Chapter 21: The Wind God's Little Critic

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"Agh, I wonder what's troubling Barbara; she prays every day and now she has a cold!" Venti rubbed his nose, contemplating whether to reveal himself just to stop Barbara from incessantly praying.

"Long live the Anemo Archon, long live the Anemo Archon, long live the Anemo Archon." Suddenly, someone fervently chanted three times within the tavern, causing Venti to sneeze again loudly.

"Achoo!"

"The Mora really disappeared, how miraculous! Oh Lord Barbatos, having received my Mora, please bless me!" A person stared in amazement at their phone, offering unprecedentedly devout prayers.

Venti, taken aback, widened his eyes as he watched the Mora vanish. Internally, he screamed frantically, Which scoundrel is impersonating me to scam Mora? At least share some with me, would ya?!

He hastily approached the individual and asked, puzzled, "Why were you calling out to the God of Wind earlier? Did something happen?"

"You don't know yet? This is recharging my mobile credit!" The person glanced at Venti, giving him a look that suggested he was clueless, like a country bumpkin unfamiliar with modern ways.

"Mobile... What kind of chicken is this, and what does 'recharging' mean? Mobile... Recharge..." Venti murmured, questioning further. As Teyvat's most renowned bard, he couldn't afford any gaps in his knowledge.

"Hahaha... What hand-charging? This is a cell phone!" He pulled out his device and showed it to Venti.

"Is that all? I thought it was some precious treasure. How does this relate to the God of Wind?" Venti sneered dismissively.

"What?! A worthless little box!" The man exclaimed loudly, rising incredulously from his seat. In no time, onlookers gathered around, drawn by the commotion.

"This is the divine gift from the Anemo Archon to the people of Mondstadt. Its features are countless, such as recording, long-distance communication, capturing dynamic images, gaming, reading books..." he continued, listing numerous functions without pausing for breath.

"Heh, and these are just a fraction; even if I stood here for three days and nights without eating or drinking, I couldn't cover all its capabilities."

Some patrons clapped, chiming in with support. With smartphones becoming increasingly popular, those without one often felt intimidated, fearing social exclusion.

However, under their breath, they muttered curses towards the damn smartphone merchant who still hadn't arrived.

Just as Lin Feng was about to step out, he sneezed and rubbed his nose. After hesitating for a moment, he decided, "Nah, forget it. It's too cold; going outside risks catching a chill. Better wait till tomorrow!"

Returning to the topic at hand, the man continued explaining:

"Moreover, when recharging Mora on these phones, you must loudly proclaim 'Hail the Anemo Archon!' before the Mora disappears. What does this signify? Clearly, it shows that the God of Wind approves; otherwise, how could the Mora vanish into thin air?"

The crowd applauded the man's reasoning, ultimately concluding that the cellphones were indeed gifts from the Anemo Archon to his people.

Venti's lips twitched slightly at this absurd logic. Good thing you're not part of the Knights of Favonius. Additionally, shouting "Hail the Anemo Archon!" isn't subtly cursing him with a short lifespan?

"Oh right, I remember now! You're that bard who claimed our Anemo Archon went to Snezhnaya and replaced their Empress' scepter with a Samachurl's staff!" Someone recognized Venti and angrily pointed at him.

"How dare you! The Divine Anemo Archon has always been with us in Mondstadt. There's no way He would do such a despicable act!"

"Indeed! Lord Barbatos is incredibly steady and diligent..."

As people mentioned the Anemo Archon, their praise flowed effortlessly.

"You've never even seen him; how would you know that?" Venti asked with a smile.

"I am a devout follower of Lord Barbatos," the man replied proudly, glancing at Venti. "He appeared to me in a dream and told me he continuously protects Mondstadt."

"But if not for the God of Wind's protection, would you even have the chance to spout such nonsense?" someone retorted angrily, clenching their fists as if ready to strike Venti.

"If it weren't for our lawful society now, I'd surely teach you a lesson, you disrespectful cynic!"

"In ancient Mondstadt, people like you were drowned in pig cages. You should be grateful to Lord Barbatos!" The crowd's condemnation grew louder.

Feeling overwhelmed, Venti hastily left the tavern but gained a newfound appreciation for cell phones. To better protect the citizens of Mondstadt, he decided to purchase one himself.

Moreover, he resolved to track down the source of these phones, determined to find out who was impersonating him without paying taxes - truly despicable!

***

"Traveler, quick, give me your phone! I'm about to die!" Paimon tugged at Lumine's hair, her eyes rolling back dramatically.

"Move aside; don't get hit by the Hilichurls!" Lumine was currently engaged in battle and narrowly dodged a Hilichurl's wooden club with a swift head turn.

However, Paimon, still clinging to Lumine's hair, wasn't so lucky and took a direct hit from the club. Thankfully, as she flew off like a baseball, she released Lumine's hair just in time, sparing Lumine from temporary baldness.

Seeing Paimon's predicament, Lumine rushed to her side. Paimon wobbled unsteadily before taking flight again, now sporting a massive lump on her head.

"Aaaaaah, that hurts, Traveler!" Paimon touched the large bump, bursting into tears instantly. Being struck by such a big club at her young age...

Lumine, however, marveled inwardly at Paimon's resilience, vowing to boil her for even longer next time.

The Hilichurls launched another attack, but Lumine, having completed her mission, scooped up Paimon and sprinted towards Mondstadt.

Their original plan had been to leverage their translation software and politely ask the Hilichurls: "Could we dismantle those two watchtowers quietly without disturbing you? We'll also take away the wood, leaving no mess behind!"

In response, the Hilichurls shouted, "Dabudara..." causing all of them to surround Lumine and Paimon.

The translated message revealed, "There are two idiots here wanting to tear down our watchtowers, hurry and chase them away."

***

Upon entering Mondstadt, Lumine suddenly heard numerous cries of "Long live the Anemo Archon!" She immediately grew cautious. Was there a rebellion brewing in Mondstadt? After all, for gods, declaring "long live" isn't a blessing but rather a curse implying a short lifespan.

"Traveler, quick look! They're placing Mora on their phones, and then something unseen steals them away!" Paimon pointed at one person, chuckling to Lumine.

Lumine observed closely and realized that instead of expressing surprise or dismay, the individual was exclaiming about the divine intervention of the God of Wind.

"Hmm, so many Mora. How can we get our hands on them?" Paimon eyed the glittering coins, contemplating whether to swiftly fly over and snatch them with lightning speed before anyone could react!