Revelations of a Gone Past

~Give up your heart left broken

And let that mistake pass on

'Cause the love that you lost wasn't worth what it cost

And in time you'll be glad it's gone~

I was beginning to nod off with a dream of that little girl in another world playing before my eyes when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I wonder if she existed in this one too.

I had just silently been sitting in front of Prophet's nameless grave. Now that I looked up and beyond, dawn was already breaking. I looked over my shoulder to find Chopper, surprisingly haggard. He hadn't slept last night too.

"Come on in", he said in a low voice before getting up and leaving.

I couldn't feel my limbs. They had fallen asleep even as my head kept rolling the same scenes before my eyes.

I pushed myself to get up, almost like a rusty machine. Sparing a last look at Prophet's grave, to whom I had said nothing all night, I headed to Valhalla.

Lady was seated in her chair like usual. Chopper stood leaning against the back wall. He had been waiting for me. Now that I looked around, everyone was up. I didn't feel like walking right in and just sitting down. So I stood in the doorway, wearing no expression on my face.

Who would I wear it for anyway? These people knew nothing.

"How you doin', Seraph?", Lady asked with her vague smirk.

It wasn't meant to revoke an answer, I hope. Because I didn't feel like answering. There was pin drop silence in the hall. Even June was sitting idly.

"Well Seraph, you had something to say to me, didn't you?", she said, fixing her legs on the table in front of her, "You said you'll tell me when it was all over."

Apparently, I had promised the same thing to this Lady too. But I never got to say it to the one I really promised to. She would never know what I wanted to say to her. And many many more things. I could feel myself spiraling into something unknown, something very dark.

"And since your time is up, Seraph, I'll let you say what you wanted to before we decide what to do with you."

She was talking about the promise she'd made about six months ago. Was it really just six months? It felt wrong. Hadn't I been here longer? Was it really just a mere six months? Pathetic.

"Well, go on now", she said.

"I found the answer", my voice broke after a few moments of utter silence.

"If its wrong you'll have to die, you know?", she said cheekily, leaning back in her chair.

Of course, I knew it was a lie. Lady would never kill me. She never planned to.

"Lady...you are Iris Bergmeier...aren't you?"

Iris Bergmeier. He was a hero of war, the savior of Mercae, Bardock's companion, a real leader, a light of hope.

Lady's expression changed swiftly. She hadn't been expecting me to say this at all. But she said nothing. Chopper was a bit unsettled though. Apparently, even he didn't know. The rest were shocked to hear it too, but Lady's silence only served to affirm my words.

"You killed Bardock...but the truth is, he let you kill him. The history that's been lost in the war...you knew it and so did Bardock. And that's why, he let you kill him."

This was something the real Lady had told me back when she killed her friend Iori. She told me that the reason no one knew why or when the Great War had started was because history was lost. It was erased by the military. People didn't know anything about the past world, what or who was there and what started their existence.

But it isn't that the military deliberately kept its people ignorant. In the very beginning, there was destruction, riots and fires. Too much of the knowledge was getting lost. People wasted away the precious history they had in their hand. Afraid it would disappear entirely, the military got hold of every record, every book, every story, all knowledge of history and locked it all up to keep it safe.

While the war continued, no one could be told of this secret 'treasure trove' of knowledge. But when it was over, Bardock knew the people wouldn't be able to handle the responsibility that came with that much knowledge. He waited till people would be ready. But now he was dead.

Only a select few within the military knew of the treasure. Many others thought it was done merely to keep control over the public.

Whatever the truth was, only those who had seen it, knew.

Perhaps I wasn't right to think that Bardock let Lady kill him. But I wasn't exactly off the mark either.

"The hitman I hired...did you know? It was Iori", she said with a sinister grin on her face, "Of course, he didn't know who had given him that job."

There it was. The side of her that felt too uncontrollable, too distant, too unreal. So it existed in this Lady too.

But if what she said was true, was that the reason she killed Iori? To silence him?

"Well, is that it?", she asked, casually.

I stayed silent for a while.

"There was something you wanted to tell me too...didn't you?", I wasn't sure if this Lady had promised it or not.

"Of course! It's a trade off, you know!"

"Wait, Lady-"

"Later, Chopper", she interrupted him.

Chopper crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall, with a frown on his face.

"Now then, Seraph", she began in a rather cheerful tone, "What I wanted to tell you was the reason you're here. And about that little girl."

I stared at her, emptily.

"You said you got here through your father's connection, didn't you?"

I didn't understand what she was getting at.

"Who do you think his connection was?"

No, I thought to myself. It couldn't be...

She smiled proudly, shrugging.

"Why...", escaped my mouth.

"He wanted our help", Chopper spoke, "And we don't take many requests."

Apparently, Lady and Chopper had met my father before Valkyries came around. Around seven years ago. But I couldn't remember seeing either of them with my father.

Had the real Lady met my father too, then? Chances were, she had. Then my father knew perfectly well where he was sending me off to. Was that the reason he wore that strange, distant expression on his face when he said goodbye. More importantly, what was it that he knew?

And that little girl. I felt a strange fear welling up inside me. Did I really want to know the truth? And whatever the case was, I had a feeling, she wasn't alive anymore. So what difference would it make?

But as it turned out, it did matter. Little did I know that in truth, I had killed her.