Chapter 7: When souls unite

"Stay please.." Kay hesitated given his experience in the past. He doesn't want any unwanted news to cause any further harm.

"Kay..." Yan Lan's hand still gripping Kay's wrist as he stood up.

This time Kay was the one overwhelmed with emotions, there was just a sudden hurt that seem to pricked his heart further... his initial intention why he came here seems to have taken a detour route....he was suck into the past, he unconsciously detoured from his original intention.

Yan Lan was right there's no other way but to stay until the commotion dies down.

He stepped back and sat back onto his seat, Kay's eyes a little damped now caught Yan Lan's attention. He reach out to hold Kay's hand only for Kay to pull it back. "Uhhmm we are outside..."

That's his Kay, Yan Lan smiled as he looked at the person in front of him staring downward ... the one that's conscious of his surrounding, both complimenting each other's strengths and weaknesses.

Kay as usual looked up after recomposing himself "So when did you arrive and what brings you here? How are things?"

"A day after you ... it's my yearly trip" he stopped recalling their last visit here and his heart whispered deep inside 'it's our yearly trip' as he look up with his eyes starring into Kay.

Kay didn't like to see that look on Yan Lan. It was the same look in his dream when he had to see Yan Lan grieving when he had to depart from that world of theirs back then. His wish was to always have Yan Lan protected, while he will sort out his predicament himself.

While dinner felt warm and comfortable after a day of skiing. Yan Lan took time to understand how is his Kay doing after all these months. "Kay when are you leaving?"

I'll probably leave in 3 days..."

"Hmm then let's spend the 3 days together" Yan Lan said

Kay was quiet, Yan Lan know after the whole ordeal and incident Kay needs more convincing.

Kay on the other hand remember the series of conversations he had after Yan Lan met his parents and the series of events that came right after that which put both of them at the brink of despair. He recalls all the hurdles they had to go through in this phase of their lives ever since the path to stardom hit them and he remembers that fateful night when he was lost in Yan Lan's touch that set them onto the path they were heading.

After dinner they headed out for a bit to walk. While they caught up with each other on their progress and where things were both of them had questions that needed to be trashed out but as they were enjoying the time, they stayed silent about it, looking to keep the atmosphere cordial.

"I bought a place by the seaside" He said "like the one you had always wanted, near your hide out, I...wanted to tell you that the last time" Yan Lan added

Kay stopped at that and he held back what he was feeling....the pricked in the heart seems to stab in further and he decided to confront it. "I stop going back there." He said not offering any further explanation. "It's late let's rest early, shall we?" Kay kept his distance, he enacted the wall in between them quickly, he was fearful again and somewhat tired of the repeat. He walk ahead first..the walk was just heavy. He remember the event after where he stood by his mother's side, broken and unsure how to proceed, his heart torn to two. His mother, she was always supportive of his decisions as long as it made him happy. Heavily accustomed to family values and tradition, he had his fair share of explanations and conversations with them when news about them went full blown. While he speaks less about him and Yan Lan now to his parents, the publicity had never stop to haunt them. And at times when Kay feels lost in this whole situation, he would drown himself in his paint brush, his writing and poems, his music and his space where he could speak his heart out.

They stood there under the night sky as they walk back to the hotel rooms, Yan Lan walked him back and as quiet as he gets "Stay with me tonight" he said as they got into the lift. He whispered into Kay's ears as he pressed the floor to his room. It turns out they were both on same floor but different rooms. Kay did not answer it wasn't a yes nor a no...he was internally rationalising his thoughts.  And as they got off the lift Yan Lan walked him back to the room and waited while he took his things over to Yan Lan's room.

The embrace on the slope, the warm lips of Yan Lan on his stir their past emotions back, the long misses, the promises and vows that were left unattended came in between the two tonight. And as they remove their jackets Yan Lan pulled Kay in for a long embrace again just them here tonight. Their hearts felt this parting was longer than the rest ....especially when Kay seems to zone off and he wasn't able to get through him at times. Yan Lan looked into his eyes "What made you leave?, we had it planned ....was I not listening?" He asked as he caress the side of his cheek looking deep into those eyes now that starts to tear a little. "Talk to me Kay, I want to know...I want this to work. I've come here like how I said I will every year, I want to be with you....just you"

"I know Yan Lan...but it doesn't seem just as easy as that...."

