Frustration

Xiaoling stumbled across the dark pathway which led to the courtyard. She sat on the steps just outside the doorway. The full moon was bright, and the hall behind her was dark and empty. All the lights were out, and everyone was asleep. The cold breeze struck against her shoulders, swirling her hanfu off her shoulder. She annoyingly pulled it back up. 

The slow breeze made the trees dance in the moonlight, and a leaf flew toward Xiaoling. She held her hands out, and the leaf safely landed. 

She held the leaf against her lips, blowing into it slowly. She controlled the octaves to her liking. She composed a little song to play. The leaf wasn't a perfect instrument for this job, but the low sound would surely let everyone sleep in peace. 

Ah, what sweet weather! It was cold enough to make her shiver but pleasant enough to continue her little leaf song. She wondered if those she wanted it to hear would appear before her sight before it was too late. And he did appear. 

"Master?" Weisheng called her through the doorway as he slowly walked up to her. "What are you doing here alone?" He asked while sitting beside her, "Oh?" His eyes narrowed when he saw her eyes staring into his. 

She parted the leaf from her lips, "Took you long enough to take the hint," She chuckled, "Looks like you aren't very popular with girls." 

…

"Is your sight back?" He asked, ignoring her comment for good. 

Xiaoling chuckled softly, "Ignoring me?" 

Weisheng cleared his throat, "How would I know you were playing this to call me?" He pointed at the doorway, "My room is right next to it. Of course, I'd show up if I heard it."

Xiaoling shook her head in disappointment, "You need a lot of training, Weisheng." 

"If I knew you sooner, I'd love to have you in our band," He murmured, "The song you played just now was beautiful. What is it called?" 

Xiaoling hummed to think, "Let's name it… Frustration." 

Weisheng narrowed his eyes, "Why that?" 

"Because I'm frustrated. So, I played it to call a fellow frustrated person. You listen to me, and I'll listen to you. Deal?" Xiaoling asked innocently. 

Weisheng exhaled, flustered by the situation, "You mean you called me out to rant?" 

Xiaoling nodded, "You're the only human here," She sighed, "And I angered my Godmother. Otherwise, I would tell her." 

"So, I'm No. 2 on the 'whom to rant to' list?" Weisheng asked as he chuckled. 

"You can be No. 1 if you're a good listener," Xiaoling smiled. 

"Then please," Weisheng gestured to her to go ahead. 

Xiaoling exhaled deeply, preparing to talk about a topic that frustrated her enough to play a random song outside Weisheng's room to call him out. 

She pressed the leaf between her fingers, "Xiao Qiang…" She looked down, "She said she'll reincarnate in 6 days." 

Weisheng suddenly recalled what Ru had told him. They would all reincarnate one day, and she would only have Weisheng by her side. 

"I can't tell her that I hate to hear that," Xiaoling pressed her lips together, "I've known her for years. She's like my little sister. Having her reincarnate on me and within six days…" She sighed, "I can't process it. I don't know how to feel. It's a happy occasion for her. I can't say I'm sad on a good day, right?" 

Weisheng frowned, "Does reincarnation mean you'll never see her again? Isn't she going to reincarnate as a mortal?" 

Xiaoling nodded, "Once people become spirits, they lose the memories of their mortal life. Similarly, once spirits reincarnate, they lose the memories of their spirit life. No matter how much you try to remind them, they won't remember a thing." She explained in a bitter voice, "And if spirits learn about their mortal life's memories, they lose their chance to reincarnate, getting stuck in the After-Realm with the boring job of banishing evil spirits and living in seclusion indefinitely. I'm not cruel enough to do that to her, so all I can do is watch her reincarnate." 

Weisheng completely understood what Ru meant by his words earlier. It seemed like Xiaoling wasn't aware that her disciples understood her more than she thought. 

"Master," Weisheng called her, "Do you want me to give you a solution or comfort you?" He asked. 

Xiaoling looked up at him, "You have a solution?" 

Weisheng nodded, "It's not perfect, but… It's better than nothing." 

"I'm listening," Xiaoling replied hesitantly. 

"I think you should be truthful to Young Miss Qiang. Are you even close to her if you call her your little sister?" Weisheng humbly presented his solution, "We can't do anything about her reincarnation, but if you're truthful, at least it won't hurt you as much." 

Xiaoling pressed the leaf between her hands, "What if that makes it harder for her to depart? Heaven's Arbiter won't issue another date for reincarnation if she backs out on this one…" She murmured, "I can't risk that…" 

"Then tell her that," Weisheng said, "Didn't you say this was a happy occasion for her? Then, she should happily depart while respecting your honest feelings. She's your little sister, not your enemy." 

Xiaoling frowned in frustration. It wasn't easy to accept reality so quickly. She exhaled deeply. 

"Think of it like this," Weisheng said, "Young Miss Qiang will reincarnate soon. If you specify and count the days down, it will make you feel worse." He suggested, "I always do this when I have to see my superior!" 

Xiaoling chuckled, "You might be right," She said, "Maybe I should be honest, feel at ease, and let her depart in peace. That's the right thing to do, right?" 

Weisheng nodded, "Even better if you keep ranting your feelings out. That way, you won't feel overwhelmed." 

Xiaoling turned to face him and smiled, "Then, you're No. 1 on the list from now on. I can be No. 1 for you, too. Whenever you're troubled, come to me. I'll listen just like you did."