Sleepless Dreamer (3)

[Awakening Aspect Ability…]

Hope felt his heart skip a beat. 

What will happen when he gets an invaluable ability? What if it was so useful for the front lines that they'd work him to death? Or maybe so useless that they'd move him to a different company? He didn't mind the missions he took on. But he did feel picky sometimes.

[Aspect Ability acquired.]

Hope froze in place. He felt the palms of his hands sweat.

[Aspect Ability Name: Touch of Solace]

Hope quickly summoned the description.

Aspect Ability Description: [Your touch makes other souls fall into slumber.]

'Touch of Solace?'

Hope paused as he stared at his Aspect's ability name. He guessed it would make sense if connected to his Aspect's description.

But a power that requires touch for it to work…

Did that mean any soul was subjected to his touch? Not only humans, but beasts as well? Was it guaranteed that they'd all be affected by it?

Surely it was not that powerful. He would probably have to harvest power from soul shards before it takes effect against beasts ranks above him. He also would have to be in very close combat, which was not his thing anymore. The fight with the Awakened Demon was a desperate move, and Hope hopes to avoid being in a position like that again.

'I won't have a lot of reasons to use it then.' He thought nonchalantly.

Hope paused and read the description again.

Then he went back to his Aspect's description and read the last line.

Aspect Description: [...you offer other souls the solace you cannot have but also should not seek].

Hope blinked. Both are in reference to 'other souls.' His ability was described to take into effect against others but not himself. Well, it would be weird to force himself to sleep. But it also mentioned 'should not seek.' What did that mean? Was it bad for him to seek solace? To rest? Or to sleep? Was there more meaning behind those words?

"Hmm..." Hope tilted his head.

If he recalled correctly, people had weird tendencies of connecting words together that were similar yet different to each other. Maybe it applied to this as well.

Although, Hope struggled from time to time in understanding some of the phrases people used.

Such as 'time is money.' In all honesty, Hope didn't know much the value about money. Not that he never lacked it growing up, but not that he was greedy for it either. If one could survive then that was enough, right?

Or the saying like 'rage is like a storm.' That made more sense. A storm was an intimidating thing to face in the sky. Although, Hope would worry if a person truly exploded in fury. He had seen that type of fury only in a Nightmare Creature.

'Hmm let's see... And beauty is like-'

Hope paused.

He didn't know what to compare that to.

Hope dismissed that thought. 'Therefore, sleep is like-'

"..."

He didn't know that one either...

'What the hell is sleep like?'

No. Hope did know. He felt himself stiffen at the thought.

Death.

"..."

A stunned silence filled the space for a few moments. But then Hope frowned. 'That can't be it. It's not that serious.'

Immediately he shut down that thought.

Hope didn't want to think too much of it. He felt like he would have to discover more things revolving around that idea and he was not willing to go through that journey.

Hope decided to move on and summoned his whole character profile.

Name: Hope

True Name: —

"..."

Hope's eyebrow twitched. 'Damn Spell...'

Now that Hope was looking at it, there were a set of runes in its place. However, they were not translated by the Spell. Almost as if the Spell did not know how to translate it.

Strange.

He was sure he had heard it speak it though.

Recalling back on it, the Spell's voice had sounded faint like a voice fading in the wind. But nothing that he could put into words himself through mouth or thought. Truly unintelligible. 

Hope stared blankly at the runes. Hoping to receive some strange revelation from it or something to trigger an understanding.

But nothing happened.

Just silence.

Hope closed his eyes and tried to take deep breaths again. If he could, he would meet the Spell and break down its domain to demand answers from it. But for now, he holds his peace.

Rank: Dreamer

Soul Core: Dormant

Memories: [Ashen Shield]

Echoes: –

Attributes: [Black Sheep], [Tears of Sorrow], [Chimera].

Aspect: [Harbinger of Sleep]

Aspect Rank: Supreme

Aspect Abilities…

'Wait. Didn't I have [Keeper of Memory]?'

Hope clearly remembered it was an entirely different name, but now it was [Tears of Sorrow]. Was the [Keeper of Memory] attribute something that the body he had possessed already have that was remnant of the new one?

The runes, however, were desaturated from all the other names.

