CLIENT REPLACEMENT

"You've chosen a slippery slope to climb, youngin," a cackling voice—weirdly gruff—reached Lirzod's ears, but he couldn't locate its source. With all rooms locked, the four streets seemed unpeopled, except for the presence of those two.

"Who's there?" Lirzod called out, stomping his foot on the locally not-so-dusty wooden floor.

"Run. Run like a river[1]!" Hundred commenced to run and forced Lirzod to rush with him.

"You said, Stone Spitters, but I don't see anybody," Lirzod questioned, already panting a little, even though they haven't yet taken ten steps together.

"Look at the floor ahead," Hundred's focus fully shifted toward reaching the end of the street. "They are critters smaller than the size of our fists."

Surprised upon hearing the words, Lirzod stared at the floor. Dozens of tiny rock-like beings, shaped like a smooth cone, hopping on the ground, and they didn't remind Lirzod of the ice creams he used to buy for Duera when he was a kid, but surely reminded him of some sort of crap. "What the heck are those?" Lirzod watched them with an incredulous stare. "How are they moving around?" Goosebumps took over his body.

They seemed to lack limbs or eyes or nose but had one striking thing—their mouth—which changed in its shape and size in an awful lot ways. Some of their mouths appeared like that of a shark's teeth, while some others seemed more human, simple and plain. It was too obvious for Lirzod to not reckon that the pointy teeth were for digging into things, and the plain shape was to grind things out.

"We can worry about their details afterward," Hundred said, getting to Lirzod's front. "I don't seem to be included in their target list. Just stay behind me until we cross them. Also, watch out for the ones that might come from behind."

Lirzod nodded, though he didn't exactly get what was going on. He glanced back once to see if he could find similar beings behind him but didn't see any of them.

Beholding the approaching couple of young fellows, the tiny beings were amused but also appeared to be bemused.

"Why are you coming in our way, hollow?" one of the Stone Spitters cackled and spat something out of his mouth, which didn't go straight toward Hundred but instead hit the ceiling, bounced off it in a blistering speed and directed down toward Lirzod, who openly stared at it, but before it pitched at him, Hundred managed to kick Lirzod away, resulting in that stone striking the floor, thereby assembling an exquisite noise. Though it didn't form a hole, it still left a petty mark.

In the time Lirzod's body was coming to a halt from the push generated by Hundred's kick, more than ten of the Stone Spitters shot stones through their mouths, which ricocheted off the walls and the ceiling before ending up striking Lirzod at many spots.

The raining blows, each of which felt no less powerful than a human punch, brought into existence a bellow birthed through affliction and indignation.

"Hehe," seeing Lirzod howl, two of the shadows watching the ongoing event from the end of the street were enlivened. One was Bilka, and the other was the pointy-nosed guy.

"Look at them. They're doing a better job than we thought," the pointy-nosed man's body shook with excitement, and he was totally into watching the unfolding scene.

Natheless, Bilka's smile looked to be tight. "We are broke as a joke now. All of it was to beat some barmy boy. Was it that necessary, Pilli?"

"What are you saying?" the glow on Pilli's face subsided, and stress marks arose on his forehead. "Because of that bastard, Geragorn kicked us away."

"Well, in a way, it's good for us, don't you think? We couldn't have gotten out of that group even if we wanted to. Now, some of our months were definitely saved."

"Hmph, why are we discussing this right now? Did you forget that he humiliated you in the hall?"

"That's right, too," Bilka's breath paused.

"Just enjoy the show, buddy."

The two of them resumed watching the event with their whole bodies hidden behind a wall, except for their heads.

Their eyes sparkled as they witnessed Lirzod get ill-treated.

Though blood didn't leak out, the bruises were still visible at most of the spots where the stones hit Lirzod's skin directly. If he were to say that he didn't feel a twinge at various places on his body, it would mean he was putting up a front. "You poop look-alikes, just what's your problem?" he roared.

The Stone Spitters just laughed it off and approached closer in a cute fashion. "We don't beat around the bush. We are here to fudge you up."

"Yeah. Fudge you up. Fudge you up," the other Stone Spitters also voiced in their views.

