68

You crest a tall hill several miles to the north of the camp and the scent of smoke once again tickles your sensitive lupine nose. The flickering flames on the horizon are hypnotizing and you find it almost impossible to look away.

"It's never an easy choice to leave your home behind," Ahote says between panting breaths as he climbs the hill behind you. "The first few days of my internment in Haven was one of the most difficult times of my life. Losing my home and freedom in the same moment." He grips your hand, and you can't tell if he's trying to comfort you, or if the elder himself is in need of reassurance. It's disconcerting, and for a moment you want to pull your hand away. But you don't. It's hard not to remember the elder going feral and attacking you, but you know it wasn't necessarily his fault. In fact, he barely seems to remember it, as far as you're able to tell. It's strange now that you think about it.

"Losing this is different, though," he continues. "I never truly felt at home here; Sonoma didn't want us elders underfoot. We all knew it. But we are as much werewolves as she is, and to her credit she's utterly loyal to the species. Too much so at times. There's a fine line between pride and fanaticism." He shakes his head. "You've been remarkably steady throughout all of this, Holstein. I always knew you had the potential for greatness." He looks you in the eyes, a deep, unsettling gaze. "How are you feeling? What are your thoughts for the future?"

You take a moment to collect your thoughts. All things considered, you'd been lucky. Well, luckier than most of those in Sonoma's rebel camp. Your closest friends and loved ones had survived and met up with your party as you made your escape. Tiva is ascending the hill behind you, deep in whispered conversation with Dena and Kotori. Bly stands alone at the other end of the hill, staring out at the flames much like yourself. It's been one of the most difficult nights of your life, and yet you recognize that it could easily have been so much worse.

The image of Augury's agonized muzzle flashes in your mind but you shove it aside. What could you have done? She was going to die anyway, right?

"How can we possibly plan for the future at this point? Everything we build gets taken from us."

"I have to stay optimistic. If we let despair take us over then we're done for."

"I'm so tired of fighting. How can we possibly keep doing this?"

"Even after all we've been through, we Haven wolves are still alive. That's something to be thankful for."

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Ahote clears his throat. "It wasn't long ago that I felt the same way. Do you know what got me through the darkest times?"

You shake your head, fighting a tenacious pull threatening to sweep you away into a dark sea of depression.

"I reminded myself that none of this is really about me at all," he says. "I thought about everyone who counts on me. My pack, family, and friends. If I give up, where does that leave them? Sometimes it's not about fighting for your own survival. Being a leader is about taking care of others who need you."

"And what if I don't want to be a leader?"

Ahote shakes his head. "I didn't either. Truthfully, a part of me always wanted to be able to follow someone else and stop the endless worrying. But someone has to stand up, and we don't always get to choose our role. We can't turn our backs on those who need us—we're just not built like that."

"You don't speak for me. I never asked for any of this."

"You're right. We have to be strong for those who need us."

"They deserve better than me. I can barely help myself."

"So you're saying that without us, they would all be dead or captured?"

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Ahote shakes his head. "Of course I don't speak for you; I can only speak for myself and from my experiences. But I've seen you fight for the people you care about and I've seen the way the others look to you. It doesn't matter that you didn't ask for this—it's yours regardless."

He pauses for a moment and looks out at the distant fires. "Somehow I got used to the way Haven dehumanized us. It became routine. But we should never forget what it really was. We were slaves, Holstein, and now we're free wolves. Freedom can sometimes feel like a burden, but we have the chance to make something of ourselves now. And I'm not going to give up until the world sees us as we are rather than what the government portrays us as. I'll admit though, the livestreaming interview may have been a mistake. I'm worried it will hurt us in the long run. We have our work cut out for us."

He takes a few steps back to look downhill. "The others are almost caught up. Sometimes I forget that I'm in pretty good shape as elders go. If you hadn't had the foresight to get us to dig that tunnel out from the compound I don't think half of us would have made it. Sonoma managed to kill more humans than anyone expected, but it wouldn't take many to pick us slow-moving old folk off in the dark."

"Heck of a view," Dena says from behind you. "I don't think we should stick around though."

"I think I'm getting too used to our homes going up in flames," Tiva says. "I just feel empty."

Elder Mitena crests the hill and then doubles over, breathing labored. Ahote rushes to her side before anyone else can react. When she finally has the breath to speak, she addresses the rest of you.

"I didn't want to tell you where we were going until we were free and clear of the camp," she says between labored breaths. "Sonoma wasn't the only one with secret contingency plans; we elders had a few tricks up our sleeves as well when we started to notice how off balance our great leader was." She gestures out to the east, where the woods begin to thin out. "We have two tour buses parked in a private lot about a mile east of here. It will be a tight fit, but I think we can get everyone in there."

"Better than walking for gods know how many days," Tiva says appreciatively.

"How did you manage to get the buses there without Sonoma knowing? Did you have contacts on the outside too?"

"Don't you think General Rivera will have the area watched for miles around? She'd notice two big buses on the move in the middle of the night."

"That's great and all, but where will we go once we get to the buses?"

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