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That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Prisoner... Wait, What?

Waking up as a prisoner is not something many would enjoy but hey all's well if you get out of monotony and absurd powers for the inconvenience. At least that's how James perceives it. = A/N: The whole 'I' part in the title is not suggestive of an SI, it's just a play on the title of That Time I Got Reincarnted As A Slime. Any pointers would be appreciated.

Lemomon · Tranh châm biếm
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Again? WHY?

(A/N: All creatures mentioned in this are tensura canon creatures. Go into this while keeping in mind that Rimuru got Great Sage AND Predator by complaining about being a virgin.)

Some time before James regaining sense,

"...I think it'll be funnier if I force you to stay drunk through this."

"Where am I? Why can't I see nothing? MAX! The fuck did you do?!" An intoxicated James shouted out into the darkness. He could see nothing, hear nothing, and felt like his body was being forced through a suction tube... Not that he'd know what that would feel like mind you.

He tried to look around, and became more annoyed when he was met with failure again, "MAN! Humans are inconvenient~. Cover our ears and eyesh and like thash, we can't know jackshish! Wish I was somethin else! Wait... Lemme tink." He crossed his arms, or at least, that was what he thought he was doing, "An alien! SHUTEN DOUJI!!.... Whash that again?"

[Confirmed, creating a body in likeness of one Shuten Douji... Successful.]

"Oooh... I lish your voice lady... Ish got dat cold vibe! Wanna head bash to mah place?" He muttered gibberish, addressing the voice that had suddenly appeared in his head... No wait, that wasn't possible, near him. Yes, it was a cool sexy lady that was taking caring of him cause he was cute as fuck and definitely not his mind playing tricks!

Suddenly, his expression shifted and he tried to bow his head, "I'm shorry..." The intoxicated college student muttered out an apology, "Dis alwaysh happens! I wis I cush control my emotions like Da... Damien... I fucking hate that guy! Besh he's one of those tifes that get like super rish and drive supercarsh and shit cause they can thinsh loshially..."

[Unique Skill: Realist, acquisition successful]

"Hey sexshy lady, is ish true that chicks only like guys that can brek their shit in half? I wish I coulsh wreck everthin!"

[Unique Skill: Destroyer, acquisition successful]

Even drunk, James' face reeled in disgust and his brows furrowed. Disappointment flashed in his eyes as he said, "Are shou on of thos that think they're Japanese cuz of anime? A weeb? Keh... I thoush it was my lucy day."

The lady didn't give him an answer leaving James to think she had left him alone. Though, he did hear a faint whistle, the sort one would make when in awe.

"Thank fuck..." Dating a weeb was just useless, what with all the strange obsession culture going around about some of them having very real feelings for products of fiction, "Where am I tho?"

When his vision returned, James found himself sitting in the middle of an empty field, surrounded by tall grass on all sides, a star-filled night sky and a moon that was glowing far brighter than he remembered, "Kewl..." He mumbled and tried to stand up. Unfortunately, his motor skills were severely affected and he tripped over his own foot.

The ground rushed up to meet his face and a disgusting squelch broke the dead of the night, marring the former human's face with dirt. The drunk James completely disregarded what had happened and pushed himself up again.

It was counterproductive.

His arms glowed and dug into the ground, obliterating all in their path, setting up the second meeting between the muddy soil... and his face.

"FUCK!"

He proceeded to do the same thing over and over again, reducing his simple t-shirt and jeans into nothing but torn rags when his energy coated hands brushed against them. In his drunken stupor, James gave up and just laid down in the dirt, uncaring as the seconds changed into minutes and then into hours.

'Realist has fully awakened, masking aura and presence to hide from harmful variables.'

"A... A Kijin?!"

"Oooh... a pillow."

The barely sentient rabbit that had come across the strange figure lying down in the dirt in a desperate search of food immediately regretted it's actions. It was barely able to think before James was upon it, grabbing it with both hands before cradling it.