If anyone who didn't know them, were to see their motion, they would probably think that the Stone Spitters were dolls and would want to take one or more for themselves. Having said that, their smile still got on Lirzod's nerves.

"You fudge faces…" He ground his teeth and uttered in a strained voice, clenching his fists tight.

Hundred stepped closer to Lirzod and whispered, "Don't badmouth them, and give them another reason to hurt you."

"Why should I?" Lirzod knitted his brows, irritated like an open wound. "They are the ones who are picking a fight with me."

"I know that they are full of shit," Hundred spoke in a low voice again, "but, just stay silent. I will handle this." He stood in front of Lirzod once more, but this time, he was a bit too close that the scent of his sweat made Lirzod blow his nose in discomfort. However, Hundred was totally unaware of Lirzod's situation as his focus was on the ones ahead of him but not on the one behind him. Lirzod, however, silently took a step back. "If you all don't stop, I will make a big stink out of this incident."

The forwarding of the Stone Spitters stopped slowly but surely, and all of their mouths flattened, though not for long.

Hundred found it hard to believe that his words worked. He knew that the Stone Spitters didn't want to create an unnecessary commotion, so they almost always chose empty streets to take care of their targets.

"Don't come in between us," one of the Stone Spitters barked. "We must bring home the bacon for us to survive."

"Brothers from other mothers, sisters from other misters," Hundred said, without expecting any reply. "H-How much money did your client offer?"

"Who are you calling brothers and sisters, human?" one of them furiously shouted.

"Trying to throw air biscuits at us, are you?" another Stone Spitter rebuked. "We won't reveal our client's information. And if you don't get lost, things won't end well for you."

"I'm being honest," Hundred persuaded. "I'm not the kind who'd give a bum steer to anybody." (Well, at least not without reason.) "What should I offer for you all to stop?"

"Kekeke, a hollow from the tenth deck thinks he can bribe us," one of the Stone Spitters burst out into freaky laughter. "This isn't even a joke, though it made me laugh, kekeke."

"Why don't you all try me?" Hundred sounded somewhat confident, though Lirzod was still giving icy stares at them.

"What's your name anyway, hollow?" one of the Stone Spitters asked.

"Hundred."

"So, you've been here long enough."

Hundred slightly nodded.

The Stone Spitters in the three other streets stayed where they were, seeing which Hundred understood that they were more inclined to block off their path instead of attacking them from both directions.

"This poor bugger is innocent," Hundred still tried to talk into changing their minds.

"If you don't buzz off in the next five seconds," another Stone Spitter said in a flat voice, "don't blame us if we also fill you with holes."

Hundred looked a bit sullen, however, on the inside, spleen smoldered in his stomach. (These little bastards are taking this too far.)

"Two more seconds left, boss," another Stone Spitter said, making others titter, all the while they bounced off their bottoms again and again.

If Hundred could be said to be hassled by the Stone Spitters, then Lirzod was even more so, albeit the sable blackness on his face wasn't as plain as a pikestaff.

Brassed off by their interaction, Bilka and especially Pilli clenched their jaws.

"Why are you all booty-chattering with him?" unable to contain his annoyance anymore, Pilli hollered at the top of his lungs. "Shoot him. Shoot him hard. Shoot him till he bloody pisses[2]!"

"Mm?" both Hundred and Lirzod turned back and caught a glimpse of Pilli's face as it got pulled behind the wall.

"Fool!" Bilka rapped Pilli's head with his knuckle. "What have you done?"

"Oww," Pilli bit his tongue in startlement. "You think they have seen us?"

"God only knows!" Bilka yelled in anger, akin to freezing rain. It was pleasing to the eyes only. "I warned you not to follow them, but you also dragged me here, saying that witnessing makes everything worthwhile. Now, you made everything worthless!"

Meanwhile, Lirzod and Hundred looked at each other's faces to reinforce their belief on what they just glimpsed.

"That bonehead is such a dingus!" A Stone Spitter spat a stone randomly into the air, which then bounced off the walls and ended up at a random spot, "These clients that have bones in them can never stay calm, can they?"

