Deadly Weapon

"This is ridiculous!" The large elf pounded his fist on the table before the two. A loud thud resonated in an otherwise empty room. Some chatter on the outside but it was of no concern.

General Zodery stood there, her head hanging low. One elf stood next to her but unlike her, he wasn't even paying attention. He was too busy itching his ear, desperately searching for that eargasm. He just couldn't get enough of that feeling. That succulent, teasing, tickling delight-

"PUG!" The man screamed again.

"Yes, commander?" the man said, pulling something out of his ear, giving the man a half smile.

"Pay attention," he ground his teeth. "We've lost a war here!" A large vertical scar ran across his eyes, no pupils.

"Correction, we've lost a battle. The war is still ongoing. We haven't lost even one tenth of our army."

"Moral is low, it is no longer a matter of numbers," Zodery said.