Three point of view

She once told me...that I was not a bad guy.

The phrase might be void for her or must have meant nothing, or actually meant a lot since it was coming from her.

I chose to believe the third option.

First time she and I opened up to each other, I was fucking sure about the poor kid.

Edrei was of her age, almost.

May be little elder. Would they have been friends if met under different circumstances? Could me and Ace have still been friends together without me ruining it in the most delicate moment? Most importantly, if I had met neither of them, would they both have met?

Leading them to being such a dangerous situation?

I gave up on Ace a long time back.

Not because he was actually guilty of something, I had accused him to. But because he wasn't. He was there. He was fucking there beside me, when I almost collapsed from a hard hit by life. He held me.

And what the fuck did I do?

Witness a shit ass situation, and ratted out on him in a heartbeat without even trusting him???

I realized my worth after that!

I was guilty, I was so wrong, I was so fucking mistaken! I ruined his fucked-up life!

It wasn't Edrei.

It was Ace, whose guilt kept on eating me since he left me.

NO!! Since I pushed him away from me. Those eyes, which I loved to death, which were looking me in angst, disgust, shock and disappointment while being dragged away during which I didn't even spare him a single sympathetic glance …...have turned my never-ending nightmares.

I could never forget those.

I threw away my life, I couldn't live with it.

I searched for him. Every mental hospital, detention centre, rehab and even prison in the city. His trance had been almost erased.

I was devastated, broken and completely pressured with guilt. I realized how much I needed him, and also betrayed him!

I started drinking! I drank a lot, like a bitch fuck. I smoked like a maniac and hit up often. A few street rats started following me in the business. None were Ace, I still kept looking for him. Any blonde hair, and I would pace up to see if it's him. Still no Ace.

I gave up!

Gave up on Ace!

Tried to ......at least.....

Jay's step in my life was rather sudden. Not planned at all.

I was surprised to find such young hit up, and acting rather familiar.

The symptoms were very similar. The way she begged me to hit her up, but kept her ego. Her way of talking or the perfect natural art of sarcasm. Or her intensity to endure pain for the sake of survival.

The more I tried helping her, the more the guilt started devouring me.

Ace did plead to me a few times like that.

"I don't feel that good"

"Help m-me, please ....it hurts bad"

"I w-won't make it, I can't"

"Ace, it's all in your head. Nothing has happened to you, it's exaggeration"

That was the fucked up of a reply I could manage for him. Only if I had done anything for him at that time, things could have been different for him. And that's too when, I finally had overcome depression by his help and could afford such a bitch of an attitude.

Yes! I know, I know he murders!

He kills!

All the innocent girls, might or might not be, are slaughtered by him!

I had seen him, but turned a blind eye. Perhaps it might make up for what I had caused him to become. I couldn't face him.

After all this time ....

I still loved him!

But he wasn't any same. His emotions were killed by me.

But things changed .... when I saw that!!!

I saw him ...kissing her!

Jay!

With her, things could have been a little different. She wasn't much open, not cheerful or a bubbly girl of her should be. No sass or attitude. Anything far from Edrei too. But unintentionally, the kid discovered a way for me. Doesn't matter the wild ways I chose for her to recover such fucked up tendencies, but I couldn't let her become like him.

She was still untainted.

Her will to survive was strong enough.

She didn't give up to her remedies, so easily like Ace.

I knew, that's the only help I could afford her. Light beatings or shoot ups perhaps. I always maintained a limit, and didn't let her get addicted. She was healing, she was doing good …I knew she was …...it wasn't the need, but my urge to protect her!

I wanted to save her.

I resisted drinking, smoking and taking hits after I met her.

I took it as a chance, maybe for my own crimes! For salvation.

"You're not a bad guy Travis"

That one line practically saved me, brought me back from grave.

With, or without Ace's influence .... I'm sure she's just brainwashed. And I couldn't let that continue. I resorted to lies to plant doubts in her mind, but she has taken the relationship too far to distrust the guy.

She trusted me, that I was not a bad guy.

But if with Ace ...she'll surely become one!

I didn't care if she would hate me for it, but since I wasn't the bad guy, I had to do it. To save her at least. The only 2 people I ever cared about, slowly vanished before my eyes.

But not her!

I won't let her.

No matter what it takes.

Even I had to sacrifice Ace for it.

Since, I wasn't the bad guy!