, gathering his things. "We did our best. I couldn't save the child." the doctor said gently, "You should get some rest. This shot will help. I'm sorry."

He beckoned his assistant who handed him a small syringe with a clear liquid in it. Quickly and effortlessly, he inserted it into Melanie's skin. She was looking at him wide eyed, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I called for the ambulance. She need to be brought to the hospital for further treatment." The doctor told the group. He stood up. "Keep her company. She'll be fine." He briefly laid a hand on Gareth's shoulder and left.

My husband, Gareth, sat beside her, an aura of protectiveness all over him. He gently brushed the hair out of her flushed face and helped her to lie down, still sobbing, but calmer. The look on his face shifted from worried to dead cold as he fixed his eyes on me.

"Gareth, it wasn't my fault! She pushed me! Please, you have to believe me!" I hear myself say. Tears are replacing the anger in my eyes. I know how much Melanie's unborn child meant for my husband. He doesn't show it, but I know he loved the child even before it was born; for he valued his brother dearly.

"Everybody knows what you did Gwyneth." He growled. My wolf recoils at the pain of his blunt indifference towards us. My heart sank. We could tell he doesn't believe me.

I could sense Marla smirking. "Apologize." Gareth breathed.

"But I didn't push her! She pushed me! Believe me, Gareth!" I tried again.

"I know how much you cared for this child. Remu wouldn't -- "

"How dare you mention my brother's name!!!" Gareth stormed. He leaped from Melanie's bedside and in a second and was suddenly in front of me, glaring. His breath warm in my face. I could see every vein on his neck.

I was taken aback. It was so unlike him to raise his voice. He stared in anger. His eyes were stone. His hands grasped my arms so tightly I was afraid he'd hurl me towards the wall any minute. It felt like being caught at a dead-end by a mad-wolf, ready to devour. What came next is even more painful. "Kneel." He whispered. "Kneel!!!" louder.

"Kneel down and apologize." Marla echoed; her high-pitched tone full of glee. She doesn't even try to hide it this time. "You don't deserve our Alpha! He doesn't deserve a vicious commoner for a wife!" She chirped.

She was chattering on and on but I didn't hear her. I was clenching my fists so hard I drew blood. I looked straight into my mate. I opened my mind link – searching, inquiring, for whatever left of our bond to thug.

"Gareth." I breathed. I thought he softened, but then I felt him push me forcefully away and I staggered and lost my balance on the floor. I sat sprawled on the floor in the pool of my wet dress, ashamed.

How could I believe I could connect to my husband like this, when, all he ever was from the day we sealed as bond, was cold and indifferent?

I tried to get up, but I felt the royal guard's hand firmly on my shoulder. I resisted the weight on my shoulder in an attempt to keep my balance, struggling to steady my wolf at the same time. She was ready to lurch forward and defend me any minute.

"I am sorry, Luna Gwyneth," the faintest whisper from the royal guard as I fell to the ground again and was forced to sit back up on my knees. I looked down on the floor. I could feel Gareth's eyes boring into me. I did not look at him. "Apologize." I kept my mouth shut. I can hear his footsteps going back to Melanie's bedside.

"To the sunroom." Gareth ordered. Two more guards appeared. I felt the grip on my shoulder tighten. Everybody was silent. "Keep her kneeling there." He walked towards me again. I can feel his warmth in my ears. "You are stubborn, commoner. Keep that up and I will dissolve our bond and banish you." He whispered. His voice was deep and flat.

Gareth's pack members pretty much keep away from sunroom, but I was secretly relieved to have been sent there. The tall glass walls and bright, empty interior brought me strange comfort. I let the guards shove me into kneeling but refused to give the apology demanded of me.

Gareth would send me to this room when he wants to get me off his hair or punish me for anything random, but I was never subjected to violence in the past. It doesn't matter anyhow. I gritted my teeth as I took a couple of blows from the reluctant palace guard, and focused on keeping myself from shifting into my wolf.

