The Strange Kundalini

Her name was Kundalini Silvermist. I hated her. Even more, I hated those who flocked to her. She was a stranger. A nobody. She had come to Curtis High out of nowhere. She wasn't a cheerleader; she wasn't on any of the sports teams. She didn't audition for anything And she was plain! There was nothing about her that was considered beautiful in society's view. She always wore black or brown tank shirts and skirts. Her hair was silver/gray in color. Always braided and hanging down to her bare feet.

Yes, she came to school barefoot. How she never got suspended was beyond me. Another thing that rankled me was her smile. She always smiled. There was something unnatural about it. If it wasn't bad enough to hear her name spoken almost constantly by her flock, I was cursed to have her in all of my classes. It was too much. I purposely sat on the opposite side of the room. She was a threat and I needed to figure out how to change that.

At lunchtime the following Friday, I searched for her hoping that by confronting her I could get something to change. She wasn't with any of the clicks that occupied their typical places—Dancers in the dance hall; Geeks in the tech room; and the nobodies tucked into far corners by themselves. Outside the Drama geeks played hackie-sack, but she wasn't there either. Her flock didn't seem to be anywhere today. I continued to look.

A small distance from the main building was a group of trees, the center was always shady and sometimes a few of the nobodies would sit in the center and stare away. If not for her silver braid, she would have blended in where she knelt in front of the furthest tree. Her braid was over her right shoulder, her brown skirt spread out in a circle around her. Kundalini's eyes were closed and she was taking slow deep breaths. Her hands resting relaxed in her lap. She didn't move or open her eyes when I entered the little circle of trees. I didn't think she knew I was there.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked.

"Grounding," she replied, exhaling.

"Why aren't you with your friends?"

"I am with my friends."

"I am not your friend. Who do you think you are?"

Kundalini took one more deep breath and placed her hands on the ground. A soft smile crossed her lips before she stood. "If you are talking about all the attention I have received since coming here, I haven't sought it. I force no one to like me. I just am."

"Well stop it. We don't need people like you around here."

"I cannot stop being who I am, Asahel, anymore than you can stop who you can become." Then she stepped out of the trees and went inside.

I couldn't believe it. Kundalini didn't have to think before she refused. And what had been with the smile before she stood? I was serious. I looked at the dirt where she had been kneeling. The ground had been disturbed. Was she trying to hide it? The bell rang and I wasn't able to inspect it further. I'd have to do that after school.

In class, Kundalini focused on her work. I slipped her a note while I went to ask Ms. Brown, our English teacher, a question to clarify the assignment. The note was left untouched on the corner of her desk while she continued to write. Occasionally, I would glance her direction to see if she had picked up the note, but the paper remained where I had put it. Even when she was finished, she left the note alone. Not until the bell rang to change classes did she pick up the note and ball it up in her fist. Her fingers tightened over the paper as she stood.

Lifting a small bag over her shoulder, she opened the window and stood by it. She took a few deep breaths, closed the window and left the room. I followed behind her watching hands brush against her arms while those in her flock said 'hi' to her. Both of her hands were empty and none of her clothes had pockets. Where was the note? She stopped by her locker and placed her bag inside before grabbing a single notebook and pencil.

She entered our next class and sat in her seat by the window. I couldn't help but think she had purposely dropped the note out the window. So, I sat behind her and muttered something about not reading the note. I hoped to elicit a response, but Kundalini acted as if she hadn't heard me. The bell rang for class to start and Mr. Dart, our AP Government teacher turned on the overhead and began his lecture.

At the end of the day, Kundalini returned to the trees and smoothed over the disturbed dirt. A horn honked and she ran from the trees to a car where a silver-haired man was waiting. I couldn't follow her then. I still didn't know what she had done with the note I had given her. She wasn't reacting like I thought she would. I crouched by the smoothed out dirt and I ran it through my fingers. It was warm, unlike the rest of the soil which was cold. As I rolled the dirt through my fingers, the warmth never faded. I knew the soil should have cooled as I handled it, nor should it still have been warm after Kundalini left it disturbed at lunchtime. What had she done here to make the soil feel different?