All the Stone Spitters stopped, their expressions as clear as mud.

"What should we do?"

"If we proceed even after the client is known, we might get dragged into their complicacies. It's in our interests to turn back."

They all didn't turn but simply bounced in the opposite way, including the ones in the other streets.

"Whew," Hundred breathed a sigh of relief.

"Wait," Lirzod walked past Hundred and stomped on the ground, making the Stone Spitters stop. "You think you all can just come and do whatever you want and then leave like nothing happened?" His mouth was a diamond blade in action, for it cast keen words that cut through the wind as they traversed. "You think I'm your father-in-law, or what?" Fury throbbed his heart, and he felt prickly sensations all over.

Hundred's jaw had long slackened. "Hey, what are you—" he tried to stop Lirzod, but his hand got pushed away.

"You all wet yourself with excitement from spitting at me," Lirzod coldly said, albeit his blood was in a seething pain, and his face paled from rage, "but then what about my excitement?"

"Watch it, human boy," one of the Stone Spitters snorted. "Who do you think you are?"

"Now, don't misunderstand me," Lirzod's angry-face quickly showered a smile. "I didn't mean that I'll be spitting on you all. I just meant that I can forget everything if you spit on your client, or maybe clients for spoiling your mission. Then we'll all be back to ground zero."

"You sure have the effrontery to put forth your schemes, but why would we do your bidding?" a Stone Spitter couldn't help but ask, his voice replete with hauteur.

Lirzod's smile appeared stiff. (So they are not at all guilty, huh. Then…) "Not for free, of course. My man Hundred has a full kilo of food to offer you."

Goosebumps greeted Hundred's flesh and bones, thoroughly locking his knees.

"One kilo?" one of the Stone Spitters felt offended. "Not enough to feed even a quarter of our numbers."

Lirzod smiled inwardly from knowing they were okay to deal with. "If it was ordinary food, then yes, but we are talking about an entire kilo of rich Delis Almonds."

Almonds? The word alone shifted all their focus to Lirzod.

"We know about almonds, but what are these Delis almonds? What's so special about them?"

"Are they even special?"

"Very special indeed," Lirzod was like a smiling doll, the waves of white subtly stamping his smile. "Delis almonds are the wildly addictive nuts that we willingly wolf down. Packed with noted amounts of nutrients, from high-quality proteins and vitamins to fiber and minerals, they keep you healthy and are especially good for your gut." His mellifluous words were honeyed enough to take all the listeners into daydreams that presented themselves pootling in the almond plantations. His voice wasn't loud but was still taken in by the Stone Spitters in the other streets. "Watered thrice a week as they are grown in the mid-summer, their shells basking in the sultry sunlight until the vehement winds of the late summer shake the trees and force the hulls open, dropping down countless auburn almonds that communicate through their aroma and captivate all instincts through their allure."

All the Stone Spitters watched him without saying a word, and his manner of speaking manufactured mud in their mouths, for mud was their spittle. Seeing them drool mud out of their mouths, Lirzod smiled inwardly, but what he didn't know was that Hundred was drooling on his behind as well, having briefly forgotten that he had already tasted those almonds.

Meanwhile, Bilka and Pilli tried to have a peak again, and they didn't see something they can look on with favor.

"What the heck are they still talking about?" Pilli could barely contain his excitement and exasperation, both of which were on the verge of overflowing out of his heart. "I paid them to beat the shit out of him, not to have a group discussion with him!"

"As I thought, it was a mistake hiring those shitty Stone Spitters," Bilka's resentment was at an even higher level. He grabbed Pilli's throat firmly and began to choke him. "Give me my money back, you gumby son of a gorilla, or I swear I'll pinch the parrot nose out of you this time."

Pilli was enraged. "I told you to… not call me that!" he barely managed to speak as he tried to get out of the ghastly grip.

At that moment, they heard the bouncing sounds coming from three directions, which took them a few seconds of blank stares at each other to discern.

"Mm?" when they both were struggling on the ground, they looked in different directions, only to see Stone Spitters coming in their direction.

"Why are they coming to us when they haven't taken care of the Scarface?" Pilli was puzzled.

