Still love him

Jesse's POV

"Thanks for having me ". I stood up from the couch with a smile on my face, 

"I will surely miss you guys ". I murmured."

"But you promise to come see me, right?" Lilly asked 

"Of course darling I will ". I pulled her to myself and gave her a tight hug

"I'll miss you so much miss Jesse".she murmured those words 

"I'll call your dad, so I can talk to you okay?" 

"Really?".she asked while staring at me with those two sets of bulky eyes, that I love so much

"Of cause my dear, I'll talk to you from time to time, okay ?" I caress her hair and place kisses on her face before letting go of her.

"So it's goodbye then". Smith murmured 

"It is ". I said those words with a smile on my face.

"I'll miss you ".he murmured like a child, 

I chuckled softly before speaking up.

"You have my line, you can call anytime"

He nods his head but did not say a word.

"We haven't taken pictures, dad ". Lilly exclaims in shock, 

"Dad, please take a picture ". Lilly begged, 

"Alright princess ". Benson took the camera from the couch and stood in front of Lilly and me.

“Cheese” Lilly exclaims happily as Benson takes a picture of us.

"Is it beautiful?". Lilly rushed to Benson, so she could take a proper kook at the pictures.

"They are beautiful". She spoke happily.

I stared at her and was so happy that she was this cheerful despite she lost her mom in such age.

"I should go, I have dinner to catch up

"Yeah sure, bye miss Jesse ".they all said their farewells and I left the house.

The moment I left the house, I released a breath I never knew I was holding throughout my stay there.

I walk back to my apartment with a sign of relief.

I was almost by my door when I heard a familiar voice behind me, I did not need to turn to know who called out my name.

He walked over to me and stood before me, 

I move my gaze from him and swallowed nervously.

"Is there a problem ?". I asked 

He did not say a word rather he kept staring at me and I find it really strange.

"Benson". I called out his name, 

"Why do you look so familiar to me ".he murmured.

"It's feels like I have known you more than just a month, and I find it strange ".he muttered out those words while staring at me with curiosity.

I chuckled and swallowed nervously

"Maybe it's because we've been too close ". I murmured with a smile on my face.

"No, that's not it ".he locks eyes with me and I could how serious he was. 

He moves closer to me, and before I knew it his hand was on my cheek.

I was shocked at his behavior, but I did not say a word, neither did I push him away.

He gently caresses my cheek while staring into my eyes like he was trying to read through me.

"This feel so real and familiar like I have been doing it for a long time and I find it strange"

I swallowed nervously and looked away.

He moves his fingers from my cheek and moves them to my lips.

"And your lips there look so familiar, and it feels like I have been kissing them all my life".he murmured those words while staring at me 

"And to make things worst I'm deeply in love with you and its scares me ".he murmured those words and gently move his fingers on my face.

I felt my body shivers by his touch and I knew I have to do something.

Quickly I move away from him, 

"We are outside". I murmured while avoiding his gaze.

"I thought you are not the shy type ".he muttered those words in a serious tune while moving a bit closer to me,, but I move way.

"I think you should leave ". I murmured those words and rushed to my door.

I opened my door and rushed inside, making sure I lock the door behind me.

I signed in relief and lean on the door with my back.

That was close, so close.

I left my door and walk into my room, I lay on my bed and all that happened few minutes ago flash in my memory.

Was Benson trying to remember me, or has he started having back his memory.

I hissed and stood up from the bed.

I should be happy that he was trying to recognize me, but for strange reasons I felt it would be better if he doesn't.

He confessed that he was in love with me, what if he realized I was once in his life will he still love me or see me as a cheat.

I roughly ran my fingers through my hair in frustration and walked aimlessly in the room.

Should I tell him the truth or should I let his aunt tell him everything, I thought to myself.

Even if I tell him that I was once in his life, how do I explain to him how he lost his memory when I don't have the answer to it.

The ringing of my phone brought me out from my thought.

I went for the phone and saw that the caller was Daniel.

I hissed softly before picking up the call 

"Hey "

"Hey Jesse are you okay ?".he asked 

"Yeah sure, why did you ask "

"You sound dull".

"I'm fine, just a bit tired". I murmured.

"Alright, I just called to remind you of the dinner "

I chuckled softly before speaking up 

"Don't you worry, I haven't forgotten about it". I assured him 

"Alright, I'll pick you up by 6pm"

"Alright then, I'll be waiting". I replied to him and ended the call, 

I hissed in frustration and kept the phone on the bed.

Daniel is a nice guy, but I just can't see myself with another man, not when Benson is back in my life.

I knew Daniel was into me, but I think today is the best time to let him know I can't have feelings for him, not when I'm still deeply in love with Benson.