Train Tracks

The fog was growing thicker and thicker with each passing second. Sweat soaked the inside of her hoodie while her arms trembled with Ren's weight. Her chest heaved, and for a moment, she stopped, putting Ren down gently. The grass cushioned his body, and Sunny fell to her hands and knees, beads of sweat dropped from the edge of her brow.

What was she supposed to do here?

The situation was looking grim. Sunny had never seen Ren so pale before. With her limited knowledge, she had done her best to tie a scrap of cloth around his arm to stop the bleeding. But every time she managed to drag his body just a little further, the fabric would come loose, and the bleeding would continue. She had done this three times already.

Until today, Sunny had no idea a person could breathe so slowly and still be alive. How could Ren have thought that losing his arm was the best idea for that situation? Certainly, there must have been a better option. Ren could have maintained his distance for a while, tried a different technique, tired the denizen out. Something, anything other than what he had just done.

Sunny wiped the sweat from her brow and gripped the end of Ren's hood with both hands. Her fingers were locking up on their own, her muscles crying for release. Simply squeezing the hem of Ren's hood had Sunny's arms hardening into rocks.

Sunny was reaching her limit.

"I'm sorry, Ren," Sunny cried, allowing the tears to flow down her cheeks. She leaned back on her legs, burying her face in her hands. "I don't think I can save you."

It was going to be just like last time. Another greeting, another parting. Why was it that she could never hold on to anyone? Was there something wrong with her? Was she somehow cursed? This was not fair. Sunny had never been anything but nice to everyone. Yet, here she was, on the verge of losing yet another important person in her life.

"Papa," Sunny choked out through hacked sobs, "what do I do? You… you never taught me any of this. I don't know how to help him!" Sunny slouched forward and ripped a clump of grass out with her hand, bashing her closed fist against the dirt. "Please! Please help me! Help him!"

A gentle breeze began to rustle the nearby trees.

Sunny sat up, her cheeks soaked and red from tears. She cocked her head back, looking at a sky covered by smoky fog. "Papa…"

---

A Few Years Ago

A torrent of rain pelted the exterior of the train's caboose. Perched on her elbows, Sunny peered through the window while Papa manned the train through the storm. With him behind the controls, Sunny knew she would be safe. There was no one better.

"Hey!" a voice cried from behind Sunny. She looked over her shoulder to see a boy who appeared around a year younger than her. Emerald eyes bore into Sunny from beneath a head of messy brown hair. His face was littered with freckles, and he was missing a tooth. "Wanna play?" he asked, his voice whistling through the gap in his teeth.

Sunny drummed her fingers against the windowsill, looking away. Papa was always traveling, and by extension, so was she. Friends made were friends lost. Sunny found she spent more time traveling on the trains than in her own home. At times, she could barely remember what her room looked like or where the stuffed animals went. Returning home was sometimes a chore because they would spend most of the week dusting from their time away.

"Come on!" the boy said. "Let's play tag!"

The urge to play was too great. Sunny hopped down from the seat, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Okay! But let's make some special rules!"

"Whaaaat? What kinda special rules?" The boy frowned. "You're not gonna cheat, are you?"

"No, silly!" Sunny winked, putting a hand on her hip and wagging her finger at him. "This will make it more fun!"

Every day was spent like this. Another friend made… another friend lost.

An hour later, the train pulled into the station. Steam blew from the pipes leading out of the machine, and an old bell rang throughout the caboose. Humans and monsters exited through the doors one by one. As family members waved hello to each other, Sunny stayed behind and waited for Papa.

"Hey!" said the boy from earlier. Sunny's eye twitched, and soon she felt sad to say goodbye again. "I had a lot of fun! Let's play again!"

"Yeah, sure," Sunny said with her head bowed.

"Now, come along, Charley. Let's leave the little lady alone," said an older woman, presumably the boy's mother. Tipping her hat to Sunny, the older woman took the boy's hand and led him off the train with the others. The boy waved frantically up until the moment the doors closed.

