Switzerland

When we got to the Cullens house it was to find an argument in full swing.

"Why did you even call him?" Rosalie snarled.

"The girl was Beau's friend, Rosalie," Alice responded just as angrily.

"He doesn't have a right to be concerned about the humans in his old life, anymore. That's one of the many perks of being a vampire."

Jake looked at me in shock at Rosalie's words.

"Enough," Carlisle said loudly.

I headed inside the house through the front door then, not wanting to give it a chance to start back up. Jake was right behind me.

"Exactly who was my friend?" I asked.

Everyone turned to look at me. Rosalie and Alice were standing toe to toe, both of their faces set in scowls – at least until Alice saw me, then her face relaxed... even as Rosalie's scowl became more pronounced. Emmett was sitting on the couch and I was relatively sure that, if he'd been human, he would have been munching on a bowl of popcorn while they'd been arguing. Jasper was leaning against the wall, and Carlisle and Esme were further back, both of their postures concerned.

Edward was the furthest from everyone and the guilt of what I'd agreed to with Jacob as well as my secrets – I was more certain than ever – that I could never tell him, had me looking down and away from him almost immediately. After all, even Jake had seen it as being unforgivable.

Alice darted over to me almost immediately.

"About time you got here," she muttered surreptitiously.

"What's going on?" I asked, looking at Alice.

I could feel Jake at my back and I could sense Edward staring at me. I refused to acknowledge either, because when it came to them I knew I was in a losing situation. I didn't love Jake and couldn't really be with him in spite of what I'd agreed to, and at the same time, I truly couldn't be with Edward. Any hope I'd had that we could work it out had been snuffed out.

"We haven't been telling you about something going on in Seattle, but..." Alice trailed off.

"I'm aware that there are newborns in Seattle. Jake told me."

Emmett almost immediately did a little fist pump even as Jasper's teeth came together. I looked between the two of them. I tried not to, but it was impossible for my eyes to not see where Edward stood or the pained expression on his face as he looked at me... and more specifically at Jake who stood behind me. I looked down.

Thankfully, Alice decided to ask my question for me. "Do you two ever not gamble?"

"Nope," Emmett stated proudly.

I shook my head, then focused back on Alice. "So, what about Seattle?"

Suddenly Alice, the one who'd called me, didn't know what to say. She looked away from me, looking at the other Cullens for a suggestion.

It was Rosalie that spoke up, finally. "Angela Weber has disappeared in Seattle."

My eyes snapped to her. Rosalie wasn't quite as coolly aloof as her voice would lead one to believe. She looked troubled – saddened even.

"What do you mean she's disappeared?"

Rosalie opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out, and then she suddenly shrugged and turned on her heel, quickly heading out the siding glass doors.

Emmett got up. "I should follow her," he murmured and then he took off after her.

I blinked in confusion.

"She moved to Seattle this last winter after graduating early. I guess she hadn't called her dad in about a week, so her dad filed a missing person's report. There was an article in the Forks Forum today. She's officially listed as missing. It's possible – likely even – that she just ran off or something, but given what is happening in Seattle, there's another possibility."

The words quickly became a soft background. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I recognized it as Edward telling me this, trying to be gentle about it... but they wouldn't have called me here if any of them believed that Angela had just decided to run away and join the circus or something.

"You think she's dead." I looked directly at Edward, trying to get confirmation on what he was trying to tell me.

"It's possible..." His words sounded doubtful.

"But that wouldn't make sense because the bodies have usually been found within a short amount of time. These newborn vampires aren't really trying to hide their handiwork," I mumbled the words, stewing over everything as I looked back down. If she'd gone missing over a week ago... then she shouldn't be missing anymore. My eyes snapped back up. "You think she's been turned?"

"It's a definite possibility," he said softly.

I turned to look at Alice. "Have you seen her?"

She grimaced. "No, but I'm also not at all attuned to her. She's just someone that went to Forks High School to me. And for the short time I was in school after you were turned but before we –" she broke off before throwing in "– well, you remember... I never really bothered to get to know her even then. It would have been suspicious for me to try so soon after your funeral before junior year was over – and by the time senior year started, she was very closed off from everyone. It was true that she still sat with her friends, but she barely talked to them... losing her mom was hard on her."

"So you don't know one way or the other for sure? Is that what I'm hearing?"

"Well, not exactly. I've been getting flickering visions since we first figured out what was going on in Seattle. None of the visions make much sense to me, a red shirt, a tall boy with long dirty blond hair that I can't focus on, someone screaming, maybe some sort of battle, maybe some sort of killing spree... There are so many different flickers, it's enough to give me a headache – and vampires aren't supposed to get headaches. Yesterday, I saw a really random flicker of you fighting a female vampire. I didn't think anything of it, at the time, the vision barely lasted a tenth of a second and it was very blurry. The vision could have been a hundred years into the future for all I knew. It didn't show much. It wasn't until we read the article about Angela being missing that I started to wonder if the vampire I'd seen hadn't been her." Alice sighed. "I'm not saying it was her, even. I'm just saying that it's a possibility... she looked somewhat similar, but between it being so blurry and the fact that I haven't seen her since last September – well I don't know if she's lost weight or what. I just can't be certain if it was her, or just someone who looked similar, not without more facts."