Wiping the dirt from my fingers, I stood. Adjusting the strap on my book bag, I walked to the parking lot and got in my car. I sat there watching the other students leave as I thought about Kundalini. Something about her wasn't right. The warm upturned soil; the quick disappearance of my note; and how quickly many of the students flocked to her. Where had she come from? Had she been like this at her other high school? If so, why hadn't she stayed there? Closing my eyes I rested my head against the back of the seat and sighed. My anger was crowded out by the curiosity that had been building since I found her alone at lunch time.

I started my car then drove home. I decided to go camping one last time, before I was really bogged down with homework. I tossed my homework on my bed then checked my backpacking gear. Everything was ready to go, so I left a note for my parents then left for Mt. Rainier. The hike in was nice. The sun filtered through the trees and only the call of birds broke the silence.

That night was clear and cool. I heard a few animals wander close to where I slept then leave again. When morning came, I heated up some water for an MRE before hiking a little further. On my trail was a lake that I stopped to watch for a few minutes, enjoying some jerky while I watched the untroubled surface. Then I continued my hike. I only hiked for another few hours before stopping for the night, since it would take me most of the following day to get back home.

It rained that night and the tarp I had brought to keep me dry had a hole in it. Cold, wet, and miserable, I didn't sleep very well. Because of the rain, I got up sooner than I had planned to and headed back. The trails were muddy and slick in some places. I paused once more when I got to the lake. Still undisturbed. Then something big rippled the surface and I moved closer to the lake's edge. I had never seen fish jump in this lake, nor did I think they were going to plant some. I watched the lake for several minutes, but nothing moved after that.

Still I continued to watch until I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. A little further down the shore, not far from where I stood, someone came out of the lake. They were naked and the air was still freezing from the rain the night before. In the shadows it was hard to see the color of their hair, but as I started towards them to help, I stepped through the trees to find Kundalini standing in the middle of a fire. Her eyes were closed, but she moved. And each time she moved, the flames moved with her. I stood frozen as I watched her dance. The flames moved across her light skin, but never burned.

I shivered as I thought of flames dancing across my skin like that. Somehow what I was seeing wasn't possible. Was I still dreaming? I almost pinched myself when the flames around Kundalini went out. Her back was turned to me as she picked up a black shirt and skirt from the ground. Her hair shifted as she bent down, revealing a tattoo on her tailbone. It wasn't like any other tattoo I had seen before and I wanted a better look at it.

Kundalini pulled her clothes over her thin form and I realized her skin tone had not darkened, even with the flames, nor was her hair wet or singed. But then, if the ripple had been of her making, how had she held her breath for so long? Stepping towards her a twig snapped under my muddy boot. Kundalini didn't freeze or turn around, but walked to the edge of the lake as if she were still the only one here. She folded her arms and her head lowered slightly.

"Kundalini?" I asked softly.

The stillness of the forest seemed to shatter and I looked around.

"Good morning, Asahel," she replied, lifting her head. "Did you sleep well last night?"

"Not really. How long have you been out here?"

"Since yesterday afternoon."

"Then where is your stuff?"

"I don't have anything with me."

"Nothing? Then how…?"

Kundalini turned to me then, a thoughtful expression on her face. "This is who I am, Asahel. Very few come to accept what you have seen today."

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. I need to head back now."

"Would you like me to walk with you?"

"No. Thank you for the offer though." Then she stepped into the trees.

"Kundalini, wait!" I called after her, but as I stepped through the trees to where she should have been, there was no sign of her, not even a disturbance to the lake's surface. I pinched myself then. I wasn't dreaming. So I had actually seen Kundalini dance in flame; was aware of the fact that she had disappeared. How? A breeze came through the trees and chilled my neck. Slowly, I turned and hiked out.

Once I got back home, I washed my sleeping bag and took a shower. Everything I did took longer than usual because my thoughts kept being drawn back to seeing Kundalini on Mt. Rainier. Her naked form as she left the lake, her dance in the flames, and the thoughtful look on her face before she disappeared. My body shivered in the cold stream and I got out. Even after she had put her clothes back on, how could she stand without shivering. So many questions ran through my head. I needed to speak with Kundalini.