CHAPTER 4

Lunalo is not my biological daughter, her father father cheated on me with a lady ge met at the bar it was just a one night stand.

I then told him to take her to come and live with us to avoid paying maintenance to that Lunalo's mother she is an alcoholic so If we give her money she will drink it and not take care of a child so we are doing a favour for this stupid child of here's and her.

this is all the information that Lunalo heard...

Oh my God this is not my mother,tears rolled down her face..I cannot believe this happening to me.

all the questions she kept asking herself when her mother treated her in a way she didn't understand are just answered in 3 seconds.

she wanted to scream and release the pain she was feeling but she thought mom told me to never listen to any conversation that is between adults.

I am going to act as if I heard nothing.

she stayed outside wiping her tears so that she will go inside.

and she's talking alone...oh my God how can you let me go through this pain I don't feel your presence at all,do you love me Jesus?I'm just a child God why are you letting me go through this alone?

I'm so in pain Jesus

I don't wanna insult you but I am hurt.

I don't wanna stop trusting you but am so hurt God.

I don't refuse to acknowledge your goodness but at this point I am so confused.

I don't know how I am going to deal with that woman whom I just found out now that she is not my mother all these year I have been thinking that she is my mom but now..now God how am I going to act around her now that I know this I am so in pain.

please show me your face Father she said that little prayer as she is trying to put a kind face so that her mom doesn't suspect she heard them.

she tried to smile, she looked at her plant and said I wish I was you I would be feeling no pain now she touched it and stood up and take few steps to the house.

Of mom asks me about my weird face I will tell her its because I am sick.

The door was wide open she entered with a smile on her face

Hey mom and aunty Sadi..they both replied hey what are you doing at home at this time are you suspendedin school?

No mom I was not feeling well my class teacher told me to go home and ask you to take me to the clinic,she replied.

what's wrong? asked her mom

I fainted I don't know I was very dizzy on my way to school.

No it is the sun but I thought you how to take care of yourself because I won't go all the way to that clinic you are old enough to take care of yourself.

she went outside to search for an aloe vera that is what she was told by her mom to drink whenever she feels sick.

she came back with it and mix it with cinnamon and she drank it.

Her mom said rest for ten minutes and then go fetch your sister in school you are not that sick.

ok mom she replied..

she took her library card and her mp3 and went to fetch her sister.

she is also not allowed to pass by the library unless she is taking her sister there too.

so she takes her sister with her and give her children books and because she left early at school,she went to the library to meet up with some of her classmates to ask if they were given any homework.

they gave her page number of their homework and she decided to sit and do it at the library.

then they walked home after.

when she gets home she asks her mom what to cook and she started chopping vegetables.

in her mind she is still confused.

Events are replaying in her head she recalls everything her mom said and she started asking herself questions while she us cooking. so if this is not my mom where is my mother?

how does she looks like?

Is she even searching for me?

I wonder..

when she is done cooking she dished up for everyone and said to her mom I am going to my room I have a lot of school work she then left to her room.

she didn't eat reason being her grandmother(her father's mother)is a preacher she lives in thr rural areas that are very far from them once told her that when she is confused about anything she must always abstain from some food or drink and pray she then went to her without eating anything and closed the door and took out her diary and marked 7 days of her fasting starting from that day it was Monday.

I want to keep today's prayer short and meaningful.

Dear God

today i heard something that changes my life forever please don't allow the situation to steal my concentration,education is my only hope now.

I feel so disappointed by everyone, my Father,my grandmother she is a preacher how can she be a part of this secret, my cousin's If they are part of this too.

give me strength to continue being this humble daughter no matter what it is very painful but I know you are with me always

Amen.

and then she went to bad crying.

The next morning she decided to join debate in school.

on Friday that week she went to represent her school in a district where there were 20 schools competing there she did not prepare for the competition because at home she is not allowed to use a light for more than an hour her mom always tell her she is wasting an electricity.

so its either she does her homework after school in class or at the library when she fetches her younger half sister.

The competition started a topic was Homework should be banned ahe was on that team.

She argued that many parents cannot help with every activity,teachers fail to explain the task that must be done to learners, some learners have a lot of things to do when they go home, cooking and looking after their siblings,she also mentioned that homework introduce learners to copying and that homework causes stress and depression because of lack of sleep that is why she believes that homework should be banned.

And the opposite team argued Homework should not be banned because it help children to be able to work independently, it prepare their research skills,it helps them to take responsibility