Bilka ground his teeth and seemed to realize that something was wrong.

"I'm getting a bad feeling about this," Pilli's eyes contained worry and doubt.

His words only frustrated Bilka more. Both of them stood and put their feet to work in haste.

One of the Stone Spitters increased his speed and reached them in no time, scaring the living daylights out of those two. "The client has been replaced," the Stone Spitter said while in midair, wearing a broad smile on his face, for a Stone Spitter was able to talk in such a way, which was just one in many of their whimsical ways.

ZUP~!

A stone scraped through Bilka's cheek and hit Pilli's jaw. The aching of the bone made him howl. Before the tone of his voice could come down, one after another, stones pierced his butt like they were never going to end, all of which drove him to a deviant dance while bawling like a beaten calf.

Lirzod made a rosy face, his eyes shining better than the stars. "Shoot 'em. Shoot 'em hard. Shoot 'em up till they bloody piss!"

His words struck them hard. They knew he was doing it on purpose. From out of their hearts and up into their faces rose regret, which rankled their reasoning and gnawed at their souls. Like a devil in disguise, it sat on their shoulders and whispered wacky things, producing pangs that weighed them down like never before.

"At least tell us why you are attacking us!" Bilka hollered, clutching his butt, his face warped into a grotesquerie. "What did he offer you all?"

"One kilo of almonds," the reply from one of the Stone Spitters was akin to a slew of arrows piercing his stomach. It pained a lot more than his butt did.

"Almonds?" Bilka couldn't believe his ears. "Just a kilo? I can give you ten kilos!" (Though I don't have the money right now. But these things don't know that!)

"Are the almonds grown in the mid-summer and watered thrice a week?" another Stone Spitter asked, wearing a smiley face.

"Huh?" Bilka was downright disconcerted, grimacing at the vague words. "What?"

"Guess not." They continued spitting at their rear ends, not letting them speak anymore. Even in that pain, Bilka grabbed hold of Pilli's hair and tried to rip it out, but he didn't succeed.

As if Bilka's onslaught wasn't enough, a Stone Spitter's voice eerily echoed in his ears. "I like your nose. Can I attach it to my face?" the next second, the Stone Spitter bit his nose, making him howl harder than a wolf.

Both of them got ganged upon by dozens of the miniature beings that seemed to know not the meaning of mercy. Every action of each of those Stone Spitters drove them both crazy. Their group struggle made the dust on the ground dance in the wind.

The men's butts literally bled, and their howls were throughout the heating-up street. Above all, Pill's butt burned hotter than the surface of the sun.

"C'mon, take us to your place!" some Stone Spitters gathered around Hundred and pulled him away from Lirzod.

"Hey, help me!" Hundred called out loud, making fluttery hand movements.

Lirzod took out the last few of the almonds left in his pocket. One of those almonds seemed out of color. "Not all nuts are nice. Numb-nuts must be left in the lurch." He tossed them all toward his mouth, and all of them except for the discolored one ended up in his mouth. The discolored one, however, hit his lower lip and fell to the floor.

"Are you calling me a numb-nut?" Hundred was piqued by his words but had no time to say another word as the Stone Spitters pushed him down to the ground and got under him, before carrying him away like ants would carry their food.

Lirzod turned and muttered under his breath as he walked away. "I was talking about those poopy things, the fudge faces."

His words weren't loud enough to be heard by anybody other than himself. One by one, the almonds in his mouth got crushed betwixt his teeth, while his ears made sense out of the melancholic melody of the two men having a hard time.

----------------------------------------------------------

[1] Run like a river: An esteemed idiom in the East which means that one must flow forward and not resile as they keep the terrain in mind and take the route of minimal resistance to reach the destination.

[2] Bloody Piss: It was a saying originated from the Murata Kingdom where tied up or hanged traitors were severely punished by stone-throwing until they piss blood. It wasn't meant to be taken literally, but over time, the phrase was misused often enough that it was now used in various circumstances. So, Bloody Piss originally meant the state achieved after beating someone till their clothes get stained by blood and it appears that the traitor sort of pissed blood. Nowadays, people often targeted private parts.