Last Conversation Part 1

My name is Rainata Deviana Senja. I am an only child. I'm the daughter of a rich man, but instead of being happy with all the facilities, on the contrary, with all that I have I'm never happy at all. My parents are always busy looking for Money...Money...Money and Money without ever paying attention to me at all. I think they just spoiled me with luxurious facilities and extravagant money.

My parents are never home, they never accompany me just to have dinner at the dining table. I'm lonely, I feel that I live alone, in a big house like this palace, there's only me alone and Katty who is my favorite cat, and a few maids who take care of all the work in this house.

Before I never felt lonely like this, even though I don't get love from my biological parents, at least I used to have friends from childhood until I was in 1st grade of junior high school. Until one day my best friend left without giving me any news, he suddenly disappeared from my life. And sadly I love him, very dear. I already consider him more than just a friend. He.. He is my best friend as well as my first love…

Since the time he left I stopped loving myself like I used to love him. Until now I still love him, even though I don't know where he is now, but I believe and believe that one day he will come back to see me and explain everything, I believe that.

He is the one who makes me always cheerful, enthusiastic lives my life, comforts me when I feel sad, accompany me when I feel lonely, he is everything to me. He can be a very understanding friend. He can be a big brother figure who always protects me and takes care of me, and he will always be a man figure who loves me with all his heart.

But everything was gone since the day he left, everything changed. My life that was once colored like a rainbow has turned gray. I stopped hoping, I stopped believing, I'm not the old me anymore, cheerful. I always smile with my mask so people don't know how ruined my life is right now. All I did was cover everything well without the slightest gap, but it was like an atomic bomb to me. I am weak, I am fragile, the longer I feel the more powerless I feel to live my life. Until one day I thought of ending my life.

I don't believe in love, I don't believe that in my life there will be happiness again. My family just never cared about me. He is the light in my life, the light in the darkness. He is my best friend as well as my first love, he is also lost like swallowed by the earth. And I hate it, hate it so much, I hate my life.

Why do I feel that God has never been fair with my life? Why did God have the heart to create this sad scenario of my life? Why do I feel that I never feel happy even for a moment? What is wrong? Is it so wrong that I was born into this world? Is my sin so big that I have to live like this?

What's on Rain's mind is why, why, and why… But no matter how much he asked, he would not get an answer. When will this end god? Please tell Rain. Rain is not strong anymore. Rain is tired.

I always wear a mask so that no one who knows me knows how sad my life is. Since he left, my life has been different. No more accompanying me to play, no more accompanying me under the tree of my love, on the tree my name and he are written, no more, no. Everything is empty. I live like a vegetable without spices.

A little story, I'm a girl who likes rain that's why my name is Rainata, but I'm very afraid of the sound of thunder. I also really like sitting under a big tree, behind my house, looking up at the sky. I love the sky, I love the sun, I love the beach, I love seashells, I love pearls I love all of them. But apart from that, I love him, I love him, just as much as I love the sun.

When he left me exactly the day after he confessed his feelings to me, at that moment I felt dead, lifeless, my body exists but my soul like it's not in my body I no longer sit for hours under a tree looking up at the sky, I stop loving the sun, I stop visiting the beach, I stop with everything I love except the rain. I still like rain, because when it comes I can disguise all my tears under the heavy rain, I can scream under the rain as loud as I want, as I like, and no one will protest about it.

I will it rained for hours until the next day I felt a fever, but again I didn't care about myself, I just took out my heartache to Rain. I'm disappointed I'm sick. But deep in my heart, I miss him, I hope he comes back, I hope he can be my life support again. He's… he's the first love that I haven't had the chance to have at all.

Rain sits on a chair in front of his study table near his bedroom window. Rain is pensive looking at his yard while dreaming,

Flashback on…

"Rain, Rain, Rain what are you doing there? Come down here or you fall I'm the one who's hard Rain, you climb too high."

"What is it Arkan? I'm busy, I'm carving something up here, if you want you just come here."

"I don't want to go up there Rain, I'm afraid of heights, what are you carving? Rain, come down here, I'll take care of you from down here."

"Ah you're still scared, it's not that high Arkan, come up here you won't fall, I'll hold you so you don't fall."

"No Rain, later when I have the courage, I will climb like you. I will no longer be sitting here waiting for you under this big tree, you haven't answered my question, what are you carving up there? he said with a small chuckle,

"Carve our names. Come up and watch me carve names in this treehouse." Yes, that's right, the tree called is a big tree on top of which there are small houses resembling tree houses. This little treehouse story was made by Arkan's father when they were child.

"Oh Rain, sorry for the tree, don't write it down, if the tree could talk it would have cried Rain because you wrote it like that, he must be bleeding Rain, it's coming down Rain later you will fall, it's already late afternoon I'm worried by my father and mother, your parents will also be worried if you don't come home at this hour, will you be angry with them, will you?" Arkan pleaded. He didn't know how else to persuade Rain to come home, Rain was stubborn.

"Hahahahaha..." Rain burst out laughing at once,

"What did you say?"