As if the Attribute itself wasn't activated yet. 

But what surprised Hope the most were that the runes in its name were the same runes written back on the cavern floor. Back in that graveyard of bones. Among all those telltale writings.

There were other rune writings too, but these were the most common among them.

'So…' Hope thought. 'After those people obtained it, they saw the Attribute's true name and understood what its true nature really was...'

Maybe that was how rumors spread of it being 'Tears of the Heart God.' Of course, that was all in the past so he shouldn't waste his energy in thinking how things came to be.

But something that would drive them mad after consumption. To either to the point of dying from it or committing suicide...What was this?

As Hope was about to summon its description, the Spell's voice rang.

[All power has a price.]

[You have received a Flaw.]

[Your Flaw is: Distant Memory]

***

As the runes transitioned from his Attributes to his Flaw, Hope's mind went blank as he read the description. 

He didn't know how to react...

Flaw: [Distant Memory]

Flaw Description: [Memories of you are transient.]

"..."

Hope paused as he stared the runes hovering before him.

Then he looked between his Flaw's description and the night sky.

Up. Down. Up. Down...

As if expecting to find the Spell's cosmic self hiding behind those constellations.

Hope's lips pressed together. 'No. No. No. No-'

Hope summoned his [Black Sheep] Attribute and scanned through the runes for specific lines.

[Black Sheep] Attribute Description: [...always against the odds...]

Hope quickly summoned the [Chimera] Attribute-

[Chimera] Attribute Description: [...carry a complex nature about themselves...of promise and peril...]

Hope stepped back and absorbed it all in. Or at least tried to. None of this made sense...

Hope closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

"For. Fuck's. Sake."

'Who is this Spell?!'

Hope groaned as he glared at the runes. 

It may have read simple at first glance, but Hope knew there was something more to it than that.

First, Hope didn't really understand the full context of his Flaw. It said [Distant Memory] so maybe he wasn't entirely forgettable? But if he wasn't, then does it depend on his first impressions then? But with his other Attributes coming into play, although not fully understanding them either, it seemed most likely that his first impressions were close to zero.

Second, what would that make him now as a person living in this world?

Would that make him 'free?' Someone who was free from law, rules, or any moral code?

No. That life didn't sound simple either. Not with his other Attributes coming to play or the need to survive in this tragic world. There were many other factors he would still have to face. Even his Aspect's description foreboded a struggling future.

But Hope didn't want to struggle.

He just wanted to live his life as a simple soldier.

The only other simpler life he knew of was before his enlistment. Which was sitting lazily at a window all day without any problems or obligations thrown in his way. He doubted he would have that sort of life again. The life of a damn normal human being. 

What was the Spell thinking when it picked out these traits?

What are the odds that-

Hope scowled as he stared at the [Black Sheep] Attribute.

"Oh shut up."

'Fuckin [...against the odds] or whatever bull-'

Hope continued cursing in his head. Anyone would have been alarmed if they had read his thoughts aloud. Luckily, there wasn't really anyone who knew that side of him. Except maybe one. But, with his damn flaw-

Hope swiped his hand though the floating runes in the air and dismissed all of the descriptions. 

"Tsk! What about the other Attribute?"

Hope scowled as he summoned the faint runes of the [Tears of Sorrow]. He might as well take all the misfortunes head on. It was omened earlier to be some sort of curse, was it?

'What would this one have? A curse of overflowing empathy?'

[Tears of Sorrow] Attribute Description...

Hope gritted his teeth and braced himself for what was to come next.

It couldn't be that bad, could it?

[Tears of Sorrow] Attribute Description: "The Heart God's endless overseeing of the mortals was one of joy and sadness during their trials. She had seen all things, experienced all things, remembered all things. In her naivety, she pitied their short lives. Shortly after, she gifted them the Water of Life, a remedy to their aging and maladies. In gratitude, they vowed that with every waking breath they shall live for her.

But overtime, they abused her gift and their cruelty ripened. With the help of her companions, as her bitter tears poured out in shame and sorrow, she warned her people: 

'You swore faithfulness to me, and I accept your oath. In commemoration to me, you shall spend an eternal wakefulness with endless reflection on all you remember. No rest, no escape from your relentless march of time and thought.'"

