mental health

Long story short, the boys all spent the day together and even had tea over at Itsuki's house since the food was there and they were having fun.

They didn't end up leaving until late but Daichi decided he wanted to stay with Itsuki so they all went their separate ways.

When the car they all got in was out of sight Daichi threw Itsuki over his shoulder getting a squeak from the younger and carried him inside.

Daichi went straight upstairs and threw Itsuki down on the bed before literally flopping on him.

No hands to catch himself or protect Itsuki which made the smaller boy laugh even more.

Daichi smiled lightly at the sound of the other boys laughter before stating

"I ain't moving until all my questions are answered."

Getting a squeaked out

"Okay."

From Itsuki who was in hysterics, red faced from laughing so hard and having the other crushing his lungs - not that he really minded.

Daichi began by asking

"First question. Did you have fun today?" Getting

"Yesss~"

sung in response to him between fits of giggles and wiggling.

He carried on by asking another light hearted question, asking

"Second question. Do you ship billjack?" Getting a more hefty chuckle and "Obviouslyyyyyy~"

In response.

Daichi decided to ask a slightly more serious question next but kept his playful tone up as he asked

"Third question. How many meals have you skipped this week?"

Feeling Itsuki tense under him.

Wiggling and giggles stopping for a brief moment before a nervous chuckle was heard.

Itsuki reluctantly said

"Uh- Not applicable."

Flinching at the scolding tone from Daichi as he called out

"Itsuki!-"

Itsuki didn't want to be told of so defended

"I honestly don't know ,I haven't been keeping track of the time and I've been in and out of little space constantly so I just don't know."

Getting a frustrated sigh from Daichi- not because Itsuki was in little space but because he himself hadn't done more assuming he would be - who lightly scolded

"Itsuki you need to take better care of yourself."

Itsuki nodded and sadly mumbled

"I'm doing my best..."

put evident in his voice, knowing Daichi was saying it because he cared.

Daichi tried to offer comfort but also tried to find out more so said

"I know love but you've got to try harder. Like the whole alarm thing Bill was talking about. I've never once heard these alarms go off. Why's that?"

Itsuki blushed slightly, embarrassed as to why but admitted

"I just don't turn them on because they interrupt me-"

If Daichi hadn't already face planted into the bed he would in that moment, whining at the top of his voice

"Itsuki!~ that's the point."

Getting a whispered

"Well I don't like it..."

back from Itsuki, it really had no sass in it more bark than bite.

Daichi let out a reluctant sigh before deciding to move to his main question which was significantly more serious.

He sighed before finally speaking again after a few minutes of silence fell between them

"Fine but we're figuring something else out. Now... Last question."

Itsuki nodded and quietly answered

"Okay..." giving Daichi the chance to begin.

"What were you saying this morning before swapping topics too our friends?"

Itsuki instantly tried to avoid it by saying

"Our friends sounds nice..."

Getting a whine from Daichi who wanted answers so called out

"Itsuki."

Itsuki sighed again and said

"It doesn't matter ."

Getting a head shake from Daichi .

Daichi persisted

"It does because first of all something was making you frown. And secondly, your whole shirt comment not being you not wanting me to see but being you thinking I don't want to see or whatever. I want to know what was going on . I want you to know you can talk to me. I want to be someone you can lean on and someone who can help you in AND out of little space. You mean the world to me and you my baby no matter what."

Itsuki didn't want to answer but knew he'd have to at some point so flushed pink from the comments and with embarrassment as he sadly admitted

"I... I've not been doing as much exercise recently and I've been eating a lot more so I've put on a bunch of weight again... And... A-and... I give up."

Daichi's heart broke a little but he assumed something like that was going on especially with the heads up he'd reconvened before even talking to Itsuki properly when their project started.

He said

"What? since I've met you you've only started to look healthier. When I first met you you were so small and frail and I genuinely thought you might break. Now you look a lot more healthier and I still think you could get away with eating more."

Trying to offer comfort and actual help since Itsuki was still quite a bit under weight from not eating as much again.

