Chapter 176 - Ecchi

"There's only a few more things to go over, then we're finally done you two. Please don't fall asleep again Ikarus"

"Ariza-sama is right, this is for your special occasional so you really should pay attention Ikarus-sama"

"Heh, you hear that Ikarus?"

"Yeah yeah... not my fault Petra's body works as a perfect pillow"

'It's bullying Ikarus day today it seems, I feel asleep doing this yesterday and they still won't let it go'

Back at the church with me currently using Petra as a pillow on one of these pews, we're with wedding planner Ariza and pastor Charlotte once again finalizing the final details of this poxy wedding of ours. Unlike with the usual annoyance, I'm frustrated for a simpler reason this time around.

You see, me and Petra have 'agreed' to no woohoo until the wedding is finally over, I'm not going to go into the reason but it was decided during our last you know what session. Petra's clearly handling things perfectly fine because deep down, she knows I'm suffering and that pleases her, pure evil my woman is. We've only been doing this for the last two days and I'm already spent, the only satisfaction I can get right now is by using her legs as I please... that sounds weird.

"Now, where do you two plan on keeping the wedding rings? We need to keep them safe otherwise someone will end up forgetting them"

'Is that directed at me or Petra? No, Ariza's not like that, think she just means in general'

"Erm... on our fingers Ariza?"

"Heh, I don't think that's what she meant Ikarus, but I'm a little unsure as well"

Showing off the white gold ring I got way back from Petra, we both get confused looks from the women running this show. Have we both just said something stupid?

"You two know the difference between wedding and engagement rings, right? There's no problem if you want to use the same but would've thought you know about it"

"I never realized both Ikarus-sama and Petra-sama were so unsure about all this stuff. Isn't that common knowledge?"

Charlotte basically just called us dense in a really polite way. I mean, she has got a point, I completely forgot about that fact and Petra seems to have done the exact same. A shotgun wedding really would've suited us more than this.

"Hey, don't you two start getting funny with us because we're not used to this sort of crap, can you really blame us though? I couldn't care about the planning and Petra has no time to remember such mundane details. This would end up a literal nightmare if you two weren't around so seriously... thank you"

My brutal honesty seems to take them back a little, not sure why but I've never been great at understanding facial cues after all.

"Heh, we can always get the gnome to make us something quickly Ikarus, might as well send some more work his way"

At least this stupid issue is now sorted, now back to the lap pillow where hopefully I can pretend not to sleep. It definitely seems Charlotte and Ariza have become good friends planning out our wedding though.

"Uh... I think we're done then? Have I forgotten anything else Charlotte?"

"I don't think so Ariza-sama. If we have, we can always call those two back around later"

Despite knowing I've now got to get up because this meeting is basically over, I can't help but see if I can drag this out for just a tad longer. Lap pillows don't come about all too often and with the burden of no sex I now carry upon these feathery shoulders, I must savour every moment!

"Erm... Ah, where's Nathan anyways Charlotte? You two definitely should use this place when you finally decide to get married, it's comfortable as hell"

"Heh, think that's my lap more than anything else Ikarus. Pretty sure Nathan trains around this time"

"Eh!?! Where's this come from Ikarus-sama?"

Priestess nearly stumbles off the pew listening to me make that random comment, was that worth getting flustered over? It wasn't even a tease really.

"Nowhere, just it's a nice place considering it's a church... and the fact cultists run the place"

The funny thing is, this place didn't exist a couple of months ago, this church is actually one of the more recent things built on the second island around Penelope's tower. I never understood why it was built at first considering the Sierran religion is all but wiped out thanks to yours truly, thought it was another attempt at an invasion only for a split second until I found out why it was built.

It's a temple for worshiping the two queens... Yeah, I'm not freaking kidding, this church was literally built as a place so people could come and pray so we'd stay longer in town. You know the most annoying part? Once a week, it literally becomes the most densely populated area ANYWHERE on our islands. These idiots of ours really are unhinged...

"But marriage Ikarus-sama? Me and Nathan have only just gotten past the intimate bedtime stag-... oops"

Charlotte immediately puts her hand to her mouth thinking she's made a huge embarrassing mistake, as if any of us would say anything bad that's she's finally gotten past this hurdle. All I can do is be annoyed though.

'So, even priestess is getting some right now? To think I agreed to this week of pureness...'

__________

"Ikarus..."

Upon leaving the church, Petra decides now is the perfect time to seductively whisper in my ear. I've never been an ASMR sorta person but for my waifu, I could listen to her on repeat.

"...You'll never guess what I'm wearing underneath my robe?"