Another friend made. Another friend lost.

"Who was the boy?" Sunny looked up to see a weathered man in a black suit and tie. He wore a white button-up t-shirt underneath. Beneath the man's cap was a head of black hair speckled with hints of gray. Eyes as blue as the ocean's depths looked upon her with fondness. Sunny could spot a smile behind his rugged beard if she looked hard enough.

"Papa!" Sunny squealed with delight.

"How's my girl?" he asked as he went down on one knee. Sunny threw her arms around her father's neck, pulling him as close as her little arms would allow.

"I'm okay," she whispered into Papa's ear. "A little sad, though."

"I know, sweetheart. I know." After a while, he parted from his daughter's hug. "I promise it won't be like this forever."

"I know."

"I want to talk to you about something since we got about a half hour until the next group arrives," Papa said. "There will be a lot of monster civilians boarding the caboose. Do you remember what I said about them?"

"Always give them space, and don't talk to them!"

The man smiled wide. "That's my girl." He ruffled the pink-blonde hair of his daughter, eliciting a giggle.

"Oh, Papa! Look what I can do now!" Sunny clapped her hands against her chest and shut her eyes. The muscles around her shoulder blades tensed; moments later, she could feel it. The wings were sprouting from her back. She drew a deep breath and opened her eyes. Sunny could see the whites of Papa's eyes. "Papa?"

The man ran his hand across his beard. Sunny knew that Papa did this whenever he was thinking. Like a good girl, she decided to wait.

Papa got comfortable and crossed his legs.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, shrinking beneath his gaze. 

"No, sweetie." Papa smiled, and Sunny sat down in front of him, mimicking his gesture. "Do you remember when we talked about your Jitter? Way back when you were even smaller."

Sunny nodded. "Mhm! It's a gift!"

The man chuckled. "Yes, that's right. It's a gift. And when we get gifts, what do we say?"

Sunny knew the answer. "We say 'thank you!'"

"That's right." Papa hesitated. The smile vanished. "You're a big girl now." Papa craned his head over his daughter. Sunny hoped he found her tiny wings cute. "You'll hear many different things from people about Jitters. It might not make sense to you right now, but I need you to remember something for me."

"Anything, Papa!"

"Never pity those without a Jitter. Never look down on them." His gruff tone caught Sunny off guard. "Do you understand?"

"… Why would I do that?" Sunny's smile vanished; with it, so too did her wings.

Papa shook his head. "You'll understand someday. I promise. Can you do that for me?"

Sunny paused, then nodded her head. "I can do that! Everyone is equal, right?"

"Yes." The smile returned. "Yes, everyone is equal." Papa took the cap off his head and put it on Sunny's head. "I'm proud of you."

Sunny tipped the cap forward to hide her blush. "Thanks, Papa."

Time flew by in an instant. As the civilians boarded the train, Sunny kept to a corner of the caboose, her back against the wall. Incredible creatures she could only imagine began to board the train. While she did not have the official names for them, she could see some with fur, others with scales, and a couple of odd ones with something in between. A few others had horns protruding from the sides of their heads. A pair of girls with oil-colored skin and slim features practically slithered onto the train with whip-like tails behind them.

Some of these monsters were a first-time sight for Sunny.

Sunny's knowledge of the monsters was minimal at best. Papa used a lot of complicated words to describe them. Something about a divide, monsters and humans not getting along, and how interactions were complex and tense. At some point, a truce had been made, and those who sought peace sided with the humans—sometimes reluctantly.

Yet somehow, it was still strange to her. If the monsters were trying to get along with humans, why was Papa was so insistent on her staying away from them?

Weren't they all equal?

"Ah, 'scuse me, 'scuse me, just gotta talk to the conductor," said a man from the back of the mob. Sunny caught one of his long arms over the shoulder of a minotaur. "Hey, buddy. I need to get over there. Mind movin'?" The minotaur grunted and moved to one side. "Hey, thanks!" A man, someone younger than the usual fare, snaked his way through the crowd and approached the door to the next caboose—the conductor's room.

