chapter 11

Different emotions ran through Psalm's head, as much as he wanted to continue this but he just couldn't at least not yet. He didn't want to get into bed with her especially when they're not dating and she's probably with Adams. 

"What don't you want this? Emily voice was low and a tempting melody in his ears. He would've fall into the traps set by this dangerous woman but there's something that keep snapping him back to his sense. And that snap came again with an electric thrills, giving the courage to look her in the eyes.

"As much as I want to but I don't think this is right" He hold her hands. "I want you, badly but Emily this is not right" he tucked a strand of her hair to the back of her ears, slowly trailing his hands down to her cheeks. There, they rested and Emily found comfort and warmth in it.

"I'm sorry I threw myself at you" Her lust desires were replaced and she was mortified of what she had come.

Of course it was unlike her to react this way or give in to her emotions easily but seeing Psalm standing at her door made it hard and before she realized she was no longer in charge of her body. She couldn't control herself and this was unlike her, right now she couldn't even looked at his face, his eyes that stared at hers like it was looking past her body into her soul.

"Hey no need to apologize"  he brushed his lips against hers before standing up from the couch. "I'm gonna go " She stood up and walked him to the door. There was a moment of silence between them, more like awkwardness. What ever had drove their desires to it's peak was gone and the hot atmosphere was replaced with a strange feeling of cold. 

"Guess I'll see you around" Emily finally said to break.the awkward moment between them. 

"K" that was all he could breath out. Maybe this was the beginning of the boundaries they should have set up as friends from the beginning but they both had deep attraction which they acted on. 

Emily watched him go before closing the door. She leaned at the door before slopping to the floor, hitting herself not hard though but lightly.

"What the fuck just happened" She muttered. She closed her eyes tightly trying to process how she behaved earlier but no matter how hard she tried to decipher it, she just couldn't.

"You were driven by desire" her head snapped to see who just said that.

"Oh it's you" She looked at the figure, image of perfections, she envied. "Have you come to tell me another bullshit myth" 

"You're angry" The image said as it pitch black eyes stared at Emily who in turn glared back at her. Emily did not understand where this rage was coming from, or what she was actually feeling right now but it just keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger till she was consumed in it. 

She stood up on her feet. "Because of You I keep seeing illusions of someone who's supposed to be dead. Of someone who I love and it keeps reminding of the day I came back to see her lifeless! To see her covered in blood" tears flowed down her eyes. She needed someone to pour it all out and to blame everything on. "Now I just made a mistake that i regret so much cause now I don't know how to face him and I don't know why the fuck I'm crying right now" More tears came out like a pipe of water being burst open.

"It's okay child"

"No! None of this is okay" Emily shouted. "None of this is okay. I'm not okay cause right now I maybe crazy" it was like all the pain, sadness locked up inside her were set free and she kept bringing out tears, more tears, more than she has ever let out in the past years, or even ever. "I'm crazy. I'm finally gonna be needing a therapist or a psychiatrist cause none of this is fucking okay " 

This was the breakthrough she needed from all that has been going on, happening around her in the past few years and the Image just let her pour it all out. Took the blame, and hoping it will make her feel better. But did Emily felt better? Not yet cause right now she was trying to catch her breath. She was weak from all.the crying, all the shouting just like children who just had their first episode with tantrums but a little different cause no parent to console her. Emily dragged her feet to her bedroom, lying down on her bed, staring at the ceilings to regain her focus but all were in vain cause she burst into tears again. Wasn't the perfect night though but at least within her she left she let go of something that has being weighing her down. The image came inside the bedroom and lay down besides Emily, stroking her hair. For the first time physical contact was made and the two were surprised but right now was not the time for amazement but a time of consolation and She offered it. She opened her mouth and a sweet melody came out, it was low, light and beautiful and Emily found peace in it, allowing everything around her disappear. She focused on the lullaby and herself, it was nothing she expected but soon all her emotions and feelings were shut out and all she could see were empty voids filled with songs and laughter. It was like Before she was interrupted, but this time laughter and songs grew near and she saw a face filled with the happiest and most peaceful smile. She extended her hands towards Emily and Emily took it, tears dripping from her cheeks.

"Mom" she muttered, then  inhaled and exhaled before calling out in a louder tone. "Mom!