"Nothing? It's not as sexy considering I always go commando... Well, not right now but you know why"

"Heh, that I do Ikarus. I'll just show you then"

Petra the naughty vixen decides to slowly pull up one side of her robe revealing a leg covered in what looks to be one of those stockings from that lingerie set we've used so much before. She's all smiles as well despite the fact she knows exactly what she's doing.

'I hate her so much at times'

[<Ikarus needs to stop using hate for action that sparks a feeling of intense love>]

'Don't you start as well Aesa; you know I don't use hate correctly. I'm currently 'frustrated' with my future wife at the moment so don't make me hate my robotic one as well!'

"Seriously Petra? This is what we're doing today?"

Trying to look bored and not entertained at all, Petra knows that I can't help but look if she's going to do stupid shit like this.

"Heh, what if I were to bend over instead then?"

Petra stretches out touching her toes presenting me with the ever so faint outline of both her cheeks under her robe. I really need some help if this is what today is going to consist of, that or I'll just run away.

"Not hot at all Petra, the robe makes your bottom look flat"

'Freaking Petra man, she's using this chance to turn us into an ecchi or something! Why the hell did I agree to this!? Her arse doesn't look flat at all! All plump and juicy, brilliant as always'

"Heh, flat!?! Looks like I'll have to step up my game if you're this resistant to my charm then Ikarus"

Just as Petra's conjuring up what next devilish scheme to conduct, another soul ends up passing by us but of course, just can't help but say hello.

'The maid Eve, what a freaking surprise. It just had to happen when Petra's trying to make my life a living hell'

"Heh, fancy meeting you here Eve"

"Yeah, why aren't you at home working?"

"I was getting groceries for the home since if I don't now, it'll be porridge tomorrow morning! It's nice and all but not a meal fit for the queens"

When it comes to serving us, our maid has always been really eager. I bet she visits that church like the rest of the idiots in town as well, I can tell she's about to say something idiotic as well...

"Say Queen Petra... did you end up doing that idea you had? You know the one with the metal thing?"

"Heh, no comment Eve"

'I freaking knew the maid was involved in what happened! Petra's pervy and all but even she has a limit to how far she'll go, this maid is out to get me man! Next, I'm going to start receiving suspiciously tasting honeyed tea at this rate...

"So, you did use it then!? How did it go!? Please please please, tell me everything!"

"Heh, I'm happy to discuss some things with you Eve but maybe this might a little much?"

"Pleaseee! I won't tell a soul, I promise!"

"Heh, hmm... only if Ikarus says it's fine"

...

"You two are mad, I'm leaving now..."

__________

Now in a quiet corner of the world, funnily enough an empty bar area of an inn, I'm currently having a drink while doodling on some paper. Sure, midday drinking isn't exactly good for the soul but I need a fix right now, that damn maid of ours presses Petra way too much on this sorta thing. It's odd how that's the issue I'm focusing on rather the people knowing just how kinky we can be...

"What are up to orangey?"

'Ah, nearly forgot this is the inn Zeki and Ariza live at. Can already tell Ria's here just by taking one look at him'

"Just plotting a way I can either kill off or fire the maid without Petra knowing. She's corrupting her, I know it!"

For the record, killing her is a joke! Petra was also always corrupted but I like that part of her, I'm more just cranky really.

"Welcome to my word orangey. If you think sis is bad, at least you don't have to deal with a toxic cow obsessed with jugs"

"She stole one of Ariza's potions, I assume?"

Zeki, the Amazonian queen dressed in what basically is a costumed bodysuit takes a seat alongside me scoffing when both of us hear another set of footsteps coming from the bedroom area. Huh, guess his hair looks pretty messy as well, those two have also been up to something.

"He-he-he, not this time Ikarus, Loki himself sent me one. Zeki's going to look so great at the wedding!"

'She made him like that for the wedding? Bridesmaid Zeki incoming, that's definitely going to make the big day even more encouraging'

"Erk... Oh right, that reminds me of something, we've got to have a man to man talk orangey, it's a good thing you're here"

Listening to Zeki say man to man when I'm dressed in a kimono and he looks like he owns an invisible plane or something, I'm struggling not to laugh. Us 'men' couldn't be manlier if we tried!

"Take this whatever way you want kid but that talk, is freaking pointless. As if I'd ever hurt Petra nor could you do anything even if I did. You forgetting the duel we had which you surrendered to?"

"Erk, can't you at least allow me to have something orangey? I've got to contend with this bitch, at leas-, ouch! Really cow!?"

Zeki finds a strong whack to the back of his head for the dryad dressed in her usual green bikini garb, that one seemed like it was deserved, I think?

