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Pokemon: lazy new life

A typical Australian dude finds himself being reincarnated into the medieval Pokémon world where his new life begins. If you enjoy the story leave a review and some stones are always appreciated I don’t own Pokémon and also don’t own the cover art, if it’s yours and don’t like it up here let me know

Love_dem_fanfix · Tranh châm biếm
Không đủ số lượng người đọc
86 Chs

New crew

Talent grade from lowest to highest

-red

-orange

-yellow

-green

-blue

-purple

-???

And power ranking from lowest to highest

-baby

-beginner

-intermediate

-advanced

-elite

-king

-champion

-guardian

Yeah so that's the power rankings, the details of each are on the chapter "the deets"

Just so you know guys I appreciate all the comments, I don't respond to them all but I promise I do read them all, and I appreciate the support

And If you do have a spare stone just laying around and don't have much to do with it, throw it my way 😉

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As I'm standing on my balcony overlooking the lake, thinking about my new crew, my shadow extends and 2 red eyes show up, and some creepy laughter, I don't even look back and give a quick

Gideon " Gengar I'm to hungover for that shit, so tone it down"

He responds with a sad "garrrrrr….", not falling for his shit, not this morning, good lord this hangover is rough….as I look to the lake and around at some of the village I see people asleep on the ground… yeah it was a big night.

So my gengar comes out and rubs my back as I lean over the balcony's little woozy, he might be a shit stirrer but I know he cares

He joined me about 3 months after my pops left for the capital and returned with some eggs, only one on my list for myself but a bunch of goons eggs…

A gastly egg, most people don't fuck with ghost Pokémon due to them needing either to live off their partners life force or regular human or Pokémon sacrifices, but being an aura god, and aura being life force, there could be 100 of em and it not even be a drop in the ocean for me.

When he first hatched he was just a little fart cloud with attitude, because I juiced him up in his egg, he came out cocky somehow knowing he was born great, cocky little thing thought I was his food, which wasn't wrong but he had a bad attitude about it, so I shoved as much life juice into his little fart cloud of a body I could, and when he was full….. I kept going and he tried to run….. well houndour at the time held him down, and he has himself a feast

A little tough love right outa the egg sorted his attitude right out, he was a little timid for awhile but grew out of it, and we got close and bonded, he just likes to fuck with people, nothing dangerous just little pranks on me and people around the village like, jump scares and moving things around…

…..To people he doesn't like his pranks aren't so harmless, but fuck…..me...dead are they Hilarious!

Like 2 years ago I dropped into pops place to talk some business and the "clue brothers" managed to stop sucking each other off while also simultaneously stabbing each other in the back for a few minutes to take a couple jabs at me like it doesn't always end bad for them, it's like they never learn…..

They did spend 2 years in their relatives lands and came back more up their own arses than ever but that's not important.

What is important is that gengar is always in my shadow when I leave my house and he didn't like them talking to me like that...not…..one...bit.

So when I went home and fell asleep that night he decided to pay them a little visit, and normally a ghost type can't just sneak into a nobles castle so easily….nobles have certain countermeasures for things like that….but gengar is hard to detect even with those measures, so he proceeds to their rooms....

He glued Richards ass cheeks shut with some powerful glue and force fed him some laxatives while keeping him asleep with hypnosis... and glued kyles balls to his gooch and his little Willy to his thigh and force fed him the strongest viagra in existence….this world didn't have glass but it had viagra…this worlds technology was all over the place..….. and shaved them bald for good measure…

Not to mention they both had to travel toward the capital the next day, oh boy did they suffer…..

Funniest thing I've ever seen....

But he's chill most of the time…

And suddenly the door opens and I hear a "bel bellossom" and here she is, my adorable little ball of sunshine and madness…..

Sunshine as in she is all smiles and pleasant feelings and joy, and looks after me, she turned herself into my Pokémon secretary, yes, trained herself…. I never trained her to do it, she just likes taking care of me, bringing my food, pouring my drinks.....rolling my joints…..and she rolls a mean one, I'm blessed to have her

And madness as in she would happily fire a solar beam into a room of crippled orphans if she thought they hurt me in any way, like houndoom and gengar are protective but she takes it to a other level where it's either you and me get along or you shouldn't exist in her eyes….

But she's only tried to fire a solar beam at children twice so....we're working on it.

I found her about 5 years ago on the way home from pops place, I decided to take a route through the forest to see what's new, and I found a small oddish, injured, alone and afraid, it had a lot of cuts and whip marks, and being a lot smaller than an oddish should be, it was assumed she was abandoned by her family...so i took pity on her and brought her into the fold.

She fit in quick and was a little ball of sunshine who bonded to me almost instantly and trained herself up with a little guidance and managed to evolve with the help of a sunstone from my weekly freebies.

As she comes in with a big smile

On her face and a tray with some hangover medicine on it, bless her little heart.

So I take it and chug down the glass of water….. water has never tasted so good, she brought a whole pitcher, and I drank it all….

As I lay back down in my bed for a moment, I realise how hungry I am

Gideon" go tell the guys in the kitchen I'll be down soon for breakfast, And I want the works…."

Bellossom takes off to do just that, Pokémon can't talk but the staff have learned how to interpret a general idea of what she says from her gestures and tone over the years

And that leads me to thinking about the last member of my crew, there's not big story behind him, no big rebellious phase or personality defect, he's just chill, would rather lay down under a tree and watch clouds go by than anything else.

I got him as an egg from a random merchant passing through Holem, that's the name of pops city, no fuss, I just seen he had him and I bought him, a rhyhorn egg…

Now he's a beefy Rhyperior, which by the way didn't exist yet….. so thats going to be fun to see people shit a brick over, bet some of the ground/rock family's are ganna be all over my dick for how to do it….

And how they are going to find out is in 4 months I have to go to the fucking asshole noble academy in the capital…which would normally be a 5 years sentence…..but I can test out in one year if I played my cards right…. so I won't be there too long, after that I'll be get my own land, it will suck having to rebuild but what ever, it will be mine and I won't have to deal with anyones shit.

Normally it would be weeks of travelling and general fucking around to reach the capital but a champion level psychic Pokémon cuts out all the bullshit, teleport is broken.

But I have a couple of months still, but I'll probably buy a house there so I don't have to end up in those cliche bullshit dorms, and I need some room for my mons, ganna have to have some sessions with bellossom in controlling her temper, I'm sure the nobles cuntiness will earn them a solar beam and I don't know if it will happen when I'm not around.

But meh, it is what it is….. so I head down to breakfast to start my day, got a few things to do today and might as well get em out of the way fast.