I shook my head adamantly as I took a step back. "I don't know what you saw, but I wouldn't fight a friend. I wouldn't." But wasn't that the other reason that I wasn't with Edward even now? Because more than just being terrified of Edward's possible hatred of me and afraid that my secrets being out in the open could cause the breakdown of the family unit.. I was petrified that I could just snap and become that monster at any moment and physically hurt one or more of the people I loved the most in the world. It was why I'd stayed with the wolves all this time, so I could learn to have a hundred percent control, a hundred percent of the time.

Jasper cursed which caused me to look at him, though I instantly wished I hadn't, because he was staring at me intently. His eyes were narrowed in what – I could only assume – was pain.

"There's no guarantee she'd even remember you," Alice said quickly. "Assuming it even was her that I saw. Like I said, I'm not sure that it was. My gift isn't a perfect art, and when it's as blurry as what I watched – even more so."

"But you're sure enough that you brought me here to warn me." My mouth shaped the words, and I was sure all the Cullens still in the room could see them perfectly, but there was no voice behind it. I couldn't remember how to breath, couldn't remember why I'd ever returned from Europe. I should have stayed where being a monster wouldn't harm the people I cared about.

I shook my head again and then I spun, racing around Jake and out the same door I originally came in. I'd felt Jake reach out to grab my arm, but I was past him before he got the chance.

I was in the forest line before I started to hear Jake's snarled words. "You really are stupid vampires. You have no idea what you just –"

And then I was out of hearing range, running as fast as I could, though I knew Jake would be able to find me. He'd know right where I'd go – he was the only one who would – and even though a part of me wanted it to be Edward who'd find me... I knew it wouldn't be, because he never came.

…

I was standing at the edge of the cliff, looking out at the water. The water was turbulent, to the point of being deadly, at least for a human. Part of me wished I was still human, at least then I'd know what kind of a person that I really was. I'd know if I could ever trust myself with anyone. I'd thought I was getting there. In the six hunting trips I'd went on with Jake since I'd returned two months ago, he'd only had to hurt me the first two times... and the last time I'd hunted with him, I'd even been able to stop mid-hunt and redirect, but apparently it wasn't enough. Apparently I was just the monster after all.

"You going to jump?" The voice that called out wasn't Jake. I knew her soft feminine voice well, after all, she was the most stoic of my bodyguards.

I didn't turn to look. "Leah."

She stepped up right beside me. "It's an interesting thought, to jump, not for some sport, but to die. Trust me, there are days when – if it could kill either of us – I'd join you."

"You don't mean that." She'd never do that to her mom or her brother.

"Don't I?" Her words were muttered darkly enough that I looked at her. "At least you have places you can run to, Beau. I don't have that. I could flee halfway around the world and even then... the first time I shifted I'd still be connected to those who know my shame. I'd still instantly hear the voice of someone in my head who knows I was too much of a freak to be the imprint to the man I love. In fact I'm so much of a freak that I gave my dad a heart attack that killed him. My dad – who was able to walk by you without so much as flinching only a couple of weeks prior to that."

"Leah, it wasn't your fault. Your father had a heart disease. It's pure luck that seeing me in Sam's house that one time didn't cause the same effect –"

She cut me off. "And if you were in my shoes, what would you believe?"

My mouth snapped shut.

There was deafening silence for a minute before I finally found my voice. "You should talk to Carlisle, Leah. I read the medical charts that your mom got from the doctors about your dad at Jake's insistence, but I'm not a medical professional. All of my knowledge is purely theoretical. Carlisle could explain it to you better than I can, but your father was a... ticking time bomb, for lack of better words, anything could have caused him to pass away. The fact that he was there when both your brother and you shifted might have hastened his death, but he wouldn't have survived another six months, no matter what. He knew it too. That much I got from the charts for sure, the local doctor on the res had informed him of his condition, Leah. Perhaps if he'd wanted to go to a specialist or something, there might have been some sort of treatment out there, but Harry was a proud man, and he wasn't getting any sort of treatment.

"I suspect – though I can't be certain, of course – that was why he wasn't afraid when he saw me that one time. It's hard to fear death when you already know it's coming for you." I looked back out at the ocean. "At least your dad got to find out you're destined for greatness. I know you love Sam, but perhaps the reason he imprinted on Emily is because there's someone else out there for you. It seems, with your species especially, that destiny just has to have it's own way."

"Really? Then why are you a vampire, Beau?"

"I'm not Jacob's imprint, Leah. In spite of the fact that he wants to believe it... I know that's wrong. I was always supposed to be a vampire."

"Then why are you with us instead of with the Cullens?"

"Because. It's safer."

"It's insane. I'd give anything to be with Sam again and here you are, with us, when your mate is in Forks. I'd almost understand it if you thought, as Jacob did, that you were supposed to be his imprint, but you don't think that. So why are you so desperate to be away from the man you love?"

