Struggle

"Why were you born as a woman?!" A high-pitched scream resounded across the room.

The 8-year-old Selena could only cover her ears while holding back her tears. She burrowed her face on her knees while shivering alone in her big yet lonely room. She just wanted to scream, 'Shut up!' 

"Father… please help me…" She weakly muttered. She would have had a good childhood if her father was here. 

All the memories with her father were filled with color and flowers.

Her father smiled, saying, "I know you're going to be strong, Selena. You are my pride and joy. You are talented… more than anyone else in this household."

"I believe you are going to surpass me in the future. I'm very proud of you."

"Whatever you are going to do, I'll help you."

All the memories flashed in her mind, but it only gave an empty house. 

A year ago, her life was filled with happiness, but it all changed the moment her father went missing.

Her mother became a monster once her father disappeared. She demanded everything from her.

Every time she did something right, her mother would only glare at her with such a cold gaze. Every time she made a mistake, her mother would give a harsh lecture that lasted for an entire day. 

She tried to do everything perfectly to avoid her anger, but it still didn't change.

Ultimately, her mother passed away due to illness. When she saw her coffin, there were two thoughts appearing in her mind. On the one hand, both of her parents were gone. On the other hand, she somehow felt happy because she didn't have to deal with her anymore. 

Yet, this was just the beginning of her miserable life. 

Now that both her parents were gone, the one taking over the house was her uncle. Her second mother ended up remarrying her uncle for the legitimacy as well as to get some control in her house.

The cold gaze of her uncle whenever he saw her was like a hunter that wanted to take down his prey. Her second mother was scrutinizing her so that she would lose the chance to succeed the household.

A year ago, her uncle called her to his office. 

He presented her with a paper, saying, "Get ready to marry someone. I'll be looking for your partner. That's the only use of you who is a woman in this family. No matter how talented you are, you won't be able to summon a vampire progenitor since both your father and ancestor had male progenitors. Not a single woman in our family history was able to summon a progenitor. Your only worth is to become a tool for the family."

Selena bit her lips. She had expected this, but it didn't mean she had lost her card. If she was someone who would easily give up, she would probably commit suicide a long time ago. 

However, she waited, endured the mistreatment, and persisted. "That's not going to happen, Uncle." 

"What did you say?" He glared at her.

Selena took out a letter with Frexia Academy's seal on it.

"That's…" He recognized it immediately and saw through her plan.

"I'll be joining the Frexia Academy as a summoner."

"Do you think you are able to escape from your destiny just because you become a summoner? It's useless."

"It might be useless, but we don't know for sure. What we know is that you won't be able to touch me as long as I'm in Frexia Academy, Uncle." 

Her uncle clenched his hands into fists. "Do you think those three years are enough to escape your fate? Do you think it's enough to find your father? The fact that he hasn't come back after all these years means he has died somewhere. Even if you manage to graduate, no matter how talented you are, you will be unable to summon a progenitor." 

"I will succeed. I'll prove it to you that my fate is in my hands. Don't think I will forget all the mistreatment I've received in this household. No. You should have killed me since the beginning. If you kill me now, the Ashton family won't escape the wrath of the Frexia Academy." 

"Kh." Her uncle could only grit his teeth as he watched her leave.

She managed to carry herself forward. Of course, the moment she was spotted, she left her house, using every bit of her money to survive until she enrolled in Frexia Academy. There was no support from her family because they were the people that wanted her to fail the most.

This was the reason why Selena told Nathan that she couldn't do anything related to money. Just like Nathan, she was also desperate. 

The moment she read Nathan's test paper, she was stunned beyond belief. It was even more shocking the moment Nathan mentioned Lilith. 

It was as if a ray of light had finally illuminated this dark world. The clock that had stopped ever since her father went missing started moving again. 

Out of desperation, she challenged Nathan to get information about Lilith.

She had chosen everything that could help her get the top score in this trip. However, it seemed that she had miscalculated her own misfortune.

Her life was already filled with misfortune, and this time, when she finally found a clue, another misfortune struck her.

"It's cold. Why does everything turn against me?" Selena shouted while covering herself with a blanket. Her consciousness was already fuzzy, but she couldn't sleep in this terrain.

She thought that luck finally smiled at her when she saw an empty stone hut near the river. She wanted to negotiate with the owner to let her rest for a bit in exchange for some cores, but it turned out the owner was Nathan, her competitor.

Once again, she felt fate ridiculed her in its own way. 

"Oi. Are you alright?" Those words kept ringing in her ears. Despite being her competitor, Nathan was concerned about her.

Yet she could only smile sadly, thinking, 'I am a bad girl. No. Am I any different than those people from my family? Even though I knew he was concerned about my well-being, I selfishly pushed his hand away. I need to win against him for my own sake.' 

Despite being filled with regrets, she could still feel Nathan's hand… the very first hand that tried to help her after all this time. 

While recalling Nathan's face, she couldn't help but think, 'Can you understand my desperation?'