The cat and the childhood neglect

Asia's POV

There was nobody behind me I thought I heard Rani say loudly, clearly and tauntingly that we were poor that is why we knew what a poor person would think. Maybe it was my mind that playing games but the voice was very clear. And let's be clear we were not poor. We were middle class. My mother didn't have to go scrub other people's floors, I thought rolling my eyes.

"What is that sound! Arrrghh! It's giving me goosebumps" I screamed at no one in particular, looking for the origin of the sound. A cat was scratching our beautiful new French window. The cat was a fluffy, white, seemingly triple coated, doll face, Persian cat. I wanted to hit that cat the right square in her stupid fat face. I ran towards went it and opened up the window and yelled at the cat "Do you even know how expensive this glass is?" I wanted to kick that cat but of course, I'm not going to kick it I'm not even that evil. Ali came from behind me and started squealing like a fangirl. "Oh my God, that's a little scrumptious little girl! I want that."

"Are you crazy? This is probably our neighbour's or somebody's cat. Persian cats and that too this fat and well-fed do not just roam on the roads. This is probably somebody's cat."

"I don't care who's cat this is I want her. She is so cute and fluffy."

As Ali was petting the cat the stupid fluff was spreading in the air.

"Oh my God," I said, "this cat is spreading like AIDS. Throw her out. This is somebody else's cat."

"It came here so it's ours now"

"That doesn't even make any sense. How can we keep somebody else's cat? Let it go outside again and it will go back the way it came here."

"Why would we let this cat go away. It's cute, pretty and look, how fluffy it is. Oh my God! During winter I'm going to keep this cat to on my feet's side to warm up my feet."

"You're weird," I said.

"I'm gonna ask mom and she's gonna let me have it. I know I've been getting such good grades especially recently. I mean I've always had great grades but physics and calculus plus. Man, I'm so winning at life. I just want this cat I was so tense today and I don't know all of a sudden I see this beautiful, beautiful, beautiful cat and I'm just happy again and it's so cute. I'm going to tell mom that she needs to give me a present and I don't think she will mind keeping a cat in the house.

"She's stinky. She sheds. I hate cats. Seriously, I hate all stupid, dumb animals.", I said.

"I don't care what you like or don't. I like this cat. I want this cat. Why are you interfering? Who are you?" said Ali pretty angrily, "I'm going to Mama and I'm going to ask her if can we keep her or not?" As we were proceeding towards our parents' room the cat was just casually started snuggling up to Ali as he was cradling her like a baby. She was rubbing her head onto his chest slightly and purring all along. Literally, there were some boogers just hanging around her nose and those whiskers were way too long and I'm sure she, like other animals, licks her butt to clean up her poop. Oh my God! I threw up a little in my mouth. This thing is going to be in our house.

"I'm done. I'm literally done. I'm gonna tell mommy that we cannot keep this cat in our house. Okay." I spat angrily.

"Stop irritating me," said Ali.

"You are the one who's irritating all of us. We do not want this hassle around us. It's not that easy to keep a cat, you know. They poop, also this is somebody else's cat. This is our neighbours' cat they are going to miss her. I have seen videos of people crying when they lose their cats, on Facebook."

"You have never cared about other peoples' feelings ever. I remember it very clear that you used to throw Atif's ice cream in the dustbin right in front of him and wouldn't EVER care about him even when he would be wailing about how poor his family was. And how the only time he could buy his favourite ice cream was when he got prize money on getting full marks by Teacher Afshan." said Ali with no expression on his face. He looked possessed. It was as if a robot was saying all these things without giving any expression.

Mama was sitting in her room on the bed. She looked very sad.

"Can we keep this cat, mom?"

She looked at the cat in Ali's hand and almost instantly her surprised expression turned into a beaming one. "Where did you get this fluffy, snow bear from? Oh my God, she's so big! Is she pregnant?"

"I don't know, Mama. I do not have ultrasonic powers in my hand." Ali giggled like a fangirl. "She was outside on our patio. She came to me as if she knew me. Mama all rich people have cats in their house. It is like a status symbol, you know. We should totally keep her. You'll also get so many likes on Instagram with this beautiful girl."

I rolled my eyes. We were trying so hard to fit in our neighbourhood. Our neighbour's judged our ways. New money is still money. Doesn't matter if we got rich overnight. We still are rich and we do deserve the same awe. We deserve the same looks of envy we ourselves have given our whole life to all the rich people around us. Roaming around us with their fabulous cars and club memberships.

But, no. They looked at us weirdly because we don't know how to enunciate fancy Italian dishes on the menu. Or how the rich have set a standard to eat with a fork and knife and the placement and the mannerism. Rich people are such bitches. I hate them but I wanna be them.

"I wanna keep this cat," Ali said.

"It's cute. It's cute. It's purring already. Of course, we can keep. We can certainly afford it." said Mama

And this broke my train of thoughts. And all of the anger I felt for the judgemental rich bitches in the world shot up on Ali's face in the form of an outrageous outburst. "NO. THROW IT OUT. Mama, I don't want this cat in this house. I don't like this cat. It is ugly and it stinks. I don't like animals. You know, I hate animals." I knew she was not going to listen to me Ali is her Favourite kid. But that doesn't stop me from yelling angrily.

"I see you hate everybody," said Ali "You hate animals, you hate human beings, you hate trees, you hate everything, you are such a bitter person, Just get over yourself."

"It's okay. Don't get mad. We won't keep this cat if you don't want us to. Just don't get upset, please." I was taken aback by my mother's statement. She was acting as if I was a deranged animal or somebody who was mentally unstable. As if my emotions were lying on the edge of a table ready to fall and shatter to the ground. I felt as if I was a broken shard of glass sharp enough to cut throats. The way she said it made me feel like there was something wrong with me.

I remember when I used to get sick as a kid my mother would become so nice to me just like she would be to Ali. Ali is her favourite kid. She's always loved him more. She always listens to Ali no matter what I say, but she would listen to me when I used to get sick. This had always made me feel that I was only important to my mother or she only cared about me when I was sick, but Ali always was always important to her. She was giving preference to what I was saying, right now, when I was clearly not sick. It felt weird. That made me feel sick. Like Pavlovian's dog, I had associated her caring for me and preferring me over Ali with sickness. It made me sick. I felt nauseous at what she said. I don't want her pity. I want her love.

"You know what, Mama he can keep the cat. I realise I'm being unreasonable."

"Mama said, "Are you, sure sweetheart? Is it okay with you?"

"Yes," I said, nodding slightly confused. Why are you saying like that? I'm not sick right now you do not have to pretend to love me or care about my feelings. I thought to myself, you never care about what I think

I looked at them both a little stunned, wondering why they were acting like that. I didn't like it. I didn't like this attention.