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Sword in Stone

Artie had lived her whole life feeling like a joke. Whether it came to her full name, her parents ‘abandoning’ her and her next door neighbours taking her in, or finding out that her lover was part of a cult and was cheating on her. Said lover then stabbed her. It felt like she just couldn’t catch a break. So when she found herself in a puddle of her own blood, staring up at a fake painted sky, she could only find humour in the situation, and prayed that the next life was kinder. Only she woke up. In the same body, with the same stab wound, only in a world full of magic, swords, and a dead King Arthur? Yup. The round table existed, the knights existed, and so did everyone of legend that she’d heard about as a child. Only it was the beginning of their tales. Nothing had happened yet, except the formation of Camelot, the crowning of the King, and then the sudden death of the King of Legend, King Arthur Pendragon. She would have thought this was another cruel joke if everyone wasn’t wandering around in mourning clothes. If this was a practical joke, it wasn’t a very funny one. Artie was tired. She’d already spent almost a decade working as a police officer, and then a detective, so she felt like she had earned her peace. Especially after all the shit she’d been put through, but someone had different plans. And Artie’s life wasn’t quite done yet. In fact, it seemed like in the eyes of the creatures of this world, this was where she was always meant to be. The time she spent getting her ass handed to her in the other dimension? Just a warm up. And now she was expected to just…go along with what everyone else wanted her to do? Including magical beings who were responsible for taking her from one dimension to another. Artie felt like she was in over her head, even if there were several concerned, attractive knights around her. She wasn’t sure if she was going to run away from all the new responsibilities, or embrace them. She wasn’t a rule breaker by nature, but maybe now was the time to change?

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Never, ever, trust a spirit

Artie knew her face was on fire from Sir Lancelot's words, while it brought up confusion among the other knights. Lady Morgan was laughing lightly, while the men stared at each other in confusion. 

"What does that mean, Sir Lancelot?" Sir Bedivere asked, but Sir Geraint was the one who answered him instead. 

"The King has no Queen, and someone made a good point. And one of us would make a perfect pair for our new King, if she'd have us. Of course, not right now. The King has said they are too busy to even consider such trifling matters like marriage. They'd like to wait till after they are crowned." His blue eyes sparkled as they stared at Artie. Artie wanted to give the man a middle finger, but had a feeling it wouldn't translate. It also wasn't polite, and they were in an official meeting. She'd save it for later. Instead of doing what she wanted to do, Artie sighed, and confirmed what Sir Geraint said, even if she didn't want to. 

"Sir Geraint is correct, at least in that regard." Merlin had stepped towards the table, flanking Artie so she had Merlin on one side, and Lady Morgan on the other. He was clapping his hands in joy. 

"Oh, two knights becoming one? What a joyous occasion!" He was behaving as if he hadn't suggested multiple Queens on the walk here. Artie stared at him and he smiled in response. "I do agree with the King and say we should wait. The King doesn't know your dispositions well, and unlike when marrying a woman, there is no Father or Mother she must negotiate with, just you brutes. So please, polish yourselves enough so that she can find some charm in you. How devastating would it be if she found a different knight from a different area more attractive than one of you?" Artie swung her hand out and smacked Merlin, her first act of violence against the creature. He sobbed as if it had actually hurt. 

"Merlin, watch your tongue. I know that we joked earlier, but I really do have other concerns. Like if the Lords are going to try to dethrone me as soon as I get on it, and if it will be because I am a woman, an outsider, or both. I also don't even have enough time to heal before I need to learn swordsmanship." He had taken a large step back, but rolled his eyes, waving his hand at her concerns. 

"Just ask the spirits for help then. They like you." He sang it like he was speaking as if the spirits had a crush on Artie. Artie glared at the wizard.

"Healing me from a nearly fatal stab wound is of course a first child deal, so absolutely not." His eyes crinkled at the corners while Sir Lancelot seemed confused. 

"A first child deal?" He repeated, and Artie nodded gravely. "You know what would cost you your first child while dealing with the spirits?" He asked, and she nodded. 

"Of course. Don't you?" Sir Lancelot shook his head, and when Artie glanced around the table, she realised most of the men were giving her the same response. "Well, I am assuming everyone knows that the spirits can be helpful, but they always ask for things in return." Sir Lancelot nodded. "The deals can be normal, everyday things, or something on the extreme end. Something to note that they are going to push for more if it's an extreme request. You are less likely to agree to give them your first born if you're asking for them to dry your laundry." Artie gestured to her wound. "They would ask for a first child for healing a wound like this, and probably most wounds. I can't think of any other examples off the top of my head right now, but there are more. Either way, that is a deal I am not willing to make." She gave Merlin a pointed look, and he stuck his tongue out at her. "Merlin is also aware of that since he probably overheard my conversation with the Lady of the Lake." 

"I didn't, I swear." He held his hands up in the air. Artie still didn't trust him and he grinned. "It was just an educated guess. You know so much about me, so I'm just trying to learn more about you." He winked and Artie wanted to growl at the man. He definitely had listened in, he just hadn't done it with his own body.

"Well, in any case, it is good news to hear that the heir won't be taken away by the spirits." Sir Bedivere spoke, leaning back in his chair. "About this Queen business, count me out. I already have a lady I am pursuing." He kept his expression stoney, but his ears turned pink. Sir Percy whistled from across the table. 

"Oh Sir Bedivere! You beast! What is her name?" Sir Percy's eyes were sparkling as he leaned closer, resting against the table. Artie shook her head. 

"Don't answer him, he'll never let it rest." Artie warned, and Sir Percy pouted. 

