Not Suicide!
March 10th,
I later got to know that the girl's name was Cassie- Cassandra. I had been feeling this attraction to her, this feeling I just couldn't understand. Why I suddenly took interest in her, I don't know...
But I prayed for her and each time I did, I felt this burden for her. I felt a looming danger but all I could do was pray, hope and pray again. Yesterday, I didn't see any more notes in my locker and I felt relief and suspicious.
Why?
Today, I figured something unbelievable. Tony brought out a note at lunch and showed it to the rest of us. The writer was anonymous- well I expected that, after reading the its contents.
"Wow...looks like this person's going through a lot! This is so sad. Any clue about who could've dropped it there, Tony?" Lissa asked as Tony shook his head.
"Not even a hint..."
"I just hope this person isn't contemplating suicide..." I said as Ray looked at me with uncertainty in his eyes.
"What? After all, this note is a proof to show that the person is also suffering from low self-esteem, self-hatred, depression and an abusive life..." I explained.
"Wait. Could it be that it's the same person who also kept notes in your locker?" Ray asked me as I thought.
"Hmm...there's a possibility." I said.
"Do you have the note with you?" Tony asked, his eyes still fixed on the paper.
"No. Why?" I asked, sipping my juice.
"Is it in your locker then? I need to check something." He said. I nodded, got up and went to get the notes from my locker. They were three in number. For an unknown reason, I had kept all the notes.
"Hmm..." Tony arranged all the notes on the table.
"It's the same handwriting!" Ray pointed out as I looked closer. He was right!
"Okay? So why'd you ask San for the notes-"
"Ha! That's why! I knew it!" Tony said suddenly, smiling triumphantly as we looked at him in confusion. He rolled his eyes at pointed to the bottom of the note.
"At the back of each note is a drawing...like a puzzle piece, when you put them all together, they form a-"
"Flower pot?" Ray asked incredulously as I sighed. This wasn't looking good.
Why was this person so mysterious? I'm tired of all the riddles!
I grumbled in my head.
"Flower pot....flower pot....that's it!" Lissa said, hurrying out of the cafeteria as we all looked at each other in confusion but soon ran after her. She ran to the school's roof.
Oh yeah!
The school's roof was adorned with beautiful ornamental flowers and flower pots. It was a beautiful, breezy, sunny day but we all froze in our tracks at the sight before us.
♤♤♤♤♤♤♤
"Please don't!" Lissa cried out. A girl stood at the edge of the roof, with headphones on her head. Just as we reached the top, she was about to lift her foot and step into air- she wanted to fall off the school's roof and die! Intentionally!
I pulled her back and I saw a lifeless look on her face. I looked at her closely. She was the girl who was bullied by Samantha the other day and she had fresh wounds on her wrists, her eyes were puffy and her cheek, swollen. Cassie! She always wore a sweater...
So that's why she always wore sweaters! She was hiding her bruises which were obviously self-inflicted!
"Why did you drag me back? You should've just let me die, let me go. It's not like anyone would care or anything." She said, looking at me with the same blank, lifeless look in her eyes.
"No, no. You shouldn't. Thank God we came on time!" Ray said, running his fingers through his hair. Lissa looked at her compassionately.
"That's a lie. Whatever it is you're going through, killing yourself isn't going to bring your solution- it's only going to make things worse- forever." She said.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
Wait...hadn't this girl heard of hell before?
"Those who take their lives would not have a place in God's heavenly kingdom. It's hell for them." I said as she scoffed.
"Hell? Is it different from my life? My life is already hell! I'm going through hell! So don't tell me that shit!" She barked, her eyes watering as she wiped them away viciously.
"But why do you want to end your life when the solution to your problems isn't far fetched?" Tony asked, sitting on a pavement as I saw Cassie's face soften a bit.
"And what would that be?" She asked.
"Jesus. He's the only solution to your problem." Ray said as she scoffed and let out a dry laugh.
"Jesus? You mean God?" She asked as I nodded.
"I don't believe you." She stated simply with a cold tone.
"Why?"Lissa asked.
"Isn't it obvious? I'm a mess! My life's a mess! No one wants me! No one wants to have anything to do with me. In fact, my very existence is a bother to them so why don't I just end it all huh? If there's truly God exists, why would he watch me suffer innocently? Why would he watch me suffer every single day of my life?" She asked, trying to hold back her tears as she closed her eyes.
"Have you tried talking to him about it?" Tony asked.
"Why would I? Isn't He supposed to know already?" She deadpanned.
"Because he loves you Cassandra. He cares for you. All you have yo do is call out to Him and He'll answer." Lissa said, smiling as she stroke Cassie hair gently and that seems to make her break. She began to cry- wail actually.
"Romans 10:13
For "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."" Ray said.
"B-but why? Why do I have to go through all that hurt and pain? I'm bullied at school, my mother is abused by my step father, he hates me, just my mere presence annoys him, and when I tell her to leave him, she says she can't because she loves him and believes he would change. My step-sister hates the fact that my mom got married to her dad so she makes me regret being in her family." She said, wiping her tears with the hankie Tony had given her.
"Cassie that's a lot...it's okay. Don't worry. Jesus can give you peace, He can restore your joy and your family. Just trust Him. Do you know what He says?" Lissa asked as she sniffed, shaking her head.
"Isaiah 41:10 says
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Lissa said.