"…"

Hope felt his feet shift beneath him.

That was too much information for one Attribute…

Well, it was a valuable attribute from the goddess but still…

Not only did his [Keeper of Memory] Attribute evolve to this, but it also seemed like some hardcore memory enhancement from the goddess herself. Having a good memory didn't automatically make one smart. At least not for Hope. He wouldn't even consider himself smart. 

Hope reread the description again and felt his nerves begin to shake slightly.

In his Nightmare, the doors were guarded and had a supernatural darkness shrouding it. Did the goddess feel guilty later on after her decision? Did some other gods come into play as well?

The curse that plagued many of those people back in the cavern was from this very Attribute. The thing that absorbed their minds into...insanity.

But also...

Hope felt his heart race as he read the second to last line.

"Spend eternal wakefulness…?"

Did that mean he couldn't sleep? At all? 

If that were true, then that would mean his chances of becoming an Awakened-

Bssssccchhh!

At that same moment, the runes illuminated an ominous glow.

[Your Attribute is now evolving.]

!!!

Suddenly, Hope noticed the veins in his hands brimming with blue through his gloves. In fact, there was a chill tingling throughout his body. As if another part of himself was awakening at the Spell's will.

It was that same small feeling he felt back at the cavern. The rush of cold water, a threatening flame, the shivers of the night, but all of that started to overflow him as if about to break through its surface.

Hope could feel something dark and cold approaching...

...like the touch of death…

The Spell hummed darkly.

[Water has memory.]

And then pain…

"Aaaaaaaagggghhhh!!!"

Hope let out an anguish cry and collapsed onto the dark sea floor.

His head, his eyes, his blood felt not his own. Like something was clawing him from the inside.

He crouched onto the floor, holding his face as if to prevent it from falling apart.

He forced himself to peek through his fingers at his rippling reflection and saw that his eyes were becoming a richer blue. He could feel the [Tears of Sorrow] coursing through his body, from the roots of his head to the soles of his feet. A thousand tiny icy fangs biting into him all at once, the sensation of sores and blisters rippling all over his skin.

It was different from a fire. 

But it was cold. 

So cold that it burned…

Then voices filled his thoughts. Strange voices-

No. Not strange voices.

He did recognize them. 

Voices from all his memories spoke at once.

He could hear them, and he could see them. The voices were so loud that it rattled his brain. Voices that bent and contracted, whispered and screamed in and out of his ear.

The layers continued without end.

A song sung not by one voice, but by millions.

Hope, darling, what do you see out there…?

He hadn't heard that voice in a long time...

Mother.

But even as Hope recognized her voice, there were many more that overlapped hers. 

I could read both of you a bedtime story. Father will come home soon, don't worry-

Hope, to your right!

Wake up, trainee!

Let's meet again when we're both Awakened…

Tell me all the pretty things you have seen today, darling. Can you do that for me, Hope?...As soldiers you do exactly as we tell you. No questions ask…What should we call him, darling? Hope…that's such a fitting name—

'Stop-'

Kreeeeeeiiiiich!...Please help my son! He's still in there I know it! DON'T KILL HIM!!!

...Hope, you take the nest…Bang! Bang! BANG!...Sensors are good. Take the shot…

Do you think we will ever be free?...All units fall back!Why not put a smile on that face?Did you forget me?But we don't have any trees!DoyouthinktheotherQuadrantshaveiteasieronthemselves?

ImmortalFlame!He'salegend!Iwanttogrowupandbelikehimoneday.Whydidyoudoit?!Why!GoddessofSouls.GoddessofMemories.Weneedavictorynomatterhwatittakes.Iunderstandsir.Thepaperworkwillcatchupwithissoon.Wealreadygotluckyoncetoday.CanyouhelpmewiththisproblemNewmissionobjective,TeamLeader

'Please stop…'

ForthegloryofhumanityForthegloryofhumanity!Forthegloryofhumanity!Forthegloryofhumanity!Forthegloryofhumanity!Forthegloryofhumanity!Forthegloryofhumanity!Forthegloryofhumanityandthesalvationofthegods…

Hope was screaming. He was sure of it. He couldn't hear himself screaming. But he was aware of the rawness in his throat that called for help. To who? He didn't know either.

