Draft 2

"Mhm, mhm! This house's lady has great tastes in clothes." I said while nodding vigoriously, remembering how my wife used to drag me everywhere looking for underwear to match her eroge cosplays.

'I can't say the same for the men, though', I thought while changing my bloody clothes for the dad's.

Why do I still care about fashion after all this time, I wonder. It's not like I was into it in my previous world.

Although the place isn't something I would consider peaceful, there are still some who wore clothes that didn't make sense if you take combat and survival into account.

"Maybe it's because this world resembles that world --- peaceful." I said as I stare at the night sky, before shifting my gaze to my reflection on the sliding glass door.

An oversized white shirt, comfy black pants and brown sneakers.

I chuckled, "Would you think these clothes

do my good looks justice, dear?", I said jumping down from the apartment complex's second floor and aimlessly making my way to the streets of Tokyo.

'Good thing I wore the dad's, or otherwise I would be stuck with an uncomfortable tight shirt.'

A tight shirt wouldn't look bad on me since this body had already adapted to my soul, making the previously skinny muscles dense, with inhuman flexibility and durability, but still, I wouldn't feel comfortable walking around with mismatched clothes.

"Wearing baggy clothes is already cheating, huh?" I thought, continuing to reminsce about my time in that world, while blankly staring at the night sky.

Gazing at the positioning of the stars, the people passing by disappear.

My senses that were being overwhelmed by the noisy Shibuya streets are now being tuned out by memories of that time.

The smell of the sea filling my every corner.

The distant laughter and conversation at my right and back, noise that my memory registered but never took to heart.

The mischiveous giggling in front.

The sight of her, splashing the water like a child taking in the experience of her first time in the beach.

Her vibrant smile, as if declaring that this whimsical moment we're sharing, shall forever be etched in our hearts.

To think that a moment that should be every bit as precious could be so... painful.

True eidetic memory.

It's an ability I assume I already had before even reincarnating into her world, an ability that lets me vividly recall every detail of a memory including both sense and emotion.

I can turn it down, but I can never turn it off. And like how recalling embarassing memories would make anyone cringe, recalling my memories with her, fills me with bottomless despair.

Despair in the fact that after finally having found true love, I may never be able to fall in love again.

Despair that I can't do anything about it. That there's no point even in turning back time and meeting her again.

Why am I here? Why am I still moving forward? For what purpose did I kill God?

I don't really remember, and that has nothing to do with the ability itself. It's the price I had to pay in order to end that cycle.

But to think that I'll lose something as important as my purpose for doing exactly that. Not to mention the memories of the unknown amount of worlds I've been reincarnated in, or all the important bits of information that I consider most essential.

Nen.

Having been in conscious soul form for god knows how many times, I managed to figure out the correlation between Nen and Soul.

After finding out that Nen is omnipotent with the right ability and restriction, I secretly trained a second Nen ability far from the gaze of the perverted God.

As for how, I don't remember. It probably has something to do with my past that I sacrificed in order to kill God.

Spirit Bomb is what I call it. It's a reference to an extremely popular anime I never really watched, but know enough to pretend that I have.

Rather than being like the Spirit Bomb in that anime, it's more like my souls suicide bombing the targets soul pitting existence against existence.

And yes, souls. I, like the God of this multiverse is an amalgamation of souls. Peeking at the source of my Nen let me see that fact. That's also how I know that God is multiple isekai Gods rolled into one.

That arrogant orgy of isekai cliches never figured out what I was up to, though. In the first place, they never bother learning the power systems of the worlds they play with.

Come to think of it, I must've thrown a godly amount of souls to only be left with three lifetimes.