It's desperation had forced it into disregarding the sense of primal fear the whole general direction inspired and it had come to regret it's youthful folly.

~~~

Eric was one among many talented youngsters that had been inspired by the Western Holy Church after his forefathers had adopted the Church's theology and joined the ranks of it's Holy Knights... Though he was just a trainee under an older knight at the moment.

He wanted to make the folks back at home proud and maybe, just maybe, join up with the Elite Crusaders of the Holy Knight Order of the Holy Empire Ruberios, responsible for spreading and protecting their faith and their God, Luminous. It... It was also his birthplace so he was a little more motivated than most! S-So he liked to say anyway.

That was the reason he was here in this backwater part of one of the innumerable Western Nations part of the Council of Western Nations in the unironically West part of the continent that seemingly managed and controlled all international affairs related to it's members. Seeing as these nations had recently taken to practising the true faith, the Church had dispatched operatives to cull the growing monster problem in these parts.

Eric would have liked it if he wasn't delegated a job many experienced knights thought useless and instead was sent to the front lines in the constant battle against the Demons under the Demon Lord of Darkness assailing the human nations far before he was born.

But well, this was fine too!

He would rack up achievements here and rise through the ranks, becoming prominent enough that he could choose where to be deployed!

Eric giggled at his own thoughts and brushed his short brown hair with a hand, the other on his sword as he imagined leading troops into battle.

"Hold up fellas! There's something in the dirt!"

"You think something escaped Hinata-sama's entrapment field?"

"Come on guys..." Eric addressed his seniors, though he liked to think of them as friends, "There's no way that would happen. It's that terrifying commander you're talking about." 

"Geh... Why'd you have to bring that up? It leaves a bad taste in my mouth being ordered around by a brat." A shaven bald man with a small grey moustache muttered, visibly annoyed, and stomped his foot, kicking up dirt and grass, "So what if she's talented? I bet she ain't even 20."

Eric could only laugh awkwardly and scratch the back of his head, "I.. guess." It was true that she was younger than even him but still got assigned command of their extermination operation... Even if it was just a small Leech Lizard herd.

"It just means you're even less useful than a kid." The third member of their party spoke out calmly.

"I, for one, think the higher-ups agree with me. Ain't no way they send her to this backwater nation if they saw potential in her." The man barked back, crossing his arms, and closed his eyes wisely.

"Wouldn't that mean we're..."

It meant that they were a level below her in terms of potential.

"Hmm... From what I see. It's just one body and oddly human. Leech Lizards are bipedal creatures that in no way resemble humans, the skin colour's different. 'It' might be a poor kid that just lost his family." The third member sighed, putting a hand over his head of blonde hair and offering a silent prayer.

"So what?!" The bald knight shouted and stomped over to the body. He crouched down and grabbed 'it's' head, lifting 'it' up before turning back to them with a shit eating grin on his face, "'IT' has a fucking horn. Damn, I think an Ogre might have shagged a human." The thing was way too fair skinned for the dark skinned Ogre race and had it's horn in an odd place. The only logical conclusion was that it was a halfbreed.

Eric rushed over to affirm his senior's words and could help but be shocked when he found them to be the whole truth, "There's... no way. Being forced to copulate with a... monster." The thought that it might have been willing never crossed his mind. After all, how could a human like a disgusting monster?

The bald knight flipped the 'monster' over to get a better look and whistled, "Hey look, it's got a horned rabbit in it's hands."

"A good catch." The blonde knight offered, smiling and jammed his broadsword into the disgusting abomination. 

It shattered like glass.

"The hell?"

"Tie him up then, we ain't gonna be doing much. Oi Eric, you do it."

"Ehhhh, do I have to?" The younger knight relented, withdrawing rope from his pouch, "What are we going to do with it?"

"We impress our young impressionable commander with this."

"That is the best course of action."

The horned rabbit playing dead felt that it's fellow creatures had greatly overestimated 'humans'. Why would they assume they could hold it back? This thing was oh so much worse than whatever they seemed to think it was.

'Stupid idiots!'

They could at least let it go!

The 'smart' monster hid itself in the Kijin's strange clothes, and just as it expected. The geniuses tying up a monster that could destroy nations with ROPE thought that it had run away somehow, by burrowing into the ground apparently.

"Let it go, those damned things can blow through a tree if I remember right."

AND HOW WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A THREAT COMPARED TO A KIJIN?!

~~~

Back to present time,

James was drawn to a sudden frantic squealing under his clothes but ignored it in favour of, well, running the fuck away from people that wanted to gut him from the ass up.

~~~

The horned rabbit isn't a typical member of it's species, it's an evolved variant. According to source, it happens every once in a while with every species of monster and demihuman.

A Kijin is the next stage of evolution for an Ogre. Oni comes after Kijin and then comes the godly variation.

James is part of the same evolutionary path that Benimaru and co follow. For now at least.

Oh wait, not James I guess. Nameless Kijin.