17

Nicky wanted to speak, but Crystal wouldn't let him. She had experienced one of the most appalling and incredible moments of her life during that memorable evening, and although it was her fault for standing there waiting and listening to her former lover's complaints, she wasn't ready to hear what this person had to say to her, she wouldn't stand for it, no matter how good or bad it was, so she said the only words that would be able to stop her in her tracks. She was unfair, frighteningly unfair and wrong, but she couldn't stop her words, she couldn't stop herself. She didn't want him to speak. She didn't want him to talk to her, she cried. And above all, she wanted to hurt him.

"You're nothing but a murderer."

His expression after she'd said that, and after the shock had worn off, was intolerable. Even more intolerable than the violence she'd witnessed a few moments earlier, even more so than the killing of those damned bandits. She was right, she was as bad as them, if not worse.

She didn't wait for him to reply, if he had ever intended to. She turned on her heel and left, followed by her fiancé, who was also stunned by what she had just said to her former lover.

"Crystal." called Nathan, but the latter only shook her head.

"Please, not now. Please."

***

That night, when they finally arrived at their apartment as if they'd left it a century ago, for the first time, the couple remained in silence, Crystal not wishing to speak at all, but only to shower, go to bed and sleep, and Nathan, simply afraid to break the silence his fiancée imposed on him. She refused to take a shower with him. She stayed there for a long time, first with her dress on, then without, as if to cleanse herself of any defilement, then she dried her hair, and finally went to bed. When Nathan joined her, she was not yet asleep, and made no attempt to fall asleep.

She just lay there on her side, eyes wide open. Nathan did the same. The young woman must have fallen asleep at some point, for she was soon plunged into a dream, one she had expected and which was nightmarish, at least from the dreamer's point of view. She found herself the prisoner of a gang of criminals who wanted her body and her money. She struggled to escape, screaming and crying to get away. She was in a bad way. But at no time did she feel fear, despite the gravity of the danger she was in, she knew he would come. He would come to save her. Maybe he'd do it by killing all those men and leaving their corpses to rot in the open air, but he'd do it. And he'd do it with that expression of frightful coldness on his handsome face, betraying no doubt or hesitation in executing a living being like himself and thus putting an end to their life once and for all.

Crystal would never be able to do it, nor Leonie, nor Ronnie, nor Nathan, her wonderful, beloved Nathan, but Nicky did it without fail, without backing down and without the slightest compassion.

He had saved all their lives, and hers more than anyone else's, since one of these criminals clearly intended to rape her before killing her, but the way he did it was nonetheless questionable, even reprehensible. The question was, did Crystal condemn him?

Nathan would surely ask her that question. It was inevitable. For him to do so was of little interest, but she, Crystal, who had once been his fiancée, and who had meant so much to him, her answer to him was of paramount importance.

As she drifted again, tirelessly in the meanders of her dream, letting herself be saved by him she knew she would be, she realized that he had never revealed to her that he had a brother, let alone a twin. Of course, she'd tried to find out about his family a few times, but he'd never told her anything, almost nothing. She didn't know if his parents were still alive, if he had any brothers or sisters besides Ronald, if he'd always been able to fight or if it was only recent, if he'd ever killed anyone when they were still together. So many questions and no answers.

The next day, the couple had breakfast at ten in the morning, coffee, fresh juice, scone and jam with omelet. They sat in the kitchen as usual, but the atmosphere was completely different. The silence was present, oppressive, tangible, unbearable. It was Nathan, of course, who finally broke the silence. He couldn't stand it any longer. Placing his cup back down firmly on the white wooden table, he cried out.

"All right! I've had enough!"

Crystal was startled and raised her head to look at him. The young man wore an angry expression, but also an air of determination. He continued,

"I know what we went through yesterday was extraordinary, not to say terrible, and undoubtedly indelible, but I refuse to be so affected by it. And you shouldn't let yourself be, either."

This time, Crystal gave a bitterly mocking laugh.

"You've got to be kidding! Don't be affected. Don't let it affect you. But that's simply impossible. We're only human. We almost died last night! We were taken hostage, I was almost raped and killed, and you were only killed. But in the end, the result was the same. So stopping yourself from being affected by it, it's just not an option!"

Nathan listened to her with exemplary patience given the bubbling of emotion he seemed to be falling prey to.

"I concede, we'd been through all that last night!"