It's ok to love again

It became very awkward to face Ethan after our kiss. I started avoiding him and he confronted me for that but I denied and he kissed me again in the moment of heat.

I DID kissed him back; but I don't know, I felt it wrong to be with my ex boyfriend's brother. I pushed him and ran to my room. After that, he started avoiding me.

He was doing everything he have been doing for me, just stopped showing me his face and talking to me. I wanted to talk to him but he didn't allowed me to.

I asked Daniel to tell Ethan I was looking for him, but he didn't came to me.

I started feeling all alone and hollow. He was the only person I was used to spend all the time with and now her wasn't talking to me !

I was feeling like some darkness was engulfing me and even Suzy couldn't save me from it ! She was so worried about me.

He not talking to me and not showing even his face to me was bothering me so much. Nothing had bothered me this much ever before.

It is wrong to compare but when, Kevin left and I was missing him, even that didn't bothered me this much !

What is happening to me ? Why does his absence bothering me this much ? Why do I want him close to me ? Why am I feeling lonely without him ? Am I...

Am I falling for him ? Or worse, have I already fallen for him ? Because his silent treatment is killing me and I want him to resume talking and being with again.

I know I am the one who pushed him away when he was close to me but...

It was a mistake !

I shouldn't have pushed him away. I should have pulled him closer to me. But won't it make me...

He already said nothings like that, he too is involved in it !

After a few weeks, he went somewhere and I was sitting on the swing, having my juice and thinking about how to get him talking to me.

" Enjoying your own company ? "

Steve came from behind and broke the chain of my thoughts.

I haven't apologized him for denying to come with Daniel to save his life and so, I was avoiding him as well.

" Um...

Actually I was... "

I said absent-minded.

" Thinking about Ethan ! "

Steve finished my line for me.

Is it written over my face ? How does he knows ? He chuckled at my surprised face.

" It is obvious, Amber. When you love someone, thinking of them all the time is common and natural thing ! "

Steve said smiling sweetly.

" What do you mean ? It's nothing like... "

I said trying to deny his words.

" I am not a child, Amber. You can't fool me ! "

Steve said scoffing.

" I...

Really nothings like... "

I again attempted to deny.

" It won't kill you to accept what you feel, once in a while, you know. "

Steve said softly.

I guess, there's no point in denying it now. May be he could help me getting him talk to me. I didn't said anything and glanced down and kept staring on the ground.

He came and sat beside me on the swing.

" I know you are missing him. I even know you two kissed; twice ! "

Steve said teasing me.

How does he... was he spying on us ?

" How do you... "

I asked.

" We live in the same house Amber ! Running onto one another isn't a very rare thing. And mind me, you two were in the living room not even in your bedroom; so I guess there's nothing to be surprised in it. "

Steve said trying hard not to laugh.

He is right ! I felt embarrassed listening it from someone else and so, I stood up to leave. But he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back on the swing.

" Stop running already Amber ! First you ran from the reality of Kevin. Then, you ran from the goodness and genuineness of Ethan. Then, you ran from Ethan's love. Then, you ran from your love for him ! And now, you are running from me.

Stop running and face it ! Running isn't a solution for anything in this world Amber. "

Steve said softly.

" What are you talking about ? "

I said denying to accept what he just said was true.

" Oh, don't act so so naive ! You very well know what am I talking about. Let's face it, you love Ethan ! "

Steve said looking into my eyes.

" Why do you care ? "

I asked confused.

" Because Ethan have always been nice and generous towards me. He never manipulated me to do anything of his favor. He always have been a good friend to me and...

I want him to be happy for once ! He've never found a true love.

He have been with many women in his existence but nobody loved him selflessly !

They were with him for some moto. Either they were gold diggers or wanted to threaten others with his powers !

But you ? You genuinely love him.

I've seen you getting restless in his absence ! You always think of his happiness. Him not talking to you bothers you way too much, to call him your JUST FRIEND ! And then... "

Steve said explaining why did he cared.

" You only thought of him ? What about me ? "

I asked offended.

" I was going to say the exact thing. You are more happy with him around you. You crave his closeness, not sexualy; but just because his presence give you a sense of calmness and protection !

I know it's not right to compare but I've never seen you getting restless in Kevin's absence. because you knew Ethan was there for you !

But in Ethan's absence, you never thought that, Kevin was there for you and you don't need Ethan anymore ! "

Steve said without sugarcoating anything.

Well, he isn't wrong ! What do I say now ?