Who would help him.

Too much. Too much…It was becoming too much…

Even when Hope strained his eyes closed, he could see a thousand images, moments he remembered from his lifetime-even the ones that he had long suppressed in the back of his mind-flashing before him.

Emotions so poignant, so moving, so passionate, and so painful that it awfully compressed in his chest.

Although his skin was in agony, he could feel a thousand overwhelming different sensations:

The times when he took his first steps; the times when he sat at his window; the times when he felt the warm summer breeze; the times when he called out his friend's name; the times when he tasted his mother's milk; the times when he smelled burnt corpses; the times when he brushed past his apartment's splintered door frame; the times when he heard the hums of lullabies, the screams of monsters, the first baby cries from his sister; the times when he felt the slap from his brother; the times when he heard his mother's laugh; the times when he could smell the soap in her hair as she slept; the times when he could feel her cold fingers on his face…

Too much.

Too much.

Too much.

It was all too much.

Hope clutched his head and pressed his face onto the floor. 

'Stop stop stop stop stop STOP STOP STOP STOP!!!'

He had to escape. But where? Where would he go?

He vaguely felt himself moving.

Crawling actually.

Forcing himself to move towards the Star that hung high above as if to find some shelter underneath it. His instinct was telling him so.

Slosh- Slosh-

 The waters trembled beneath him; sloshes of waves could be faintly felt as if something was emerging beneath the surface.

Hope would have tried to see what new anomaly had arisen, but as he forced himself to look up everything became distorted.

The sky and sea crumbled.

The whole void shrank.

Then the Spell darkly whispered…A clear voice that broke through the sea of chaos.

[Wake up…]

And finally, everything faded from sight.

***

[Tears of Sorrow has evolved.]

"Gaaak!"

Hope's body convulsed, his eyes shot open, and he immediately clawed the ground in a burst of agony. A chilling iciness slowly swept through him, and he could feel his body shaking in a cold sweat. 

In what felt like an eternity, the pain slowly dissipated. 

Was he finally back?

However, he knew his eyes were open. And yet it was still dark…

'Did I even wake up!?'

What happened again before he fell asleep?

Right. Nightmare Creatures. Horde. Escaping.

Climbing up the rear of the vehicle and then falling off.

Somewhere he must have landed near the trackway or rolled down a slope in some…pit? Strange. He could recall it so vividly now. As if he were falling all over again-

With that thought, Hope suddenly felt pain shoot through his body.

Hope let out an aching groan as he clutched his chest, puzzled at another attack on his body. Was it the Attribute again?!

'Fuck this...' Hope gritted his teeth.

Hope tried to steady his breathing again and calm his mind down.

He had to get out of here.

Wherever the hell 'here' was. 

He blinked several times and smelled something foul filling his nostrils, like something had rotted.

The ground he clawed was mushy beneath his hands. His face was rested on something slimy. And somewhere in the dark, he could also feel something round and solid. Then two hollows in it. That must be his helmet. No. A skull? 

Hope then blindly reached above him and felt several arched bones forming overhead.

He realized he was inside a monster's carcass. 

Raising his gloved hand to his mouth, he ripped it off and touched his face with his bare hand. His fingers traced thick dried grime that stained his face, the monster's blood caking his eyes. He hurriedly tried to peel off as much as he could, scratching himself in the process with his fingernails.

After feeling he got most of it off, Hope turned and scrambled between the chunks of flesh, searching for the monster's flank.

Sqshh. Sqshh.

He dug his fingers into its flesh and roughly pulled what layers he could aside. 

After a little while, light peeked through the monster's hide.

His heart skipped a beat at the sight.

Hope forced his arm in between, pulled his head through first and gasped for fresh air.

The touch of a morning's cold air hugged his face, but a coolness that was more than welcomed than what he had felt earlier. Hope could see the sky slowly starting to light up as if a veil was being lifted.

He shoved his other arm to fit through the gap and then climbed out of the carcass like a babe being born.

He was awake. He was back in the waking world. 

Hope didn't know he would miss this god-forsaken world so much.