"It is, if you think it is, don't be bothered like how i have always said it...it is our lives, this is about us, no one else and nothing else. Trust your heart, trust us, at least trust me"

He moved in to take Kay's lip with that remarks continuing from where he left off on the slope earlier. Yan Lan wants him to feel it, feel his own feelings that Yan Lan felt. He pressed in to take on those lips slowly letting Kay feel it himself ...what they have fought for, his renewed confession again, and as Kay tried to fight his thoughts, tears of misses trickled down his eyes unknowingly only to be kissed away by Yan Lan again. They both understood how the path had made them so different yet it can never erase what they have sewn from the start, a pure love to begin with under the shooting star, dreams that they painted under the night skies just them alone. The vows and promises stayed clear in their minds like how they were in their dreams. He waited until Kay responded back with his kiss and when he did Yan Lan push deeper into his mouth just taking in every emotion that they could feel in that embrace, in that kiss he could feel, Kay slowly letting go, letting his defences down again, it hurts Yan Lan to see how guarded Kay has become with them apart. Yan Lan peel the layer of wall that Kay had so frequently put up and just bridging the feelings that was left buried deep inside since their parting.

Yan Lan took his time like how he first did when Kay totally surrendered to him. Kay letting Yan Lan guide each movement ....the time away had made Kay afraid to feel more than what he could fall for as how he normally is. Yan Lan waited  to hear the moans from Kay as he took through the side of his neck marking it with his kisses and it wasn't long until Kay starts to respond back with his hand moving to embrace Yan Lan's back.

Yan Lan moved them onto the bed as they removed each other's clothes while slowly taking in the touch and kisses across their neck and torso. " I miss you a lot Kay" Yan Lan said...."really miss you" he said with a broken voice ...."so much" and with that he dived down slowly towards Kay's trunk below filling it up in his mouth, startling Kay with the sudden move "Ahh Yan Lan.....mmmn" Kay's moan encourages Yan Lan more as he move to stroke him up and down. And Kay like how it was in the past, Kay held on to Yan Lan's head gently combing his fingers through his hair while he takes in the emotions with his head titled upwards, taking in the strokes, feeling each movement until he can no longer hold it "Ahhh Yan Lan....Ahhhh! Ngmmm....I can't aah! He pushed Yan Lan away and burst out shyly as he clenched his two legs together dropping himself leaning into Yan Lan's chest. Yan Lan satisfied with Kay's reaction pulled Kay in for another kiss "I miss seeing you this way"

"There's so much that i miss about you and us I can't begin to tell you in words anymore Kay, it's really beyond me..."

Kay felt helpless seeing him this way and just planted a kiss on his lips" I'm sorry that we seems to be in circles with this path Yan Lan" he said quietly looking down

"So let's not ....anymore" Yan Lan said as he crushed his lips into Kay...I want to move forward, I want us to move forward.

With this he move Kay facing downwards as he slowly trail his spine with his mouth, just letting go every thoughts and misses that had been bothering him. While Kay wasn't sure of his feelings himself when they first explored such intimacy, he knows now this is what Yan Lan wants when the misses gets too unbearable and their schedule and surrounding was impossible to meet. They needed to find each other back. As Yan Lan prepare Kay to take in more of him, caressing the entrance gently down Kay's spine, Yan Lan's touch burn sensationally sending shivers down through Kay and seeing that, Yan Lan push in quickly to drown Kay further in the desire to want it more. "Ahh Yan Lan!...." Yan Lan's harden trunk is beyond control as he rock back and forth controlling the built up longer wanting Kay to take in everything, wanting him to just feel the emotions, feel them, their solid longing that was kept buried sent such strength in both that they were just in their own world rocking back and forth calling out each other's name "Kay! Ahh I want you so much!" As Yan Lan thrust each misses deeper into Kay and Kay responding with such encouraging moans sending both of them bursting and releasing simultaneously and as they did, Yan Lan took time to let Kay feel the emotions - their souls connecting at the most intimate level, reuniting during this moment again as they were once tied by fate from the past.

"I love you Kay....don't push us away anymore, I know you are hurting inside, let us love freely like how we were made to in the beginning"