"Your Highness, why are you stomping on my fun? There might have been a chance I could have gotten the truth out of him!" Artie glanced over at Sir Bedivere, who seemed to be baffled by their exchange, and snorted. 

"I don't think Sir Bedivere is the type of man who would fall so easily for your tricks, Sir Percy. And I wish you the best of luck, Sir Bedivere, with whatever her name is." Artie's smile reached her eyes as she spoke. Sir Bedivere nodded, still confused as he cast a glance to Sir Percy. 

"I would like to be out of this Queen business as well." It was Sir Tristan who spoke, raising his hand to interrupt. Artie nodded. She knew, from stories, that he had someone he was interested in. It was clearly a shock to some of the members of the round table, but not Sir Percy, nor Sir Kay. Instead, Sir Kay and a few others were glancing between Sir Percy and Artie. Artie, who knew something was up, but wasn't sure what, was about to open her mouth when Sir Percy laughed. He waved his hand at the others dismissively. 

"She's already shot me down, so I've resigned myself to be her best friend." His smile didn't reach his gaze as he glanced around the table. "Which means that if any of you idiots decide you want to court her, you have to go through me." It seemed to be a substantial threat. Artie didn't think anyone was incompetent at the table, but she had interacted with only a few of them. Sir Percy did disarm her, in the sense that his friendliness really hid his capabilities. She briefly thought to herself that he should have been involved with spying, but then again, he probably had a big mouth and that was why he wasn't involved. If she was to peg anyone at the table as a spy, it would be the knight who had short, scraggly brown hair and dark, dark blue eyes. His expression hadn't changed the whole time they had been speaking, and instead he'd had a rather calculating expression on his face. As if he was weighing how much Artie was worth. 

"That's not very fair. We have to go through two knights of the round table? At least with other women, it's just her parents." The man who spoke was a new addition to the round table. He had slightly long, slightly curly strawberry blond hair with sparkling brown eyes. His arms were crossed behind his head, and the smile on his face and in his eyes reminded Artie of Merlin for some reason. The mischief there was clear, and Sir Percy rolled his eyes. 

"We can't exactly have the new King be without a defense, now can we, Sir Galahad?" Sir Galahad shrugged.

"Why would we need to defend against our fellow man? We all know each other, right?" Looks went around the table, and Artie grew amused. She chuckled as Sir Lancelot cleared his throat. 

"Sir Galahad, we do all know each other. Which means we understand exactly why we would need to keep an eye out for the King. You are not excluded from the list just because you are the closest we had to healer on the round table. Once Lady Morgan is officially brought in, you will lose that title." Sir Galahad laughed, before making a pouting face. 

"It was all in jest, I assure you. I have seen the condition that some of the men at this table have left the women they have laid with in. So, unless the new King has some…interests we are yet to be aware of, there are some I would suggest against." Artie snorted. 

"You don't need to beat around the bush. I've already seen Sir Percy's wrists, and I'm not some delicate maiden that you need to tip toe around either. There are few things you could show me that I haven't already seen worse of." Artie told them with a self deprecating smile on her face. "Remember? Lord Byron? His situation, that I would like a briefing on at some point Sir Bedivere, was a light job compared to what I normally work on." Sir Kay seemed quietly interested in what Artie was speaking about, along with the other knights. 

"You did say that you were in a profession that was similar to a knight, right Sire? What did you do specifically?" Artie sighed. She didn't sit down in the chair, still worried about her wound, and instead leaned against the back of it. 

"Well, most who do the kind of work I do start off at a guard level. You walk the streets, make sure areas are safe, that kind of stuff. It's only after you've proven your mettle that you move up. I won't lie, my adoptive father held a position before he retired similar to Sir Lancelot, so I probably had it a little bit easier getting in. Now, there were some reasons why that wouldn't be the case, but, those are stories for later. Either way, I worked my way up into my position. You don't spend as much of your time patrolling as we call it, and instead do a lot more research. I was known for that. Prior to that, I was very…hands on. I worked primarily with children, women who had severe crimes committed against them, and other awful things. They tended to like having women be the face of those departments, and I would easily agree with them." Sir Galahad spoke up again. 

"So, you really weren't lying when you said that Lord Byron was nothing?" He asked and Artie sighed. 

"Well, obviously, the children who are missing and deceased aren't nothing, but it isn't my first time seeing someone commit crimes so atrocious I wanted to hurl when I saw what I did through the Lady of the Lake." Sir Lancelot blinked, before he grew concerned. 

"Did that vision cost you something? I know that the Lady of the Lake is supposed to look out for the owner of the sword, but that seems above and beyond what she would normally do." His concern was warranted, since it had cost her something. Artie laughed, shaking her head as she stared down at excalibur which was still on the table. 

"Oh, it cost me something alright, but, it's better to think of it as a positive. If I didn't see it, you likely wouldn't have a new King." Merlin chuckled while the rest seemed confused. 

"Ah, a bribe." He mused and Artie shook her head, her expression grim. 

"No, not a bribe, Merlin. A threat." Lady Morgan turned to stare at Artie in confusion. 

"I don't understand. Why would it be a threat? Did the Lady of the Lake threaten to commit atrocities or something similar? She wouldn't have been able to." Artie shook her head, clenching her hand tightly. 

"No no, nothing like that. It was more…encouragement. They basically taunted me, asking me if I thought someone else was going to take my place, and do the right thing, or if I was going to pass on the responsibility to someone else. Someone less competent. They basically used my pride against me, so, here we are. I'm now a soon to be King of a kingdom I used to read about as a bedtime story as a child."

How many of the knights do you think are going to back out?

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