"You weren't calling me a bitch when I was just treating you like one back in there, were you girly boy? We can go for round two anytime to see who the real bitch is!"

"Fuck off cow, can't you tell I'm trying to protect sis's heart from orangey's wicked nature? We'll go screw again in a minute, where was I again? Where's orangey gone?"

'No way in hell am I getting in-between them while they're in the middle of a 'sparring' session'

I kinda made haste and got the hell out of there when Ria said something about Zeki being a bitch. It doesn't matter how vague it was, that image isn't going to be leaving my head anytime soon...

__________

"Heh, Ikarus... where are you?"

'She knows exactly where I am, as if I could forget that phoenix stalking ability she has'

Where on these stupid islands surrounded by stupid people could I be? Well, I thought I might as well join them at this point so I'm currently in our bedroom walk-in closet. Why? Because I'm definitely NOT scoffing at entire cake I promised to share with Petra.

"Heh, just come out the closet already Ikarus, no one will judge you"

'We're seriously doing gay jokes as well? Eh, might as well get all the stupid out before we get married I suppose'

"Fine... just stop going on with all the sexual stuff already, I'm bored of it now"

Quickly hiding away the non-existent tray of sponge cake that definitely hasn't been eaten, I leave the closet only to be greeted by a still happy Petra blocking the exit. I know what's about to happen and this is going to be teasing I struggle to fight off.

"Have no idea what you're on about Ikarus... Say, you reckon I can touch my elbows together? Like this?"

'For the love of God! She even has to bring her breasts into this teasing fiasco she's going through!? It's like all the suggestive stuff I've missed from having low perception has just piled up to this one day!'

Do I really have to describe how things look when a lady puts their elbows together and seductively winks at you? Let's just say it's quite a traumatic sight when you're especially into boobs and dark phoenixes.

"Seriously Petra, you've got to stop it now. There's only so much my heart, and other area, can take!"

I mumble that other area part under my breath but she definitely still heard it, she knows how much torture this is putting me through! I'll seriously start begging if she continues because this bird is slowly going mad! Two freaking days, there's still five more until the wedding...

"Heh, I'm not doing all that much though Ikarus, you've seen everything there is to see before"

"You know exactly what you're doing Petra! This isn't one of those things where I've suddenly gained perception due to being deprived, you're purposely going out your way to tease me even more than normal"

Today may not seem like that much but I'm like a dog with a toy with this. I can go days, even weeks without needing for sweet loving but the second it's gone, every fibre of my being wants Petra's booty! Damn, I think marring Petra is going to turn me into a right perve, as if I really care though.

"Heh, we only agreed on no sex Ikarus. In your 'deprived' state, you've yet to kiss or even hug me today, wouldn't that ease it up a little?"

"But earlier I... wait, didn't you kiss me at the church while I was on your lap? Or did I dream that?"

"Heh, so that was what you were dreaming about? And here I thought your dreams were always explicit"

You know, Petra actually brings up a point. Why is it I always have to go straight to the good stuff instead of just enjoying the little things in life? I can just fight all the temptations by replacing them for other God tier things. Petra, cake, alcohol and more Petra!

"I mean, a lot of them with you are explicit, and that one ended pretty explosively as well, but enough about all that! Let's do nothing for the rest of the day except talking, hugging and kissing in bed! You gotta problem with that?"

Inner deprived tsundere Ikarus coming out, I feel like I need this after all this torture I've been getting. This would be a perfect time to binge on a series and chill but this no time to be missing technology now.

"Heh, that actually sounds like a really nice idea Ikarus"

Just as I'm about to get comfy and then so smother the life out of Petra, a nagging voice beckons from the heavens.

[<Ikarus... can Aesa join in as well?>]

'You know I mean literal hugging, right Aesa? There's going to be no funny business going on whatsoever'

Aesa has always taken after me and been a little weird, she rarely comes out and one of the more noticeable occasions was for intimacy. I guess this is kind of the same situation?

[<Aesa does come out more than Ikarus realizes, even left the clone body in settlement case needed information relayed across continents. Aesa is just a little bored and lonely right now>]

'Huh, didn't know that... and you can feel loneliness!? I feel like you're playing with me here, this definitely won't end in sex Aesa. You can join if you're not being impure though...'

"...Petra, you mind if Aesa joins in with the hugging? She's apparently 'lonely'"

"Heh, she said that Ikarus? Sure, she can join in, tell her no funny business though"

"Already done that, let's get comfortable then... wait, I'm going to turn around while you're putting something more comfortable on. Ignore the temptations and all that..."

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