My knees were sore from all the kneeling and every muscle in my body ached. For a while I was hoping my husband would walk through the door and apologize; tell me it was all a misunderstanding… tell me he knows what Melanie is up to… tell me there has been a mistake. But as I watched the midday sky slowly burst into sunset and then fade into a deep, pitch-black night, the truth cut deep. I was not loved. I never was.

The mate bond is not love. He couldn't even lust after me after that first night. I do not know why Gareth accepted me in the first place; surely it was not love. We went through the rituals and a wedding, yet he showed no desire to truly accept me as his own. He couldn't even respect me as a pack member, much less his Luna. I felt my grief dissolve into anger -- at Melanie, at Gareth, at the guests, and myself, for being so stupid for hoping the leader of the most ambitious and power-hungry pack would for one second learn to love me.

My wolf knew my heart, and her presence comforted me as I did my best to do the same for her. I knew what hurts her besides our mate's rejection – injustice. She knew how easily we could strike back. We didn't have to endure them the way we do. We both know who we are, what we could do. But not yet. My muscles were beginning to ache from exhaustion as the clock ticked. I began to feel the dampness of my dress against my skin. I stayed still.

The guards were gone. But I was too proud to lie down. It was past midnight when my mate came. I felt a prick of hope surge as I sensed him getting closer. Even my wolf, proud and suspicious as she is, perked up. Just as quickly, our hope died. Gareth growled in the darkness. He wore nothing except the same pants he had earlier.

"What have you done?" His voice was low. "I underestimated your lack of noble blood. I tolerated your presence. I allowed you to live with our pack. And now your recklessness and jealousy cost us the life of a noble wolf, heir of the pack, child of my kin!"

I felt tears running down my face again. How could his every word still hit like a sword? How could my heart still grieve for the loss of a man like this? I looked at his shape in the darkness. His lean yet finely muscled build, the contours of his face, his clenched fist, his ruthlessness. Where was that fuzzy tenderness I caught a glimpse of that first night?

I clenched my fists. I can hear his breathing becoming hoarser, angrier. I was about to open my mouth to speak, but the door flung open, the hallway light throwing a sharp slit of contrast through the darkness of the sunroom. "I'm sorry to disturb you, Gareth, but Melanie is awake." It was his Beta, Chamo. Gareth turned to me. "I shall terminate our mateship." He said slowly, coldly, a blunt finality in his tone. "I have no business getting hooked up with the likes of you." He left.

I sobbed and let myself fall to the floor, my forehead touching the cold marble. I cried for a few more hours, where I longed for the warmth of my father's lair, and days where I'd have no need to hide my true self. I cried until I had enough.

I stayed that way until I felt the familiar thug of my wolf stirring stronger inside me.

"Nayla, my Nayla, let this Gwyneth go. May I come out now? "

I nodded. My wolf is right. I don't belong here anymore. I never belonged here. I let myself succumb to the power within me. I feel my bones and muscles shift, my vision becoming clearer, the wet dress ripping and falling away from my skin. A surge of warmth enveloped me. I shook myself, as if to leave every trace of Gwyneth on the floor. Forever.

I leaped out of the sunroom. I left the dress. I have no business collecting it.

I marched to the hallway leading to the room assigned to me. There was a time when I thought of it as home. Not anymore.

I let myself shift back to my human form, closed the door behind me, and started to work. I grabbed my cotton nightgown and wrapped it around me, then briskly pulled my oversized suitcase and shoved a couple of clothes and other things in. I won't be needing much. Just enough to last a few days.

I was feeling a burning sensation in my eyes and every inch of me seemed to ache, but I ignored it. I opened the vanity drawer and retrieved a small pack of cigarettes I hid beneath the jewelry box and lit one. I opened my phone, and dialed. "Khayim," I hear myself say. "Where to?" Says the merry voice from the other line. "Home," I said.