Chapter Twenty

Intensely I looked at the grey eyes that commanded me to finish my plate. "I'm not hungry your majesty", I repeated. He crossed his arms and my eyes immediately fixed on them watching his muscles flex. Was it getting stuffy in here?

Ophelia nudged my arm. I looked at her and she nodded her head towards the unfinished plate. The maid which held my plate walked over and put it back where it was before. It seemed like minutes have passed and I was only staring at the half full plate. "Eat", a deep voice commanded. I didn't even dare to look up again. My heart was racing inside of my chest and my hands were getting sweaty. My shaky hand reached for the fork and I tightly held it. I looked at my plate and stabbed a potato shoving it into my mouth. While still eating I began talking without covering my mouth. "This potato is good", I said while still munching on my potato. I shoved another into my mouth and continued eating noisily. I looked over to Azuna and she had a terrified look on her face. She was pale and stared at my mouth. Slightly smirking I continued on doing my little show.

I ate all the potatoes and continued with the salad. I just shoved it straight into my mouth not caring if the sauce would drip down or smear around my face.

With the last bite of the salad I looked straight at the king who watched me intensely. Wiping away the sauce with my sleeve I continued on looking into his eyes never breaking the eye contact. A powerful feeling build up in my body but soon disappeared.

"I will escort them out of the room", Azuna said as she stood up and dusted her dress. The king continued staring at me and then looked at Azuna. His eyes turned foggy and I looked at Azuna who's eyes were also foggy. They were probably mindlinking each other. I felt Ophelia's hand hovering over my thigh and she gently squeezed it.

"Come on lets go", Azuna turned her head towards us both. Ophelia nodded and quickly stood up. I followed her action and reached for the plate to put it away. "Leave it there", Azuna commented and turned back to the king. She slightly bowed and showed her neck. After a few seconds she turned on her heal and walked to the door. Me and Ophelia followed her out of the room. Before I left the room I looked back to take a last glance at the king and I met his eyes. I sucked in a deep breath as I felt the tension between us rise. Quickly I snapped my head back and gave myself a light slap on the cheek.

Azuna led us to a big wooden door. "This is my favorite place in the world", she commented as she pushed the door open. We entered the room and I looked in awe at the hundreds of books in this library. Or rather said thousands of books. The shelves were made out of a dark rich wood and reached till the ceiling. Ladders were leaning against them to climb up and get some of the books which were higher placed. In a corner of the room was a cozy couch and a couple of armchairs in a beige color. "I'll need to go to a conference, feel free to roam around the library", Azuna left the room and I immediately went over to a shelf. I bet there were a lot of books about werewolves in here and I would get to know what mates are. I skipped over the book titles but there wasn't anything that sounded informative. I climbed up the ladder and searched in the higher section but still I wasn't lucky. Sighing loudly I climbed back down and went over to another shelf. I did the same but I didn't find anything.

"What are you searching?", Ophelia chimed in. I turned around with a frustrated face. "I'm searching for informations", I admitted. "What about?" Sighing loudly I told her that I didn't know what mates are.

Ophelia smiled and went over to the cozy corner, sitting down on the beige and tapping the place beside her. I followed her like a puppy and sat down. "Why did you never ask?", Ophelia laughed out. I blushed slightly feeling ashamed. I never liked to ask questions and even if I wanted to, it was never the right moment.

"You don't know anything about mates, right Elyana?" I nodded and she began explaining me the whole thing. "I bet you know the word soulmates right?" Once again I nodded. "They're two similar things. A soulmate can be anyone. A person you feel connected to like a friend of yours or someone from your family. But mates in the werewolf realm are more powerful", she continued.

"Mates have a way more deeper meaning. You are tied together for the rest of your life not like soulmates. Your soulmate can change but you will always have the same mate. They are your world, your heart beat and your oxygen. You are tied together in a romantic way more powerful than any other in this world. Whenever you see them your heart yearns for them and whenever they leave it aches."

Hundreds of questions swirled in my mind at the information Ophelia has dropped on me. "How do they know that they're mates?"

"I can only tell you about the things I read in the books or got to know by other werewolves. You will feel the need to be with them. Whenever they look at you, you would feel your heart beat increasing. Their smell would be taunting."

With all the information dropped ob me, I stared at Ophelia as she slightly smiled. "Do you understand?". I nodded and stood up, searching for another book but this time for my own entertainment. I grabbed a book with the title "Chronicles of Teyvat" and sat down on one of the comfortable armchairs. Opening the book I noticed that someone wrote into this book. I looked at the neat handwriting and read the message they left behind.

"This reminds me of you, my love." I skipped over the pages and noticed that on some of them the person wrote their thoughts onto the page. Going back to the start of the book, I began reading it. Whenever a new note was visible I automatically read it. There were multiples notes the person has written to another person. They seemed to be in a romantic way. Maybe it was their mate they were writing too. I felt giddy while reading their messages and felt the urge to kick my feet into the air sometimes. I didn't even concentrate on the novel anymore and was more excited to find the notes and make a connection towards the paragraph which was mentioned.

A hand suddenly tapped my shoulder and my eyes widened. Jumping into the air I turned around and met the eyes of Ophelia. "I'm sorry that I startled you, but it's getting dark outside and we should go back to our rooms before the maids come to search for us", Ophelia said. "You can already go. I'll just finish the chapter. There aren't many pages left", I replied. Ophelia sighed but smiled afterwards and exited the library.

As she left the room I snuggled back into the armchair and skipped over the pages searching for more messages. I was invested in their love story. I wanted to find out whom they were writing too and who the person was which read the entire book and dedicated the messages to their lover.

I wished to have something like them. Pure love, pure adoration. Someone who is obsessed with you, with your flaws and your imperfection. Someone who reads an entire book and picks out the paragraph which reminds you of them. Someone who truly loves you.

I yawned and covered my mouth with my hand. I looked outside and my eyes nearly jumped out of my head. It was dark. The moon shone over the castle and the stars lit up the darkness. How much time did pass since Ophelia left the room? Quickly I put the book on the coffee table and rushed out of the library. I headed towards my room and did it as quiet as possible.

I passed a familiar corridor and turned to my right. There I saw the door leading to my bedroom. I rushed over to it and pushed the door handle down. The door was already locked. Sighing frustrated, I frantically looked around. The maid didn't do her job right. Who locks a door without even checking if a person is inside? But on the other hand it's already weird to lock a person away but I'm still considered an inmate in Rivakh.

I slid down the door and pulled my legs to my body. The temperature have been dropping down fast the past few days. The end of autumn approached and winter was nearing. In Estreia we never had a long, icy, cold winter. We sometimes had a few days which were colder than normal but since Estreia is located more south than Rivakh it was warmer.

My legs began to shake and I rubbed my hands against them to create warmth. Soon my arms felt tired and I let them rest on my legs.

I felt the urge to shift again. The last time I shifted was three or maybe four days ago and even then I didn't shift for a long time. I decided to take the risk and shift to release the urge inside of me. I silently stood up and walked over to the window which was open the same night I first shifted in this kingdom. Luckily the window was open and the cold wind hit my skin. It gave me a stingy feeling.

I leaned out of the window and breathed in the cold fresh air. Quickly I pulled my dress off and imagined myself as a bird. Cracking sounds echoed around the castle. Spreading my wings, I took a part of the dress into my beak and took off flying into the wildness. I didn't want to be a bird this time. I reached a tree and landed there, playing the dress on the branch and transformed back into my human form. Breathing heavily I climbed down the tree and laid on the ground in a starfish position. Connecting myself to the nature and activating all my senses. The tingles spread across my body quickly and I soon found myself being a fox.