The Thing About Boss Monsters

"THIS ONE'S FOR ALL THE BEASTGIRLS YOU STOLE,"

Sam bashes Pimpington's fucking head in with her sword, and she doesn't stop at just onE. After confirming the bastard to be stunned, the Princess starts screaming and going on a rampage. She lets go of his hand and strikes him down with a powerful swipe of steel. With all of her fury, Sam pummels him into the golden bricks below like she's trying to turn the pimp into a paste.

"THIS ONE'S FOR MERI,"

Over and over the Princess slams her sword into the vile villain, savoring the moment as she makes up for everything he's done to hurt her and her friends. Pimpington begins coughing up blood from her assault. At one point he tries to stand up and pull his rapier out of Sam's collarbone, but she conks him on the head and sends him right back to the floor.

"THIS ONE'S FOR MAKING BOSS WORRY ABOUT ME,"

It's an impressive display of savagery, even if it's a little hard to watch. Peri covers her eyes, Cherry stares gaping at the screen, and even Snow averts her gaze from time to time. As for me, I don't let a single second of his defeat slip past. I savor every swing of the Princess's sword almost as much as Sam is savoring them.

When she's finally had her fill of beating the defeated pimp with her Blunt Edge-coated sword, Sam finishes up by kicking the pimp square in the balls with all of her power. "AND THAT'S FOR POKING ME FULL OF HOLES!" She shouts.

Her kick is so fierce that just from the impact alone, Pimpington flies several feet away and hits his head against one of the room's many stone statues. If it weren't for his full-body coating of Steel Soul, the man's testicles would have likely shattered like glass- and even now I'd surmise they aren't looking too well.

Sam stands there in an adrenaline-fueled haze, reaching to the sword sticking out of her. She doesn't so much as wince as she pulls it out.

"Sam, you aren't supposed to remove sharp objects like that unless you're ready to dress the wound-" I sigh with bizarre relief.

"Oh, whoops," She shrugs, reaching into her adventurer's pack to dig out a healing potion from her reserve. She chugs the entire thing in one go and smiles as she looks down at her body. "We're good now, Boss!" In no time at all her wounds disappear, and any damage to her collarbone is healed thanks to the power magical of the red elixir.

"Yeah, I guess we are..." My eyes drift towards the unconscious Pimp, checking for sure that he's really out of commission. As far as I can tell, he's really defeated and totally banged up. "Put the sword aside, I want you to bring it home."

Sam chuckles while eying the sword she just pulled out of her own body, "Can't blame ya, this thing is fuckin' sweet."

"So that's it then...?" Snow blinks as she clutches her paws to her heart, looking at me with watery eyes.

"That's it then," After standing up for the first time in about five hours, I crack my back and flash the head maid an incredibly tired smile.

Snow tackles me to the ground and hugs me, nuzzling her head into my neck with no restraint and purring. "I can't believe it, Myaster...!! I... I doubted you all so many times tonight, but... you... you really, REALLY did it...!!" Tears begin to stream down her face as she hugs me with all of her Beastfolk strength. It's hard to breathe, but I'm ok with that.

Soon after that, Peri and Cherry add themselves to the pile. "I didn't doubt you and the Mistresses for a second, nyaa!" Peri is quick to tell me.

"I didn't either!" Cherry smirks, proudly.

All I can do is laugh and hug the three of them as best I can. "Sam, I'm covered in Catfolk. Please go help Meri while we celebrate."

"Alright," I hear Sam snort, "Don't have too much fun without me over there!"

"No promises," I tell the Princess while gazing straight at the white-haired kitten staring me down.

"You wish." Snow rolls her yellow eyes and smiles with sadistic smugness.

With her body pressing down on top of me, I can't help noticing the size of her chest... I've only ever seen Snow wearing a loose tracksuit and a very formal, classical maid outfit. But now that she's pounced on top of me the heft is practically impossible to ignore. She has to be hiding an absurd pair of-

"Do it-" Peri interrupts my train of thought as she begins pushing the back of Snow's head. "Kiss the Myaster, damn it-"

"I will not," Snow's neck does not bend towards me even in the slightest no matter how hard my supporter flexes her strength.

"Cherry, help me, nyaa!" Peri calls for support.

Snow gives Cherry a look that implies she'll pull out her riding crop if she so much as dares try to force her to kiss me. "I-I'm, uh, not sure that's in my best interest..." The pink-haired kitten blushes, looking away as she develops a nervous sweat.

