Reaper's Staff

"Don't leave so quickly Haurnik I need to give you a card so that you can come any time." I hand him the gold embossed indestructible one time Retrieval card with the words engraved in abyss dust Store of Implausibility a shop for the Gods and Mortal all are equal here and in very small print the payment shall come later. I think they always forget that nothing is free it's surprising that the Wendigo chose the pill that went into a deep bloodline that leads to a chaos God Of the Feast and Fear for Wendigos are so cute with their deer like fur and wolf teeth standing on two feet it's so beautiful.

I just wish I didn't have to kill them after 10 minutes for their first purchase. I talk to my house quite often because it's the Restrictor of me The god of Implausibility which is all fine and dandy till you realize I have no worshippers but am more powerful then any of the others cause worshippers only amplify a gods power I don't blame them for banishing me I am very chaotic. I once turned a god mortal for 200 years, killed a god with a mortal weapon, destroyed heaven with a single tear, cursed a thousand gods with impotency and many others (The impotency is what got me banished for some reason).

The impotency curse was such a work of art and is the one that landed me here cause I can't die since it's very plausible. My powers control the playability factor if something cannot happen I can make it happen without effort also implausible things that mortals do gives me that power. I turned my prison into my home and decided to try to help the other gods recover by helping their popular isn't that great but I also want to cause a little chaos.

Was I too impolite with Haurnik oh he's still here oops "Haurnik you should leave before your soul is torn in two."

I then feel a cold chilling presence perfectly cooling off my house nice. I see the 5 meter tall lich with cold blue eyes shining as his cold grasping voice says "What excellent magic energies I almost cannot handle it even when their are so many restrictions upon it and would I be right that you own this store sir." As he kneels upon the ground his black cape flashing behind him and ice blue heart pulses mana throughout his body.

I laugh "please don't kill my other customer with simply your presence Lazerarus The First Frozen Lich who can freeze a planet who's experiments have created many new Frozen undead. I am honored by your kneeling but I am No god who cares for honor."

Lazerarus opens the door picks up the wendigo and gently throws it outside saying "I shall spare you for your mind is falling to chaos in the presence of simply the house itself. My God would you please lower the chaos this house emits so that I may browse your wares."

"Oh I know what you need The Reapers staff a item created from the skull of the God of Death it shall empower ice and death magic by over 500% even if you are weaker then it but it will accept you as a master because of the researchers heart you have for it loves knowledge and wants none to suffer death."

The lich then grabs his heart offering it to me and I simply force it back within his body for I have no such need of supplements that can be barely support the weakest god even at his healthiest or weakest. I hand them the staff of my dear friend The Reaper who was happiest in reaseach glad it could find a new home and hopefully create a new god of death instead of the very pompous Hades who "Rules all Underworlds"

He is fair to all of his subjects strangely enough so much so that I wish he was a God of justice and order it's annoying cause he supposed to be evil. I hate how self worthy he is with all his justice talks and order in the underworld. I used to go there to see the sights of punishment but it was so boring when he started to yap over my shoulder.

I spun and pointed at the lich and said "Do well for this weapon comes with my blessing of Undeath meaning you shall not decay anymore unless you wish it and you can heal all other undead without using miasma good luck and become a god."