Toying

This darkness, coldness of the environment, I was now used to it so much that it was like comfort place for me, I can't live without it now in a way. The brightness and light in never was my thing but still they always remind me of him.

He was the only person like light in my life, the only person who truly loved me, that one person who never gave up on me. It's been like years and so much has happened but he never changed despite the world. Everyone gave up on me and I , even myself gave up but he was always there believing in me.

Yet I know what I did had no excuse but it was needed to be done, it was what must be done. I can't just sit behind watching people move ahead of me, I can't just be the one falling. At least if I'm falling I'll drag those down who are responsible for this.

I always was quite growing up but there was this unheard voice inside of me that was screaming got help but no one was able to hear it, it was mask behind that fake smile.