Peri shrugs and gives up, much to my admitted disappointment. Snow gets up off of me as well, and she extends her paw to help me up. I gratefully take it and smile as she pulls me to my feet and we all sit back at our seats to see Sam holding up one of Meri's health potions for her. After she's done, she and the Princess both drink an entire stamina potion right away. On another screen, Zutiria is drinking her second mana potion.

Nothing fills me with more relief than watching their health, stamina, and mana meters all max out... especially given how dangerously low they were getting.

"You all did wonderfully," I give the party an honest and sincere compliment.

Sam smirks, Meri blushes and Zutiria smiles.

"That was fucking scary, not gonna lie..." The Princess exhales and scratches the back of her head, pulling Meri back to her feet. "Don't think I've ever been in so much pain..."

"I'm just upset I couldn't do more..." The Shield Maiden frowns. "He was a bad matchup against me, just like you said, Master..."

'He was much too fast for you to reliably tank hits, sure, but you still did more than me.' Zutiria sighs in a solemn tone and shakes her head.

"Everyone did the best they could do with their respective talents. No more, no less. I think that's reason enough for celebration, don't you?"

"I-I guess so, Master..." Meri fights off her discontent and weakly smiles as Sam wraps her arms both of her friend's necks, pulling them into an adorable group hug.

"We did it...!" She smiles as a creeping realization begins to take root in my mind.

"...The door hasn't unlocked yet," I confirm this fact by repositioning the Taskmaster screen and zooming into the door behind Pimpington's throne on the balcony. It's just as locked as before.

"No big deal," Sam shrugs and hefts her sword over her shoulder. "He's probably barely hanging on, I'll go and clobber the Pimp out cold and Zuzu can bind him up with whatever spell. Do you want us to send him back to the Guild with a Returner, or...?"

"Yes, that should be fine. Just be careful, Sam... he's tricky."

'At least no one has to punch a pregnant woman this time,' Zutiria says, earning a chuckle from Sam and the kitties.

It wouldn't have been the end of the world if he died in this battle, but Pimpington is worth far more to me alive than dead. Not even just to potentially hand him off to Duke Gloomcrest, either. I plan on having a very thorough interrogation as soon as the Pimp is in my custody.

I didn't get a good look at Pimpington while Sam was beating him with merciless abandon, but leading up to it he still seemed certain of his victory. Just like Sam, I was too washed over by adrenaline to consider much else beyond the satisfaction of seeing him get beat into a bloody pulp...

When the dastardly, beaten, and bruised Pimp rises to his feet as Sam approaches, I can't say I'm fully surprised. Snow and the kitties gasp, Sam switches into a defensive stance, Meri rushes to her side, and Zutiria wipes her tired eyes and groans.

"Be real with me, Master, how mothafuckin' bad does this Pimp look?" He smiles, revealing himself to be missing several teeth.

"I've seen road animals trampled by caravans that looked better than you," I answer him with humor.

He laughs, shaking his head and running his clearly broken hand through his sweaty black hair. "Yeah, that sounds about righ'... fuckin' weird thing bout it is that even though I hurt so damn much righ' now, this pimp just feels like a million gold, ya feel me?"

"And here I thought you said being roughed up by a bunch of girls isn't your cup of tea," I crack a smile, and Pimpington laughs even harder.

"I suppose I did say somethin' like that... shit's ironic, ya feel me? Didn't know how much I... how much I actually missed the thrill of battle."

"Oh, come the fuck on," Sam groans. "Just let me fucking knock you out- we don't need your sentimental bullshit right now!"

"That's fair, I can dig it."

"How're your balls doing, by the way?" Sam grins like a total bitch.

"I wear magic crotch armor fo' a reason, ya know. A pimp don't leave home without it."

"Hmph," Sam frowns, clearly upset that she didn't shatter her enemy's gonads into oblivion.

I don't know what comes over me, but I stare at our nearly defeated foe and can't help thinking to ask him something. "How did they do, Pimp?"

After making a serious expression, his face relaxes into a warm, almost comforting smile. "They ain't half bad, fo' rookies. Y'all pushed me to my limits, which I thought was impossible fo' a buncha bronze-ranked babies..."

"If you were at your peak-"

"I woulda killed 'em within half a minute." His face becomes grim as he answers with complete honesty. "This pimp is even mo' outta practice than I coulda imagined..."

I figured as much. A lump swells in Sam's throat. No doubt she finds it hard to speak after hearing that, knowing it to be true. "Fuck..." She mutters to herself. Her pride makes her clench her sword a bit tighter.