" It's ok to love them both Amber ! If you aren't accepting you mutual love for eachothers just because, they are brothers and what would it be like to love one brother and then the other ? It's just stupid !

Kevin have turned his emotions off and it's not a minute thing for him ! He'll need a massive thing for turning it on.

And what massive could happen ? And even if, it happened; when will it happen ? Waiting for him to turn it on and then be with him...

Not a very clever idea !

I don't want to break your hope; if, you have any ! But there are chances that, he might never turn it on ! Then waiting for him and wasting your entire life; not a good choice !

Your life is already very short and wasting it on a loose hope; I wouldn't have ever done that if, I were you ! And that too when, someone was waiting for me to accept his love and love him back; which you know you already do !

Just for the sake of a useless and senseless thought of, how could you love two brothers ?

You aren't loving them together and double timing them so, I guess it's ok to think about yourself and be selfish than, be a overthinker and waste your entire life, waiting for someone whoes return isn't fixed ! Think about it. "

Steve said smiling.

Am I drunk or something ? Because his words are making more sense than mine !

" Don't waste more time than you already have ! Tell him and keep him. Don't let him go, he is a true gem. And I swear, he is nothing like his brother ! "

Steve said assuring.

He is right, he is nothing like Kevin. He got up and was about to leave,

" Steve ? "

I called for him.

" Yes ? "

Steve said turning around.

" Thank-you for making me realizing and accepting what I didn't dared to accept ! "

I thanked him genuinely.

" That's alright, sugar. "

Steve said sweetly.

He turned and took few steps,

" And one more thing. "

I said making him stop mid-way.

" What ? "

Steve asked confused.

" I am sorry. "

I apologized genuinely.

" What for ? "

Steve asked confused.

" I didn't came willingly to help you when, Kevin bit you even when, you hadn't done anything wrong to me ! I am really very embarrassed for my behavior... "

I said embarrassed looking down.

" That's past, Amber. Don't spend much time there, it will reduce your time in the present and future !

And you don't need to apologize, it'd be my first instinct to do that as well. Afterall, I had been arrogant towards you when you approached me earlier ! "

Steve said smiling.

" I swear I didn't do it because you did that, I just wanted Kevin to... "

I said trying to explain myself.

" I said, let by gones be by gones. It doesn't matter why you did that. What matters is, I am still alive; Um... existing !

So, let it go. I haven't held it against you. And if, it satisfies you, I forgive you. "

He said smiling.

He came to me and kissed my head sweetly and left. He is sweet though; much more than Daniel is !

Though, Daniel haven't done anything wrong to me but he intimidates me !

Let him go, I should act on Steve's words. But do I really love him ? Or it's just that, I am single and he have consoled me in Kevin's absence ?

He wasn't talking to me or even showing me his face, how am I supposed to confess to him ? Though, he doesn't come infront but I am sure as hell he keeps an eye on me, because he can't leave me unprotected like this.

What do I do to get him come to me...

Ahh, idea !

I prepared my coffee in the evening and finished it in my regular place and without looking around for him and I left the house.

And I can feel him following me at a distance but I didn't turned around. I went to the main road when there is a huge rush in the evening.

And then, I know this is stupid but I am gonna cross the road now when it's red signal for pediatricians !

I stepped on the road with racing heart because, I am afraid what if, he couldn't make it in time and I get hit by some car and die ? I don't wanna die just now.

I took few steps when, a racing car is about to hit me...

" What the hell were you doing ? "

Ethan grabbed me and took me somewhere quite and yelled at me.

" I knew, you would save me and won't let happen anything to me. "

I hugged him in satisfaction.

And after confronting him for not talking to me and keeping distance from me, he apologized and took me for dinner and after having an ice-cream we went home.

He caressed me to sleep and went to his room. I couldn't sleep, I wanted to confess to him ! Just now he proved to me that, he loves me and made me realize, I too love him !

So, I went to his room. He was sleeping sound, his back at me. I slowly went to his bed and without making noise or moving rough I layed beside him.

I gathered my courage and slided my hand around his trunk.

He grabbed my hand and turning towards me, he grabbed my throat and pinned me on the bed. Hovering over me, baring his fangs, hissed hard at me.

I ran my hand on his cheek and calming him down I wispered,

" Calm down, it's just me. "

I wispered softly.

He hid his fangs and still hovering over me he wispered back,

" Stop sneaking up on me like this. It's dangerous. I could have killed you ! "