End of Life Care

Dr. Reggie returned. "How would you like to see your end of life care fulfilled?"

"I would like hospice."

"Okay. I will see who I can get to help you."

"I'll do it," Robert said, stepping in. "Provided you sign off that the hours I spend with Tansy are applied to the hospice certification you gave me to complete."

Dr. Reggie didn't look pleased. "Very well. Not like I have a choice in the matter."

Robert nodded.

Dr. Reggie scribbled something in my chart then pressed it into Robert's chest as he left the room.

"I'll get transport ready to take you home."

"No, Robert," I said.

"You'd rather be in a hospice home?"

I closed my eyes tightly. "Take me to the cabin."

"That's too isolated."

"I want the cabin, Robert. I want to feel closer to my parents while…." I stopped talking as different pain came to my body. My hips were trying to rotate unnaturally. I heard a pop around my tailbone as muscles tore. I felt a little nauseated, but the pain left me again.

Robert looked me over, not seeing what I was definitely feeling. "Alright. I'll still need the transport team to get you ready."

"That's fine," I whispered.

He brushed his lips again my forehead then left the room.

Robert definitely had feelings for me. I wasn't sure when we had that one night stand several months ago. It would definitely challenge his professionalism as he watched my body literally eat itself alive these next couple months. Robert returned with release forms and the transport team. They lifted my incomplete body as one to a child sized backer board used in triage to move bodies to another area. They strapped me down securely. Then they made sure they had all the IV bags removed. They carried me out to Robert's car and slid me into the back seat. They secured the board I lay on.

The door closed, leaving my ears ringing. Robert climbed in. He adjusted his rear-view mirror then started the car. He pulled away from the curb.

"Doing alright, Tansy?" he asked, before turning out of the hospital parking lot.

"As okay as I can, Robert," I replied.

He nodded.

"Thank you for doing this for me."

"It's the least I could do, Tansy. This is not an ending you deserve."

"I understand."

Robert pulled onto the highway and drove for about twenty minutes. He took the exit then drove up the canyon. The trees looked beautiful. I missed coming up here. I had only been up to the cabin a few times while in medical school. Then a few times since to stock up the cabin with everything I would need or want when The One Sided Battle became my disease.

The drive up the canyon took about half an hour. I loved it because it was the only cabin for miles around. Even with other campgrounds in the surrounding area. The land my parents had purchased was large enough to keep even the most adventurous of hikers away. Robert parked the car. Then he opened both back doors. He unbuckled all the belts. Then he carefully lifted my legless body in his arms and carried me into the cabin. He lay me down. Only then did he remove the neck brace.

"Is there anything you need right now?"

"To eliminate. The bucket should be in that corner," I said, pointing to the other side of the room.

Robert picked it up. Then he picked me up again. Being very conscious to support my neck and head. He took us out into the trees. He had to help me sit since I had no legs to help keep me balanced. Robert stayed by me while I eliminated copious amounts of fecal matter and matter that didn't feel like feces.

"Tell me that what I just heard you eliminate is normal?"

"For the disease that it killing me, yes, it is."

"Okay."

I wiped off. Robert carried me back into the cabin and lay be back in bed. "Anything I can get for you to eat?"

"I don't feel hungry."

"You should still eat something."

"Steak. Rare."

"Fruits and vegetables would be better since you haven't eaten anything in two months."

My head flopped to the side when I tried to shake it in the negative. "My digestive tract is breaking down. I can't eat something that needs a longer intestine to get the nutrients from."

"Breaking down, but the length is still intact," he said carefully adjusting my head and making sure it was better supported in the pillow.

"Not anymore. Check the bucket."

Robert's face turned a little green. Very few things had made Robert vomit in medical school. Entrails was one of them. He swallowed hard. "I'll have to bring you with me if I leave for food. Unless you are okay with it being delivered," he said, trying not to let my revelation derail his initial purpose.

"That's fine."

"Okay. Let me clean out the bucket. Then we can go."

"Alright."

Robert left. It wasn't long until I heard him vomit. He returned some time later and carried me out to his car. He strapped me in, put the neck brace on then we left. He drove to the closest restaurant that served stake. He unbuckled me, but left the neck brace on. Then he carried me inside. We were seated. Robert kept me on his lap. It was uncomfortable, but less than it would have been had he tried to seat me on the bench. I had no more fat on my butt and hardly any muscles covered the shifted bones.

He ordered a chicken dish. I ordered eight Memphis Blue stakes without the sides. The waiter's eyes opened a little wider and Robert's arms tightened slightly around my flat waist.

"Why so much?" Robert asked when the waiter was gone.

"It's what I want," I said, not telling him what I thought might be true from looking at the MRI's.

"Alright." He feathered my twig arms a little until the waiter brought water for me and a Cherry Pepsi for Robert. He sighed then helped me drink from time to time. He knew I would be unable to lift the glass since I wasn't able to bend my fingers very far. When my stakes arrived, he carefully cut the stakes into bite size pieces. He fed pieces to me between his bites of chicken parm.

He took a deep breath when he finished his food. He continued to feed me since I had just less than half of my eight stakes to consume. "Can I ask you some questions about your work on the Homomalia gene?"

"When we get back to the cabin," I replied.

"Alright."

Robert finished feeding me. He paid for the meal then took me back to the cabin.