"They say time suppose to heal you, but I haven't done much healing" -Adele
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LORENZIO'S P.O.V
*FLASHBACK TO 11 YEARS AGO*
"Papa!!! Mama is sick, she won't eat, talk or do nothing"
I cried to the stone heart that was known to be my father.
"She is ok. She is just seeking attention that I don't have the time to give" He said as he shrugged and dismissed me.
"If anything happens to my mama I will never forgive you. Mark my words papa, I swear it on mama's life!" I shouted after him as I ran out of his office and towards my mothers room.
I was so talkative and lively back then.
I used to have a ray of light over me, but now it's gone.
She is gone.
I will always hate him for it.
Always.
..........................
Two weeks after my confrontation with my father, my mom died.
Well not exactly.
She didn't just die.
She was murdered.
She was poisoned from the mind.
And it was him.
He murdered my mom.
She was found in her bathtub with her wrists sliced open and the tub filled with sweet crimson water.
She was lifeless yet still the most beautiful sight to me.
I was so shocked I didnt cry after her death.
I still haven't cried...........
I have just been full...........
And all the love I once felt is now sweet aroma of hatred, biterness and anger.
And as promised, I hated my father the entire time.
I trained myself to near death on various occasions just so I could be equipped enough to kill him one day.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
As karma and faith would have it, the bitch now has stage four prostate cancer.
I guess fucking down the entire Italy didn't pay much.
It's sort of a sick self comfort to see him go through all this pain and suffering alone. Just like my mama suffered silently and alone.
I take great pleasure in watching all this unfold.
However, for the persons on the outside looking in, I need to paint the picture that my father and I are a lovable duo and I am very disheartened by his sickness.
That role is very hard to play but I can atleast try to have respect for him. It's only fair because whether I hate him or not, he was my motivation to get stronger, regardless of the motive behind it.
My driver drove me up to the safe house closest to the main mansion where my father was kept to live out his last days.
When I got there, all the helpers and attendants who basically grew me was there brimming with warmth and excitement.
If they only knew the depth of frost that I carry around with me now, they would have added a little more heat to their warmth.
It was sad, but I was not the same 12 year old baby they took care of. I am not the same person to sit and cry and mope over my problems.
I am now the type to deal with it. I make the pain disappear on my own.
It's like magic, I relocate the pain/ problem from me to someone else.
The only two challenges I have had in a while is the rather crawling paced death of my father and the demand of Voshéllisa to die.
If I was able to switch around the fates then this wheezing half dead scum would already be ten feet under the earth.
But maybe, dying too quickly is too great of a mercy to him, he might need to feel some sort of pain before he dies.
Afterall, he deserves every single bit of it.
"Ciao, il mio vecchio preferito. How are you doing? Are you feeling any severe pain as yet, anything life threatening??" I inquired in my most pretentious character.
I, in fact wanted to know his condition but not as a caring son who wishes well for his father but one that is in a hurry to be rid of him.
"I am happy to see you my son, il mio unico bambino Zio" The old man answered in a tender, father-like tone that only erked me because he never used that tone before and he knew that I hated him. He knew that my inquiry was laced with sarcasm.
"Cut the bullshit old crone, You know I hate you. Just as much as you have hated me and treated me and my mother like a concubine with her unwanted addition. Like you were short on resources to feed a house-hold and I was an unnecessary mouth to feed. You cursed day in a day out about how feeble and scrawny I looked and how no son of yours is allowed to look the way I do. You plotted with your 'trusted advisors' about which one of your many women to get pregnant next so that they could inherit everything.
Everything????
qualunque cosa????
Every fucking thing??!!!!
Over me? Your first born? Who should have been the pride of your eyes?? Born from the womb of your wife that loved you with devotion even to her death??" I barked.
"Solo wow. mi disgusti davvero, padre." I said in a very drained demeanor whilst shaking my head.
I was now close to tears, it's a good thing that we were the only one in the room. This was the 1st time I was able to open up and say all that I bottled up for years and It didn't feel like how I expected.
It didn't feel like released a burden at all.
It felt as if I just re-opened some old wounds that I thought healed through my years of training and brutality. In heading La famiglia for three years now, I thought that maybe I was more mentally mature and I was able to now face the man that had changed my life and brought me the most hurt.
Turns out that I can't.
I have to do it though.
I must do it for the sake of my sanity. I must tell him how I feel and what exactly he has done to me for the past eleven years of my life.
"My son, Zio, you are the pride of my life. You and your mother always were and always will be" He wheezed out with sad eyes.
Such a pretender.
Such A LIAR.
Even on his death bed he chooses to lie. How will this lie benefit him??
"Just shut your trap!! You lying son of a bitch. And don't you dare speak about my mother. She died because of you. She left me because of you."
At this point I just completely break down.
And for the first time in over 7 years I cried.
I bawled like a bitch.
I was re-living the pain and torment I went through and it hurt. It hurt so badly because I never got the chance to heal from it.
And I never will.
I won't ever be able to let someone into my life, or allow another person to even get remotely close to me because of this trauma that I endured for so long, so many years ago.
"Mi Dispiace Zio, I never realised how much I was hurting you. I truly am sorry." He tried to lie again through his teeth.
"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME BY THAT NAME AGAIN. THAT IS WHAT MY MAMA USED TO CALL ME AND NO ONE HAS THAT RIGHT. IT'S LORENZIO JR, MR. SNR." I spat at him before I turned to leave.
"Oh and by the way, I know that your only sincere regret is that you were unable to get another heir instead of me."
"You are correct mio figlio, I most definately had a different plan in mind for you" He replied with a sad smile on his face.
And he had the nerve to confess to me like this.
This must be a joke.
I have the perfect plan in mind.
"I will add a new aide to your staff that that will report directly to me. She will assist with your coping mentally with your condition. Whether you decide to fight your ailment or give up" I informed him as I left.
As the saying goes, Killing two birds with one stone.
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