The man jiggled the lock, sighing. "Ah, fuck," he whispered under his breath.

"You should watch your language," Sunny said. She would have never dared to say such a thing to a monster. But she knew what she could get away with when it came to humans.

"Oh, crap! Sorry, you weren't supposed to hear that," the man chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"You shouldn't interrupt the conductor either. My dad will get mad at you."

"Nah, he knows me!" the man said, waving his hand through the air. He jiggled the door a second time, and Sunny grew more irritated.

"Be patient! Wait on the caboose with everyone else!" Sunny said. Patience was a virtue. Did this man not know that? He looked older than her, so he should know better.

"You're the conductor's daughter?" He blinked. "Huh, I guess that makes a little more sense why you looked so familiar."

The door to the other caboose opened abruptly, and an irritated Papa stuck his head through. "Ren, you're pushing me," Papa warned.

Ren put both his hands up. "Hey, man, you know how it goes! We do this all the time!"

Papa sighed. "Two and a half hours. Now sit your—" Papa stopped, catching Sunny from the corner of his eye. "Sit your butt down, sir."

Ren clicked his tongue twice and flashed a toothy smile before taking the nearest booth by the door. He leaned against the windowsill on his elbow, tapping his foot to some unheard beat.

What a strange man.

---

In the years that followed, Sunny became more and more comfortable with monsters. They may have looked strange, but somewhere in Sunny's heart, she hoped the tense relations between humans and monsters would ease. She kept to Papa's rule of thumb, avoiding them whenever possible. But so long as she was calm, patient, and quiet, nothing terrible ever happened.

"I won't be gone for more than a couple days, three tops," Papa said on his way out the door. Sunny had grown tired of constantly moving around, urging Papa to take more time off so they could be a family at home. For the most part, he had kept his promise. Although, he was still a victim of trips like this one from time to time.

"You said that last time," Sunny whined. "You were gone for almost a week. I had to ask the neighbors for sugar and flour."

Papa averted his gaze. His eyes looked heavy, his expression complicated. "I know, sweetheart. I'll make it up to you. I promise."

His promises had been harder to keep as of recent. Sunny had her doubts.

"Okay."

With his hand on the doorknob, the conductor removed his cap and whipped it through the air before extending it toward his daughter. "Here, sweetheart. A small going away present."

Sunny's eyes lit up. Before Papa could change his mind, she snatched the hat away, marveling at it as if it was made of gold. "Really? Truly?"

"Yes," he said, nodding. "It's yours now, sunshine."

"Thank you, thank you!"

"Want to come with me to the train station?"

"Yes!"

It had been a few months since she had last embarked on a train. The crowd was bustling more than Sunny had seen in some time. As she passed by the cabooses, her eye caught the strange man her father talked to from time to time. Ren was bobbing his head side to side, forward and back. Occasionally he would snap his fingers and move his lips to some unknown tune. Sunny had grown to like him, even if he was a bit strange. He was one of the few people she could count on to see every once in a while.

Ren stopped when he saw her. He mouthed something to her, but since the windows were shut, she couldn't hear him. She put a hand to her ear and shook her head.

Ren smirked and ran the tips of his fingers down his tongue. Sunny frowned, watching as Ren drew smiley face after smiley face on the glass of every empty seat's window. The glass squeaked with his movements, and soon a giggle escaped Sunny's lips. He had drawn as many as seven smiley faces before Sunny's father called her over. Ren waved to Sunny as she left, returning to the private DJ session in his head.

Sunny held on to the cap as she ran to her father. Unlike the years prior, her head fit into it now. That was, as long as she adjusted the back a bit.

"Well, I'm out of here, sunshine," Papa said, kneeling on one knee. "Be a good girl for me, okay? You can always ask our neighbors if you need anything."

