Do you know what the worst thing is in this world?
It's when something itches and you can't scratch it.
That is the ultimate torture!
Kazu, out.
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This must be the world that Dad-Father-Dude created. He talked about souls experiencing his creation. A world that seemed chaotic, random, and unfinished. A world where I had been trapped for too long without any hope.
His work was so shitty that he deserved nothing more than a 1-star review from me.
I had been stuck in this nightmare for ages, clueless about what was happening or why I was here. I had no chance of escaping this prison. But then I made a discovery that changed everything for me. I learned something that made me doubt everything I knew and believed.
It happened when I bit my tongue and it bled excessively. It was gone when I woke up. No, not my tongue, you silly, the wound had healed completely. More precisely, it appeared as if nothing had happened at all. This discovery took me by surprise and made me wonder!
It couldn't be possible. Right?
I couldn't tell if it was regeneration or resurrection. Either way, it meant I was immortal or invincible. A terrifying thought.
I felt my face become frigid with horror. I was in deep shit! Being trapped in this place for all eternity…sounds like real hell on earth.
No. No. No. Shit. I thought I had mastered the art of remaining calm and composed. But if I was going to be stuck here forever, with no way out.
This disturbed me so much that I wanted to scream!
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"You know what, I will stop worrying about what will happen to me in the future; whether I will be here forever or not is irrelevant." But that will seem so depressing and hopeless. I will be here forever. Hmmmmp.
No! I have to be optimistic and positive… Let's see… Right!
"Forever cannot last forever…" Well, that does not make sense or sound logical. Anyway, something can seem eternal, yet it always transforms gradually and subtly.
Exactly! Nothing remains constant; everything changes eventually.
Even metal, it corrodes and loses its properties over time.
Or… styrofoam, it will degrade eventually, but only after 500 years or more.
Oh… boy. Does that mean I will be stuck here for millennia or longer?
◇
I made an agreement with myself to stop worrying about the future. It didn't matter if I would be stuck here forever or not. I realized that fretting over the future only increased my anxiety and unhappiness, and changed nothing. I decided to focus on the present instead and make the best of what I had.
There was no point in thinking about the future unless I could escape this situation. I accepted that I had no power over my fate and that dwelling on the future only made me feel more hopeless and helpless. I chose to live in the now instead and find some purpose and joy in what I have.
So, I lived my life one moment at a time. I practiced being more mindful and aware of my thoughts, feelings, sensations, and surroundings in the present, without judging or reacting to them. I learned to appreciate the little things in life.
Well, I wondered if this could be called a life. Ha. Ha. I questioned if this was really living, or just surviving. Ha. Ha. I chuckled at myself for being sarcastic and ironic. But I also acknowledged that this was still a life and that I could still make it meaningful and enjoyable.
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My hearing has become very sharp. I can hear the water droplets falling somewhere:
"Dam da dum dum", "Da dum dum dum", …, "Dum da dam dam".
…
"Dam da dum dum", …, "Da dum dum dum", "Dum da dam dam".
They create a symphony. They make a melody that is soothing and relaxing. They give me a sense of rhythm and harmony. They make me feel less lonely.
◇
Time flies by quickly, moment after moment.
I continue to live my life, appreciating what I have in the present.
This is how I live my life now.
It's not so bad, living in the now. I never knew that contentment could be found in this way too.
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"Tang! Tang! Tang!"
The sound echoed in the distance, catching my attention.
It was faint at first, like a hammer striking an anvil.
I shrugged it off, thinking it was nothing.
But it grew louder and closer, arousing my curiosity.
◇
As the sound reaches me, it is thunderous and deafening.
TANG!
The surroundings tremble around me, and a sharp pain pierces my ears.
But by then, I am already blacking out.
◇
As I listened carefully, I heard a faint murmur of voices.
People?
What were they saying?
"…been buried… edge. Kol found it," a young man's voice said.
"What is it, father?" a boy's voice asked.
"No, take it back. You know how dangerous a relic from the past can be," the man said.
Oy, oy, wait. Don't bring me back to where I was.
"Wait!" I blurted out in desperation.
"Who?" the man said. He sounded terrified. "Kol, pack your belongings. Leave anything you don't need behind," he said.
"Um, yes… father," the boy said.
"Oy! Oy! Wait! I'm not a bad guy," I added quickly.
They didn't listen. They ran faster, dropping things along the way. Their footsteps faded into the distance.
They were gone.
Sigh… I scared them out of their wits.
I was out, but I was still stuck.
As I suspected, a hard shell encased me like a coffin. When I tapped it with my finger, it made no sound.
I was still sitting cross-legged and trapped, but now I breathed different air.
Did they make a hole when they dug me out?
It smelled like forever was ending, I felt like crying.
Living in the moment kept me sane, even though I had no idea how long I had been here. I guessed this was my new normal. I was already getting used to it.
◇
By living in the present moment, I freed myself from worrying about the future.
Who knew that Forever had a sequel? If this were a television drama, the title would be "Forever and Ever Again (Remake)".
Who the heck was not satisfied with the word forever?!
But this time, I smelled new aromas. They were not too bad; almost every day, I heard new sounds that sparked my curiosity and excitement. I also did not pass out from a lack of oxygen anymore.
Though, I still suffered from thirst and hunger. The hunger pangs were like sharp teeth biting into my stomach.
I remembered when I lost my hearing once. I did not fight it; I just accepted it, just like being there but not touching it. Maybe I could do the same with the hunger pangs and learn to cope with them.
◇
Time seems to stretch, perhaps because I no longer die in a matter of hours.
This is how I continue to live in this strange world. The temperature swings wildly from frosty to fiery, making it uncomfortable. But it's not too bad.
Sometimes, I hear the sounds of crickets and insects, serenading me.
I feel like I am on a vacation, a long and relaxing break from the troubles of life…
This is what life is… just chillin'.
◇
One day, I heard an unfamiliar noise nearby.
It sounded like someone or something was walking, but there were too many footsteps for it to be a single creature. It was more like a herd of animals, migrating across the land.
Before I knew it, this world was already teeming with life. Despite my immortality, I knew nothing about this world or its inhabitants. I wondered what kind of creatures they were, and if they were friendly or hostile.
◇
Then I made my first contact with another living being in this world.
Someone was speaking to me, but I could not hear much of what they were saying.
Pardon me. Could you please speak louder? I strained my ears to catch the words, but they were too faint. Being stuck in a hard shell, I had no way to move or lean.
This time, I decided not to blurt out anything that might scare them away.
"…thanked you on behalf of my people. For good harvest and protection,…" a woman's voice said softly as if she was whispering a prayer.
She sounded grateful and reverent, for some reason. After that, I was not sure what she said; it sounded like a chant or a song. Perhaps it had no meaning at all. But it was beautiful and soothing to me, like a lullaby.
Before I could snap out of my trance, she was gone.
But she would probably come back again.
To think that someone would pray to me. Did she think that I was some sort of a god? When did I ascend to such a status?
If this was how being a god felt like, I wanted to quit.
Where could I hand in my resignation letter?
◇
They visited me regularly as if I was a god they revered.
Each time, a different voice spoke to me, but sometimes I recognized one of them. They might have taken turns to pray to me.
At first, I watched them with curiosity, wanting to understand what was going on. Even if I made a mistake, I would have some clues to rely on.
Then I heard a prayer full of fear and urgency.
"Oh, Rowa! The god of harvest and protection. Please protect us. A Visor is coming to our village," a woman's voice trembled. "Please! Grant us your protection," another voice begged for a miracle.
Protection? How could I do that?
If I failed… What would they do to me?