Chapter Four

Being an exceptional student who gets straight A's, she must have not been aware of it but she holds rare skills that are overlooked by many. Abilities such as remarkable listening and seeing details of the uncommon (no matter how small they are.) Ever since she laid her dark brownish eyes on Troy, she saw and felt a distinct kind of vitality flowing through him. Visibly her stares could only make out a happy standpoint kind of person but mentally she saw a dissimilar kind of wise in this boy. Probably called a gut feeling in some way. Finding a way to unwind with ease in a congested place and also remaining calm in times of great danger she now knew her gut was precise but never would she have thought a simple thing as breathing is the result of this immaculate odd behavior. Her fascination with him grew even more and so does passionate feelings thrive excessively.

"Is that why you were so calm during yesterday's accident?" Leah asks staring at Troy with fond verve.

"Not entirely." Replying in a low tone he picks and rests his leg on the knee then dances it about.

"I think you are quite interesting. Ye know." She says with much affection behind her look. Troy glances back.

"l think you stink at protecting your emotions." He replies coolly as usual. Leah is befuddled at his response and gives a snappy reaction.

"What do you mean?"

"I could be wrong but" He pauses then takes a deep breath. "I think you have feelings for me."

"How is that poor a job at protecting my feelings." After a while of thinking over her next words, she says with a smile sensing a darling reply.

"I will never choose you for my soulmate." Pauses then lift his palms in the air moving them up and down as a person who is trying to make an overseen point seen. "Truth is I don't think I ever will."

Her smile gets worn out quicker as cotton soft shoes on the feet of a construction worker. She gapes at the smile on his face with wicked thoughts rushing through her mind. Her fascination with his calm posture turned vicious as she heard him talk with immense tranquillity. The fact is that what he said is what he feels in his heart. With a certitude heart, Troy opened up with great honesty to Leah but since she was carrying a heart that has already made out conclusions to Troy's forthcoming responses, it brought disappointment in learning that conclusions did not come as ordered. Instead of appreciating honesty, she gets angry because things did not go her way.

She wanted to yell in his face. "Okay." She chooses to speak ordinarily even though her facial expressions show the total opposite. "I think I better get going. I got some things to do home." Leah stands mid her sentence and walks off.

"See what I mean?" He replies in the same manner he'd been replying. The only thing different now is a widened smile. "You can leave this bench angry and prove I was right. Or you could sit and later leave this bench with a smile and prove I was wrong." He put a little more volume into it. Leah halts her feet.

She turns around gradually and faces Troy dead in the eye.

"I swear I didn't mean to hurt your fee-"

"Stop." She engages with an infuriated tone. She wanted to leave but in her mind, she is convinced that choosing to stay is more appropriate given the case, even if she wished to leave at once. If she leaves it will mean she 'stinks' in self-control and that is not the impression she would like to give anybody, especially a barbaric stranger in that matter. Also if she stays, it'll mean she is running a fool's errand since the goal was to leave this park with an evolved relationship status to her name.

Admitting curiosity to pick his brains also looking to defend her case, she kept a stiff upper lip as she slowly lowers down to her seat. Her emotions crumble in anxiety looking at Troy's undisturbed face which in her opinion it should be the opposite. Golden how just moments ago she was enjoying his presence.

Without a doubt, ignorance here is the root of her situation. If this root, being 'ignorance' was given the mic on a freedom of speech basis, he will utter as such; This brain might not be my house but I muscled my way in and made it mine. Can't you see how smoothly I move around it with comfort? I have been diverting from real-life living ever since my reign, Oh, how sweet is that? How best to do it if not through instilling improper desire. Ever since I discovered a machine that is made up of tons of propagandized materials, my reign over this brain flourished. Even the lady who gave birth to this brain and put furniture to it at a young age can not stand toe to toe with me. With the help of my little machine, I easily dazed her presence, ducked her small talk, and ignored her advice, with the power in my hand I walk straight toward peril, Oh, so sweet.

The importance behind the emotion one powers their mind with it's quite effective because it can alter the vision and destiny.

"There's good and bad. Happiness and suffering." Troy says, he then alleviates the length of his half-smile then proceeds. "Why does it have to be hard to choose and stick with the right one?" 

"I don't know. What do you think?" Leah reply with a voice so tired and lazy it sounds as if it carried massive weight a long distance.

"I can tell you are smart." Troy says. "I believe that you would not let s-"

"Tell me. Why do you have to smile nonstop?" Viciously, Leah intercepts. "Don't you know of expressing worry to sympathize with the hurt!" She says.

"Which brings me to my question." Troy speaks.

"No. Do not try to dodge my query."

"A smile is a sign of happiness and worry is a sign of suffering." After saying this Troy takes a gulp of water from his bottle. "Like I said, why choose to worry and suffer instead to smile and be happy?"