"Because I can't be with him."

"According to who?"

"According to me." My fists clenched angrily. "My time alone in Europe taught me a lot about myself. I did a lot in my three weeks away – including the fact that I am willing to help torture and destroy a stranger – a vampire who I didn't know, who I hadn't really ever met." The words were out before I could have stopped them. I shook my head angrily. "And now I just found out that I'm apparently meant to get in a fight with someone who was once my friend. If I can do that type of stuff, then I could hurt the ones I love. I won't let myself be a threat to them."

"But you'll let yourself destroy Jacob's life?"

"I wanted to leave two months ago, Leah."

"Then why haven't you?"

"Do you really want to be forced to join Sam's pack so he can chase me down? You know he'd do it. He's got to be the most stubborn person I've ever met."

"You're a vampire, there are plenty of places you could go that he couldn't follow."

"You're right. If I really wanted to hide, there are places I could go that he'd never find me. Mexico, China, back to Volterra... the bottom of the ocean. The thing is, he'd still try – he's the only one that would try – and if I was in one of those places... He'd be hurt. I won't be responsible for that. I won't. He's the one person that wants me enough to actually fight for me. That means something." I placed my hand over my chest. "Here. I can't explain it, fully, but I know Jake loves me and – though I don't feel the same – it does give me strength, hope. I don't exactly see all of you as family, it's not that strong, but I'd protect any one of you. I'd come to any of your aid. It's far too little, and far too late, but I need the atonement. And helping the pack gives me that."

She didn't say anything for a moment, and when she did, it wasn't what she was expecting. "Mixing love and devotion is a dangerous game, Beau." Leah looked backwards toward the forest. "Jake is coming for you now. Which means it's time for me to go." She gave me a sardonic smile before diving off of the cliff. When she hit the water, she wasn't in her human form any longer.

Moments later, hundreds of pieces of clothing landed on the water.

I wasn't a hundred percent certain what to make of the conversation we'd had, but perhaps there was more of a camaraderie between her and I than I'd originally believed.

"Beau!" Jake shouted loudly from a little ways into the the forest.

I turned to watch him approach.

As he reached me, I knew he could smell that Leah had been here, but he didn't comment on it. Instead he reached forward and took my hand.

"Come with me, I want to show you something."

…

We ended up at Charlie's house.

"Why are we here, Jake?"

"As you know, my dad has been spending a ton of time with your dad. dad's a La Push elder, so we're naturally going to protect our own. It's usually Collen or Brady assigned to be around when Billy is here, but occasionally I have Seth do it, though he hates being given 'the baby job' per his words. Your dad went to La Push about two weeks ago on a day I had Seth assigned to watch him, he went to Port Angeles and he followed. He told me what he was there for and what he got. I want you to see it for yourself."

He'd started claiming they were watching Billy, but I'd heard him slip when he admitted that Seth had been watching him. I raised my eyebrow at him, but he ignored me and stepped over to my dad's cruiser. He opened the passenger door – unlocked, because this was Forks and no one was stupid enough to steal from the chief of police – and opened up the glove box. He grabbed something out and tossed it at me.

I caught it on reflex. In my hand a small dark purple, crushed velvet box. It looked like a jewelry box – the kind men spent fortunes on for their woman. I opened the lid hesitantly. Inside was a ring. It wasn't huge, a simple gold band a small diamond sent into a tear shaped casing, I was pretty sure it was called a pear cut.

"I don't know when he's planning to propose, Beau, but he definitely hasn't been seeing anyone other than my dad yes I know this is shocking for you Charlie is bisexual he chuckled at my shocked expression. If they get married, he'll be able to be treated as part of the tribe. He'll be able to find out what you are, he'll be able to be a part of your life again. He'll be Switzerland when it comes to the vamps, because he'll be protected by us."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, my voice was choked.

"To remind you that there are things to live for. To remind you that you deserve happiness." He was watching me, his jaw set stubbornly.

I shook my head, not in denial, but also not in agreement. Then I closed the box and handed it back to him so he could put it back in the car.

…

"I'll see you tomorrow and we'll go hunting together," he said as he stood in front of me at the cabin.

"Okay," I said softly – though it wasn't an agreement.

He took my hands and squeezed them once tightly before he stepped back and headed off to go home to sleep.

The instant he was out of sight, I went into the cabin.

I knew he wouldn't see me tomorrow, because I wasn't going to be here tomorrow. I put my cellphone on the cot, setting my laptop beside it. Then I picked my backpack up off the ground and pulled it onto my back.

My cellphone started to ring as I headed out the door. I knew if I headed back to the phone it would be Alice. She'd be the only one who would call right now.

I didn't go back to it.

…

The run to Seattle was easy, uneventful even, but when I made it to the train yard, separated by over a dozen rail tracks, I saw her.

"I'm surprised to see you here, Beau," she said from across the yard.

"Not as surprised as I am to see you."

authors note

so what did you guys think of that little surprise ;)