It's All Coming Back To Me Now

Nadia Eleanor Herman.

Daughter of Marquis Leon Herman and Marchioness Helen di Angelo.

In the novel, The Forest of Stars, she was known as the evil woman who kept harassing Estelle. She was obsessed with power, craved for it. That was the reason why she chased the Crown Prince even though they were literally cousins and tormented Estelle a lot.

She was the definition of obnoxious, vile, and nasty. Nadia doesn't even hesitate to hurt the people around her. She was that terrible!

She committed almost all heinous crimes there are, I tell you. Kidnapping Estelle, and other women who she deemed annoying and illegally detaining them. She abused most of her attendants, hitting them for even the slightest mistake.

She might have even killed people before, who knows. It wasn't mentioned in the novel but knowing Nadia, she might really have done that.

All her misdeeds just kept piling up until everything just blew on her face and kidnapping Estelle hit the final nail on her coffin.

Janus Cromwell, the empire's greatest magician, killed her after Estelle was rescued from her abduction. She didn't die prettily either, she died nasty.

I don't want to say how she died but it involves some voodoo sh-t so yeah. An appropriate ending for an evil person like her.

And now, I can't believe I had become her. Her. Nadia herself. That very same b-tch.

I am going to die in the future as well.

Grasping my forehead with my hands, I heaved a deep sigh full of exasperation. What the heck am I supposed to do now? Can I even go back to my world?

My heart was grieving, and annoyed. Why, in tarnation, in all places, did I have to be transmigrated in the body of a devil. I could be in a maid's body, or a cat, or a plant! Why must it be her?

"How old am I right now?" I prodded, mind racing with thoughts. I feel like my head's going to burst any minute.

"You are 15, milady." She answered.

The same as me huh.

Chewing my lower lip, my eyes brightened with excitement.

That's kind of great actually! If I remembered it correctly, the story started when Estelle was 19. Nadia didn't appear until in the middle of the story, so there's still a chance that I could evade my ending! That I could change everything! Without me dying!

Vigor coursed throughout my body. I feel energetic all of a sudden. My heart was singing, and I could hear angels playing trumpets in the distance.

Ahh! My salvation!

"But why are you asking me these things milady?" Erin questioned. She looked nervous as well like she's afraid that I might get offended.

I stopped celebrating for a while and looked at her. Just then, memories from the past few days entered my mind and I instantly reddened.

Oh my God!

I remembered my actions from the first day and flushed, even more, when I thought about what my maids think when they saw me acting like a crazed person.

Oh my God, I even cried!

I sat there in horror, reminiscing what transpired on the third day. How I made everyone panicked because of my sudden screaming and sobbing episode.

I am normally a calm and sharp person who wouldn't be fazed by emotions but, I was panicking okay! I'm on different land, after all, I don't know any of these people! It just burst out like that, you can't blame me.

I gave Erin a nervous smile. I probably look weird in their eyes now...

"Actually, I…" I was searching my brain for reasons, but they all sounded lame.

"I have… amnesia?"

There was silence. Neither of us spoke.

I mentally hit myself for that stupid reason I just gave. I didn't sound sure myself when I said it.

Amnesia? Really? You could not even think of something better?

"D-don't tell them!" I added, staring at her wide-eyed. "I mean, I just forgot some things but I am totally fine!"

Erin, who looked bewildered, nodded in understanding. I like this girl…

"How long have you been working here?" I inquired.

Erin shyly looked away for a second then answered.

"I've been working here for 5 years now, but have just recently attended you milady."

Ahh. She looked older than me for only a few years but who knows if she's in her mid-twenties and might have just a babyface.

"So you know what had happened within these past few years? Can you tell me? What have I done? Everything!"

I have never really known much about Nadia except for her behavior but what I know is that her mother died long before from an accident.

She also hates cats and animals in general. Why though? Cats are cute creatures!

Ah! Now that I mentioned that, I read in the novel before that she really disliked animals and had kicked a stray cat before when it suddenly appeared in front of her.

Other than that, I know nothing. That is why I'm gathering information, so I would know what to do from here on.

"Well…" She shuffled in her seat and kept pinching her uniform. She was brimming with hesitation.

"It's okay. Tell me honestly, I won't get mad." I prodded. I'm not the same Nadia before you know so it's fine! I won't hurt you!

Her eyes darted again, glancing at me nervously.

"Y-you tend to get mad when you want something and not get it, then you'll throw a tantrum until the Marquis gives in." She started.

I didn't say anything and just looked at her expectantly, waiting for more.

"You also get in arguments with your brother a lot." I nodded. Nadia and Nathaniel have a bad relationship with each other, which is understandable.

Come to think of it. I met Nathaniel on the first day and he seriously hated me then.

"Did I hurt anybody?"

"Y-yes. Most of them are your past attendants, milady." She replied and bit her lip.

"Did I… hit you before?" I carefully inquired.

Erin's eyes wavered and looked down at her fidgeting hands. I was holding my breath, waiting for her answer which I didn't need. Just looking at her figure, I could already tell.

"Y-yes…" She whispered. "Because I spilled your tea."

Damn Nadia! That b-tch! How could she hurt someone just for that small incident!

"I'm sorry," I uttered. I put my feelings in those words, truly apologetic even if I didn't do it myself.

She jerked her head up, looking at me with wondrous eyes. I offered her a small smile and touched her hand.

"I'm truly sorry. I was dumb and I know I can't undo it but, I hope you can forgive me."

The first step to do is to apologize and correct all of Nadia's past actions. If I'm possessing this body anyway, I don't want to be remembered as a mean spoiled brat.

"It is fine milady. I had forgiven you already." She said and smiled. It was a genuine smile that brightened up her face and I nearly cried. She's such an angel…

Nadia could learn a thing or two from her. Too bad she's gone.

Wait a minute. If I'm possessing her body, then where the heck is her soul? Are these even real though? I mean, this is the novel world, right? They're only characters, but are they really? I bled before and even felt like these are all reality…

I need answers!

"Say, Erin, can you show me the library?" I suddenly croaked and stood up from the bed.

"Of course milady. But, aren't you hungry? You haven't eaten anything yet." She responded and also stood up.

I shook my head.

"Just show me the library first and then you can bring me snacks there."

Erin nodded and helped me slip on my robe before we both came out of my room. Some people who, for some reason, were camping outside my room immediately sprang in action.

"I am fine now everyone, you don't need to do this anymore." I voiced out.

I noticed their sighs of relief. I bet it's not because I was a-okay, but because they don't need to wait for me anymore. It was an obvious disrespect but I didn't say anything.

If I wanted to change my image, then I should do it bit by bit and not force it. After all, if I forced myself on them, they might hate me more. They would think I'm a girl with a few loose screws in the head. It would be really weird if I get all clammy with them all of a sudden. Even I would find it creepy and would think that I'm hatching another ploy again.

I inwardly nodded and added another goal to my list. To befriend the workers in the estate and change my image from a spoiled brat to a noble lady worthy of the Herman surname.

With that in mind, Erin and I made our way to the family library.