SCP Foundation: Working as a janitor in a top secret organization?

Hardships and suffering will never end.

Why do we need to suffer? I asked it once and I claimed an answer. We suffer because we suffer. There is no hidden meaning behind suffering, we just think suffering is suffering because it made us suffer. All we need to do is to bash through that suffering with all our strength.

It's painful, twisting my stomach in different degrees. I can't get it out.

When will my suffering end? It is torturous, it stings, but still… I will persist. Giving up is not an option, it is never been one of my choices. I will fight until the end.

Tears swell into my eyes and I curl my fist, heavily trying to wane the pain existing in my body. My body burns in redness as sweat drenches my body along with the snot and saliva building up in my chin.

"You can do this my precious ass, release the power!!!"

I blurted out loud as I scream in pain inside a public restroom.

What did I do to deserve this? I just ate a hamburger and my stomach doesn't agree with it. Curse you, hamburger man! I will sue you for food poisoning.

"Come on, you can do this. Kame hame haaaa!"

My voice echoes the room and I heard someone shut a door then runs faster than a kangaroo. This is too embarrassing but unless I use all of my power to release this malediction persisting inside my stomach, the pain will never wane.

I bet this torment will be stored inside my most traumatizing memory collection in my head.

"Don't give up Johan, never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and…"

"Wolf, are you here?"

Somebody spoke from the next toilet room. Is he speaking to me? He has a great husky voice, I admire. His voice reminds me of a video game called 'Metal Gear'. I tried to reply to him as a joke.

"Ummm, yeah? Snake?"

A moment has passed in utter silence and awkwardness. Is the joke that bad?

"Good, you remembered our codenames. Any good in this restroom?"

"No… I can't concentrate"

I can't believe he is actually conforming to that joke in a serious tone. I just want to shit boss, I can't shit when you are talking to me. I can't pull out my full force and effort to release the curse inflicted on me.

"Too bad. Listen, witness reports suggested that the most frequent case of butt ghost sightings are—"

"Wait, wait, hold on. Can you repeat what you just said?"

It almost caught me off guard or did I just misheard it. I definitely heard he says butt ghost or something. I almost burst out laughing mad just from the thought.

"What do you mean? The butt ghost?"

"Pfft... BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! You're a funny guy"

What's the deal with the dude from the other side of the world? Butt ghost! HAhahahaha. I can't hold unto the thought that there is a flying transparent butt haunting this place in terror. Good Jesus, it made my day.

"You… You are not Wolf aren't you?"

Why is he suddenly so serious? This is just insane, what kind of delusional Brainiac is this fellow on the other side of the wall. Maybe he also believed in unicorns? Or the bigfoot? But the butt ghost?

"Yo, the fuck you laughing at"

"Eh?"

Did I just hear someone talks? Inside the bowl? Jesus, something is touching behind my butt! I tried to look at what's inside and I saw another butt aside from mine, poking me from butt to butt.

Good god no…

"Umm. Help. P-please help. Somebody… or so-something is talking inside my toilet bowl"

I utter silently towards the man on the other side of the wall.

"Oh, damn it. Listen, kid, don't slide your butt inside the toilet or it will eat your buttocks out."

"I think, it's too late for that. I can't get out."

"Fuck! Don't move, don't provoke it. And pray."

Oh, Jesus! Our father in heaven, holy be thy name. Forgive me and my sins but I still don't want to die. I am young and a virgin. I haven't experienced some romantic shits like in the movies. I haven't deleted my browser history, what if my mother saw it? She might die out of a heart attack.

The thought made me shit, finally. If it is not for my situation, I might celebrate the successful excretion of feces. Oh shit, I shit on the butt ghost!

I heard some grumbling from the toilet bowl like a predator attempting to attack its prey so I tried to talk it out with the butt ghost and calm him down.

"Hi, butt ghost. I'm Johan, what's your name. Nice to meet you"

I smile fervently towards the butt ghost. Kissing each other's butt, he speaks in a manner that races my heart faster than a car engine.

"Is your brain inside your butt too? For me, it's a yes."

Then I saw the vertical slit of the butt become wide open revealing sharp fangs that bite my buttocks, tearing it apart from my legs.

"Aaaghhhhhh!!!"

The pain made me lose consciousness. When I woke up, I am in a different place. Inside a facility named the SCP Foundation.