Sunny nodded. "I know! I'll be good!"

Papa kissed her forehead and entered the train.

That was the last time she ever saw him.

---

One week passed.

Two weeks passed.

Soon, it had been three weeks since Sunny last heard from Papa. While waiting, Sunny had taken the opportunity to stitch black ears onto her father's conductor cap.

"Who's that cutie?" Sunny would say whenever she caught herself in the mirror wearing it.

One day, a knock came at the door. "Sunniva, dear? Dear, please open the door." It was the neighbor lady, Jemimah.

Sunny fiddled with her fingertips before cracking open the door. "Yes?"

The woman wiped away a tear. "Hey, honey. Have you… have you heard about your father?"

Sunny frowned. "No. Is he coming home soon?"

Jemimah bit her bottom lip. "I'm sorry, dear. He… he was in an accident." The woman closed her eyes and sucked in her lips. "He's no longer with us."

Sunny slammed the door shut. No, that was impossible. How could she say such a thing? Did she not know when a joke had gone too far?

Or was she telling the truth?

---

A few days later, someone else was knocking. Sunny slowly opened the door, only for a shoe to wedge itself between the door and the frame.

"Excuse me, miss." The man pushed the door open. "You're Sunniva Icarus, Daughter of Cassidy Icarus, are you not?"

"My name is Wesley, I'm a representative from Child Protective Services (CPS). Can you please come with us?"

Sunny's lips trembled. Who was this man?

Another man appeared beside him, each wearing a black suit and red tie. They wore scowls as they observed her.

"Hey, what's going on here?" another voice asked from behind them. Sunny looked past the men to see someone she recognized—Ren. "You here to take her away?"

"Young man, this doesn't concern you," said the CPS rep.

"Like hell, it doesn't. I'm her cousin!"

The man frowned. "Cousin? So you and her are—"

"Yeah, cousins. So back the fuck off. Who do you think has been taking care of her, while her pops was away?" Ren closed the distance slowly, his hands in his pockets.

"We were told—"

"Fuck what you were told." He gestured with a flick of his head. "Get the hell outta here."

The men mumbled. "Sorry to inconvenience you."

As soon as the men were out of earshot, Ren approached the front door. "Hey, dork. You okay?" It was no good. Sunny could no longer hold it in. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she fell to her knees. Ren gasped and kneeled with his hand extended. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's wrong?"

"Papa… Papa!"

"Papa?" Ren glanced where he saw the men in suits go. His eyes widened. "Oh no," he said in a hushed voice. "It must've been the stop right after mine."

"Papa's gone! He left me! He left me!"

"Shhh, shhh," Ren said, putting his hand on her head. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay. Let it out. It'll all be okay."

"They're… they're going to take me away now," Sunny whined. "I'm going to be stuck in some orphanage! Nobody's going to love me anymore!"

Sunny continued to sob while Ren ran his hand against her head. The minutes continued like this for some time. When Sunny looked up, she could see Ren's eyes glazing over. Did this hurt him too?

"Hey, look… I know I ain't your pops, but… you could come stay with me and my sister for a while." He massaged the back of his neck. "It's not a super great place for a kid, but we got food and, ah, well. How 'bout it?"

How sudden.

Sunny's gaze traveled downward as she allowed the remnants of her tears to plummet to the soil. Slowly, she nodded her head. Ren stood up, offering her a hand.

"Better hurry," Ren said as Sunny took his hand. "The suits are gonna find out one way or another that I lied." He smirked, though, to Sunny, it looked forced. "Sooner we get outta here, the better."

Ren turned and tugged on her hand.

"Wait," Sunny said, letting go.

"What?"

Sunny ran through the hall, up the stairs, and into her bedroom, where her greatest treasure awaited. On her study desk was the cap she so dearly treasured. Snatching it off the top, she slipped it on and left the room. With her hand on the door handle, she took one last look at her room, capturing it like a photograph in her mind.

She would never see it like this again.