"Are you ready to give in, P-Pimp, or do we need to keep kicking your butt?" Meri takes another step toward the enemy, who shows no sign of backing off.

'We've fully healed thanks to the potions I brew, just so you know. It's futile to continue on.'

"...This is the first dungeon all of y'all been through, righ'?" Pimpington seemingly ignores the thinly-veiled threats of my adventurers. He sighs and stands up straight, correcting his bow-legged posture and gaining a few inches of height.

"Shit..." I adjust my glasses out of stress as his words replay themselves in my mind.

"The fuck's that got to do with anything...?!" Sam stomps her feet and steps forward, hoping to threaten her foe.

"Might as well ask yo' Master, sounds like he gets where a pimp is comin' from."

"I admit that I thought it was a possibility, but I don't know how this whole dungeon setup works... I didn't know if you would actually be able to-"

"Oh, I can," Pimpington smirks. His body begins to glow with a mysterious, red energy that seems different from when using Arts. "You see, girls, here's a lesson from me to y'all. The thing about boss monsters... is that there's almost always a phase two, ya feel me?"

Sam rushes in before I can tell her not to. She heaves her great blade over her armored shoulder, but the light radiating from Pimpington becomes a wave of pressure that pushes her and the group back several feet.

"AAUUUUGHH-" The Pimp cries as his silhouette rises from within the pillar of red light. His shape begins to distort in a myriad of painful directions no human should be able to live through, meanwhile, the party and the kitties watch on in horror.

"T-This isn't fair, nyaa! We already won!" Peri begins to cry as she darts off to hide behind my back.

"It's like trying to kill a cockroach...!" Cherry's voice wavers from disbelief.

"Myaster, what is this? What is he doing?! This isn't some kind of Art, is it?" Snow looks to me with deep, fearful concern. It takes all her will to pry her eyes away from the terrifying display.

"No. Lots of dungeon bosses have second forms that they access when they've been halfway defeated. I didn't think it would be possible since he isn't a monster, but... Pimpington is transforming."

'Glad that our friend in high places always has our back,' Zutiria rolls her eyes.

"Fucking bitch, she didn't even give me a treasure yet! Meri and Zuzu both got magic trinkets but I don't get shit AND I gotta fight this bastard twice in a row!?"

"W-We can do this, everyone! Stand firm... stand firm...!!" Meri refuses to back down. She steps forward using her magic cleats, protecting herself from the fierce pressure with her tower shield.

"Meri's right," Out of habit, I slam my fist on the desk. "I asked the Goddess to give us a dungeon, and no punches were pulled. You've made it this far, girls are you going to stop now?"

"FUCK NO," Sam growls, offended that I'd even suggest such a thing.

'We have teamwork and friendship on our side, or something like that, so I'm sure we'll do just fine.'

"Zutiria's right! Nothing can defeat us as long as we stand side by side!" The Shield Maiden completely misses the facetiousness of the silent sorceress, clinging tight to her stereotypical remark.

'I was being sarcastic, Meri.' The Mage sighs.

"...Oh," Meri blushes but shakes it off.

"Myaster, they could barely win the first phase as it was... even if they're healed, this is still-"

"I'm getting REAL tired of your shit, Snow!" Sam grunts as she rolls her eyes.

"...W-What?" The head maid blinks, unsure if Her Highness really just said that.

"It's cool that you're worried about us and all, but you aren't taking our feelings into consideration! Just cause you can't be honest about what YOU want doesn't give you the right to constantly second guess what WE want. Right now, all we wanna do is beat this fucking pimp into the ground and save your fucking friends. Right, girls?"

"Right!" Meri replies with no hesitation.

'Yes, but I wouldn't pass up a week-long nap right about now, either...' Despite her words and cold expression, Zutiria brandishes her staff with enthusiasm.

Snowball is completely floored by Sam's passionate outcry. The Catfolk hangs her head in shame, but only for a moment. Taking a deep breath in through the nostrils of her little, pink cat nose, the maid steadies herself. "...Fuck him up. Fuck him up hard as you fucking can." She says, wiping a small tear from her eye.

"Heh," I smile upon seeing the Princess and her infectious, growing determination at work. She's not as dumb as she looks, and she has a penchant for saying exactly what people need to hear at exactly the time they need to hear it. That's how Sam helped me, after all. "As soon as this bastard's done transforming... well, you heard the client, ladies."

Sam smirks one more time and answers for the three of them. "You got it, Boss!"