In an unstable state she is in, nonetheless, she can not help but see the glimmer in Troy's words. Even after hearing a valid point, her mindset still stands on aiming to shoot down any projection brought up by him. For her, this is a war of debate that she is not planning to lose at any given moment. Suddenly in her mind, she is impatiently thinking of a turbulent clap-back.

"Let's say you lose someone you hold dear to your heart." Leah speaks.

"Okay." He answers.

"Perhaps your mother die. How long do you think it'll take for that smile of yours to return?" Ill-disposed to, Leah shot her shot. Troy takes a big gulp of water. In disguise, Leah smiles.

"I do not have a mother but I do have a little brother whom I hold close to my heart." Troy says. "If by a chance life throw such a rough rock my way, I can't be certain of how I would act during that time. But-" He takes a short deep breath as his smile declined in length. He proceeds. "I am certain that I would not wish to believe that him gone means its bad. I'd wish to believe that him gone does not mean I shall suffer. I'd wish to believe that him gone means now he is finally free from the evils of this world I live in. Finally, I'd wish to widen my smile even wider learning all the beauty in his death." After calmly speaking followed a short sigh. "In short, I hope to still have the strength to get a tight grip on my mind when that time comes," Troy says. He pauses for some time as flashes of dark scenes run through his mind, from black suits, carrying a coffin to dirt swallowing his little brother. He sighed some more."Now tell me. Yesterday on the road-"  Troy's voice breaks a short silence. "When that car veered on our lane fear struck you. Why do you think you remained in a dread state for the rest of the drive."

"Uh, Okay." Leah says coming out of the hole. She felt every line Troy said about his hypothesized brother's death and felt every emotion that came with it.

"Like I said, I believe that you are quite bright Miss." With a serene tone, Troy speaks. "I believe you will answer attentively."

Looking his way as he took a gulp of water, she again appreciated the glimmer in his words, especially the compliment side of it. Now driving to give a well-calculated attentive clap-back, she takes a moment to recall the incident. Vividly she recollects the memory of when the perpetrators car swerved onto their lane. She remembers that the first thing she did was scream her lungs out in fear. Cautiously thinking, she settles her point in believing that any normal human is supposed to be startled by an unforeseen weary action.

"Startled at first, I screamed in fear. You might didn't scream but you would admit you were startled." Leah speaks.

"I admit." Troy nods in agreement. "Continue please."

Now looking to fully answer the question, she acknowledges to learn what truly kept her frustrated for the whole drive yesterday or what frustrated her just moments ago to this very second, simply what keeps her frustrated at times of rocky moments. Again vividly in remembrance of yesterday's absurd scenes, after screaming she froze mentally as her heart pumped rapidly. Then immediately she angrily threw shots at the perpetrator after her mind unfroze from instant shock. From being startled to the moment her heart pumped rapidly to cursing the life-threatening scenes caused by the stranger, she tapped her fingers on her lap working her brains out looking for a possibility of avoiding such a train-long of emotional hurt and finding calm and peace in times of danger. It will require a brain fit as a fiddle to remain immune to emotional hurt or fright at times of danger, but Troy did, maybe it's his 'mindfulness' technique, if so it then it means that it is possible, Leah thought.

First thing, finding the embryo to get in a dreadful state of mind. With confidence, Leah believes that it all takes place in the mind. Fright, anger, emotional hurt, frustration, and a bit of remorse are all the roller coaster emotions that made her go to pieces yesterday, she believes it all goes down on the mind. We scheme and fight with our minds, when we have small fears we are worried, and have great fears we are at a total loss. When having small joy we constantly smile and when we have great joy we laugh out loud with glee. Joy or sorrow, both blooming from the mind and brought to life by our judgement and belief in them. Letting them take over our soul and carry its emotions, we are in agreement in aligning them with given actions.

When the strangers car veered onto their lane, she experienced fright and she stayed frightened for some time being, and she believes a normal human shall be like that. But must you value what others value? Working out her own truth, she learned that we do not have control over our minds, people put value on what a mob of people puts value on, and believe what a mob of people believes. Stepping aside to an unbothered place and being alone in peace aiming to find your own light should not be a difficult thing to endeavor. Most are not willing to give it a shot, and these 'most' people we put our lives upon the trends they set.

From conversing with her thoughts, she made a viewpoint that anger at how nature or life took its course was the source of that downfall.

A grimace veils her face symbolizing discomfiture as he admires her companion's state of mind and feels the opposite about hers.

"I accept that I stink at protecting my emotions." Leah talks in a gruff voice. "I constantly let other people's actions decide my feelings."

"Is that so?"

"Yes." She stared at Troy immensely, her eyes almost watery. "I got to say. You are the most interesting thing that ever happened to me."

"I appreciate your comment," Troy says as his half-smile widened.

"I need your smile."

"No Miss. I believe you need yourself 'your' smile."