Itsuki mumbled

"It still doesn't change things..."

causing Daichi to ask

"Change what things? You can talk to me love . Please don't forget that."

Itsuki let out a frustrated sigh as he 'confessed'

"I'm... i'm fat , not that there's anything wrong with having fat or anything, people are beautiful but I'm just- not. I was ugly anyways but the more weight I put on the fatter I got on top of my ugly and I look at all these beautiful people and I can't see myself like them. It doesn't suit me. Nothing does and nothing will and both are too much to handle and it's making the fight in my head harder a-and-"

Daichi's heart officially shattered.

Itsuki shattered his heart.

"Park Itsuki, you handsome son of a bastard. You are not fat. And you are not ugly. And even if you were fat, which you aren't, I would still love every part of you and think your perfect because there's nothing wrong with having more to love. You even know yourself it's okay and can see the beauty where there's confidence but you can't find that in yourself even though your the most perfect human I've ever met. Yes you have a beautiful face... and body- ahem. But as long as it's healthy and also makes you happy, both being important, there is nothing wrong with how you look. And appearance is only a trivial thing at that because it's personality which matters. The only thing being wrong is you not telling your boyfriend you have a Sixpack."

Itsuki was moved and appreciated Daichi's attempt at humour but still tried to insist "Daichi-"

getting cut off before he could.

"I'm serious love, So please eat all of your meals, even when you don't want to or they seem like an inconvenience or you don't know what to eat. And please don't criticise yourself on something as trivial as appearance when one your blind -literally I know you need glasses and are just to lazy to wear them, and two you'll never see yourself as perfect as I see you or as perfect as you aim to be because nine times out of ten you'll always find something wrong. Even though there's nothing."

Itsuki frowned thinking back on his past so actually confessed

"But I was told... that your supposed to be thin but muscular and handsome and tall a-and sharp looking and that I was always fat growing up by father and his friends and how I'll never be a real man and that I'm ugly like a frog and..."

Daichi really hated Itsuki's father.

He pointed out

"Whatever your father has ever told you is a lie. You and I both know he's stupid. And clearly his friends are too but their opinion shouldn't matter. I know me saying

'omg Itsuki your so handsome and cute and you have such a great body like damn your ass and thighs. Suffocate me '

Won't help but I need you to come out of this conversation knowing two things- maybe three."

Trying to make humour at the end knowing that bringing in itsukie's family to anything made it a whole new level of depressing for the small boy and he didn't want that.

He hated seeing his Itsukie broken.

He wanted to protect Itsuki, he wanted to be his light but also wanted him to be his own.

Itsuki appreciated Daichi's effort and chuckled as a sad tear escaped his eye as he said

"One being that those words have never left your mouth before and I never want them too again."

Internally cringing even though his mind and self image was all over the place, only Daichi would be able to make him laugh genuinely with no bitterness in that mental state.

Daichi shook his head and said

"Make that four then."

Before listing what he needed to say.

"First of all your dads full of bull. Second of all, ideally you should be aiming to put on a bit more weight so your not significantly under it so your healthy and don't have to deal with health risks but I will be here no matter what to support you. Thirdly, your perfect and I will list every perfect part of you and kiss then if I need too. And the forth is I will never say that again, unless it's to tease you or lighten the mood - orrrr you secretly have a bunch of kinks, which for you my sweet Park Itsuki I will suffer to make you smile."

Itsuki smiled as he said

"I have the best boyfriend ever."

As Daichi got up off of his torso and actually hugged him.

A proper hug which offered more understanding than words.

He knew Daichi said it because he cared and he knew Daichi wouldn't lie to him even though a part of him thought he was.

But Itsukie also knew that had something to do with his mental health which he avoided talking to anyone but seok too about prior to Daichi but now he had someone who was there in person and could actually hold him and tell him everything's okay and he'd actually feel safe.

Daichi didn't even realise just how much help he was giving him but it was progress.

Itsuki was making progress.