Apology

After

Norman's photos leaked out, a lot of boys messaged him. Even though Norman has

no interest in dating someone right now, he replied them anyway. Most of them

were flirting with him, some were sending malicious messages. But Norman ignored

the toxic ones. He isn't bothered by them.

Even at the cafeteria,

a lot of boys sit with him. Norman isn't used to this kind of attention so he

feels too much uncomfortable. But with Raven, Sara and surprisingly

Taesung...he feels a little better.

After three days Saffran finally came to school. He looks like someone has badly

beaten him up without making a scar. His green eyes are dull, huge eye bags

under them. His hair is dishevelled. He lost weight a little. Seeing him now Norman

doesn't feel like crying anyone. He sure missed him a lot. But day by day, with

his friend's mental support, his mom's encouragement he was healing from those

nasty incidents. Everything else was same. Sure he still has lingering feelings

for that pretty boy but he tries hard to control his emotions. And for that he

ignores him as much as he can. He blocked him in all kind of social media.

"You need to

tutor me on math." Raven says with a sigh. His blonde roots are growing and it

looks so amazing with his already purple hair. Norman smiles at him. He can

feel Saffran's gaze from behind. Yes he is in the same class with Saffran right

now. "No prob. You can come to my house anytime. Only if you're comfortable

with it." Raven rolls his eyes. "Your home is way more comfortable than mine."

"Stop that fluttery. Also...you need to keep your hands to yourself." Raven

smirks. "Or else?" "Or else you can fail in math with respect." It's true that

Norman and Raven had been more intimate that before. Since Raven doesn't mind

with no strings attached sex and Norman needs to get away from his burning

emotional pain, they often have sex now and then. It has become a regular thing

for Norman. Before Norman used to feel too much guilty for having sex with a

man other than Saffran. But then Saffran's words, his punch overcome his guilt.

He is not guilty anymore. It's his body and he can do whatever he want with it.

"Hmh. You're

a meanie." Norman leans over and kisses him on his lips. Almost the whole class

starts whistling and cooing. Norman has become braver than before. He hears

something slamming and when he looks back he sees Saffran looking at him with

pained eyes. Norman doesn't look at him for much time. He quickly averts his

eyes. 'What's his problem?' He thinks and then shrugs.

Raven left Norman

before they could go to the cafeteria as Alex told him to meet him. He absentmindly

walks through the corridor of those same old empty rooms. Thousands of thoughts

were in his mind.

Suddenly he

sees Bryce standing in front of one of the class room. Norman gets confused. He

approaches him as he sees him opening the door of the room. As soon as he

reaches in his boundaries, with a not so apologetic smile and in a swift move

Bryce pushes him into the room and locks the door from outside.

Norman was

so perplexed that he didn't understand what just happened. When someone clears

his throat that's when Norman realizes that he's not alone.

Saffran is

standing in front of him.

Norman

narrows his eyes and crosses his hands. "Stop this shit right now." Saffran

steps towards him and Norman takes a step back. He is too much cautious. What

if Saffran hurts him again? "I'm not gonna hurt you Norman." Saffran says

almost pleading. "I don't believe you in the slightest." Saffran sighs. When he

is only 2 inch away from Norman he suddenly hugs him. Norman writhes and

thrashes his hands and legs to get away from his body.

"Please....i

need this." Saffran croaks. If it wasn't for the hatred he has for this pretty

boy fogged his brain then Norman would surely consider his feelings but Norman

had enough. When he gave his all, Saffran returned them with punches and

slangs. He's not gonna fall in his trap now.

With huge

force Norman finally pushes him hardly. He quickly goes towards the door and

bangs on it. He has no energy now to say any snarky remarks to Saffran. He is

tired. "Bryce!! Open the door!" Norman screams loudly. He very well knows

nobody comes at the abandoned rooms' corridor.

Saffran quickly

comes towards him and holds his hand. Norman twists his wrist to get away from his

grip. "Norm please listen to me. Please for once!" Norman doesn't listen. He

keeps on screaming. Having no way to make him listen, Saffran kneels in front

of him and clutches onto his legs. "Please!" He desperately cries.

Norman

doesn't know what to do. He never even imagined Saffran kneeling in front of

him. He keeps quite. Hearing no sound from him Saffran looks up. For the first

time Norman sees tears in his eyes. But Norman knows it's all drama. He is sure

Saffran only needs his body.

"I know

saying sorry won't be enough." Norman rolls his eyes at Saffran's petty line.

"But...i wanna apologize." Norman snorts. "Took you long enough." "I was in depression.

You heard.....Jess is pregnant right? I don't love her. I don't f*ckin love her

Norm!" He cries, tears streaming from his evergreen eyes. "That's not my

problem." "I know baby-" "Don't you dare." Norman's tone was vicious.

"I'm so

f*ckin sorry....I'm an idiot...a f*ckin dumbass! I couldn't sort out my

feelings so i vent all my frustrations on you...You can hate me all you want.

You can beat me up or just cut my skin i don't care! Please just.....forgive me

Norman. Please talk with me again. I need you so f*cking much! You're my

everything." At last line Norman laughs out loud.

Clutching

onto his tummy he removes a fake tear from his left eye and says, "You should

be given the tittle 'Clown of the year'. Forgive you huh? That I can do

after a year or a decade. But.....I think suicide is better than talking with

you again." Norman smiles sweetly with bitterness in his voice. Saffran shots

up and holds his shoulder. He seems frantic. Looks like he'll break or burst.

He gaps his mouth open and closes like a fish out of water. It seems like he

isn't able to get words out of his lips and he is trying too hard to control

his breathing pattern. Norman worries at his weird behaviour. But what can he

do? Is he having an panic attack? With shaky hands he holds his face. "Relax."

He whispers to him.

Saffran gets

his word and tries to relax while breathing hard. After a long sigh Saffran

quickly holds Norman's hand which was set on his cheeks. "Norm....what can I do

to make you talk to me?" Norman sighs too.

"You can't

do anything. The wound you gave me is still raw. I can't trust you anymore. I

can't talk with you anymore. I can't....love you anymore." The last line was a

lie though. But it surely makes Saffran wobble backwards. "A-are you sure?" Saffran

chokes on his own words. The lines Norman told him hit him like a sharp, big

arrow.

"Even if I'm

not...i don't want to associate with you in the future. You've hurt me

enough now I feel scared whenever you're near me."

Saffran

doesn't say anything. He just keeps on crying. Seeing him like this surely Norman's

heart bleeds. But he can't risk his heart again. If he again crawls on

Saffran's lap he don't know what Saffran will do to him. He just can't trust

him again.

When Norman

again turns to the door Saffran holds his wrist from behind. "I'm not gonna

force you to be with me again. But this time.....I'll show you what you mean to

me. I'll take baby steps even if it all fails, I'll try to win you back again."

'Like a prized possession?' Norman thinks. He wanna ask badly that if Saffran

actually like him or....love him. But the possible answer scares him. What if

it's something negative? What if Saffran mocks him again? He can't afford to

hear that. Also he wanna ask about the unborn baby. What'll Saffran do with it?

Why is he running after him when he's becoming a father soon? Is he playing

with his feelings again?

"Do whatever

you want. But one thing you must remember." Saffran looks at him with hopeful

eyes. "I'll never be yours in this lifetime. Specially when you got an unborn

baby to take care of."

Saffran

doesn't say anything. He is standing there like a paralyzed person. And to Norman's

utter relief Bryce opens the door. He quickly gets out of the room pushing

Bryce and heads for the cafeteria.