Companion... Both?

She set a bowl of blended fruits with light spices in it on my lap. I ate slowly, trembling as I lifted each spoonful to my mouth. My throat felt tight and painful. Another suppressed memory was trying to surface in my dreams, but unable to. Sheida continued to rub my back.

"Why…sad?" I rasped when I was almost finished.

"Because of all the pain you went through to become as you are," she replied.

I took a slightly deeper breath. "Why…else?"

The straight lines of her mouth depressed and she stopped rubbing my back. "I should not burden you with my problems while you continue to heal this traumatic experience."

I shook my head. "Why?"

Sheida sighed and looked down at her hands. "I desire companionship, but it has been denied me because of my blood disorder. Our doctors were afraid of me dying in childbirth, and… recommended I not pass on the disease."

"Disease… gone. No… passing…," I coughed as my throat dried and I felt my guts lurch slightly as if trying not to gag on something.

Her hand rested on my arm as my coughing stopped. But I dared not eat more for fear of actually throwing up.

"Even if that were to be true. They still recommend I not."

"Then why… deny… companionship?"

"Our sensitivities to the other's feelings increase when we become companions. A sensitivity you already seem to have."

I nodded my understanding. "Raiza?"

"Still resting. He put a lot into supporting you last night and is still tired."

There was more to it than that. I held my bowl out to Sheida. "…See… him?"

"Sure."

Sheida took my bowl from me then helped me stand. I felt as weak as I did when I was first brought here and had to lean on her quite a bit as we shuffled down the hall. It took us a while to enter a portion of the building designated for staff only. There were more offices back here and just as many resting rooms. Sheida guided me to a room as far from the main doors as you could get. We entered the room quietly and stood beside his bed.

Tear tracks slightly darkened the skin on his face. Assisting me triggered something. Raiza's mouth line trembled. I held up a finger to Sheida so she wouldn't speak. Slowly, I widened my stance and let go of her. I reached across him to hold two points on either arm.

"Walfria," he cried. "Walfria!"

I kept hold of the points as he rolled to his side. All his quills raised and spread out in his distress. Sheida trembled by my side and her own quills started to rise also. I kept hold of the points until Raiza's cries turned to silence and his quills lowered. A soft whimper left Sheida's throat. I shifted to become a male porcupine as I turned to her. She held tightly to me and I held her securely against me. Her quills started to lower. I turned my head and let our noses brush. Sheida turned and brushed her nose against mine.

"Okay…companion…both?" I whispered.

She nodded and touched our noses together for a while. I could feel her growing excitement, but then she pulled away. "I will wait a little longer," she whispered.

"Okay."

I rubbed her arms before we left Raiza to sleep. Sheida helped me to the bathroom then back to my room to rest a little more. I woke later feeling groggy. My sense of the world was mixed as well. My steps were heavy as I went into the bathroom. I paused a moment in front of the mirror and saw mixed portions of every being I could now change into. Knowing what little I did now about myself, I felt that messed up. I shook myself and felt my consciousness control part of the shift back to my body's original form.

Sheida was just coming in as I left the bathroom. She approached me and opened my robe as I shifted my form. Our noses brushed and we smiled. Taking her hand, I took her to the large pillow and lay down. Sheida straddled my legs and dragged herself up to my hips. Her motion scooped me up and let me in. Thrill passed through my body as she slid up a little higher. She leaned forward and brushed our noses together. My hips shifted and our bodies rocked. Tears filled Sheida's eyes. I caressed her cheek which made her tears fall harder. I pulled back enough to let her go and she lay over my chest. I rubbed her back, holding her securely against me. She wrapped her arms around me. As her quills started coming down, I smoothed them out until her crying stopped.

"Thank you, Maaziah."

"You're welcome, Sheida," I whispered. I continued to stroke her head until she could push herself up. "Have you eaten this afternoon?"

She shook her head.

"Okay. We'll eat together."

She smiled. "Okay."

Our noses brushed once more before Sheida helped me up. I tied my robe closed and remained in my shifted form as we walked hand in hand to the food court. We ate together. I felt Sheida's sadness fade as our emotions started being recognized and felt by the other.

"Are there things you like to do, Sheida?" I asked.

"Spend as much time as I can outside."

"Is there a favorite place you have?"

"I love them all."

I smiled and nodded.

"Are there activities you would like to try to see if you like them?" she asked.

"Anything and everything within reason."

"Okay. When the healers find you sufficiently stable we'll do more things together."

"I'd like that."

"Good."

We finished eating then Sheida took me outside. We walked the grounds for a time before snuggling in the shade of a large umbrella topped tree. We dozed in the shade until an Ivy woman came to take me inside. Sheida shifted in my arms and turned to face me. We brushed noses before I got up and followed the Ivy woman inside. We walked down the hall and into a conference room. All of the healers that had participated in the work the night before all sat around a large table. I counted two of each type. My body shifted to its original form as I took a seat between Raiza and Tanus.

"How are you feeling?" Raiza asked me.

"Better in some ways; worse in others."

"Worse in what way?"

"It's hard to accept that I am two people. Two separate lives forced to be one."

Several healers nodded.

"That would be difficult for anyone to accept," Tanus replied. "Which is in part why we wish to see if it is possible to preserve your form."

"I do not wish to preserve this form. By being able to shift my form to be as all of you are, I have been able to instinctively know and feel how you perceive the world. Such knowledge for a healer is invaluable."

"We worry that the shifting may adversely affect your health," Yaret said.

"Then I will stay in one form for as long as possible, but it will not be this one."

Raiza's expression became thoughtful.

"Then which form would you choose?" one of the mouse healers asked.

"The form I am most familiar with." I shifted back to the porcupine I had been. "Was there more you wished to discuss?"

"Your method of healing," they said. "How did you come to know what you know?"

"I honestly don't know. All I know is that I know it."

"Can it be taught?"

"Yes, but I'm not sure how best to go about doing that. You won't learn much at all if I am the one being worked on."

"Agreed."

"Is there a foundation that can be established to make learning the rest easier?" Raiza asked. His expression had not ceased to be thoughtful when I requested they not preserve my original form.

"Very likely. I will need time to ponder its set up."

"Will two days be sufficient?"

"It should be."

"Then we will meet again in two days' time."

I nodded and we all stood to leave. Raiza remained by my side as we waited for the others to go. His hand lightly touched my back. We stepped out into the hall and walked towards his office. His almond eyes narrowed to slits as he thought.

"Maaziah, of all the forms you could have chosen. Why this one?"

"Are you displeased that I chose to be like you and Sheida?"

"Not at all. I was wondering because of your temperament."

I nodded. "Even when my form shifted without my conscious effort this one has been the easiest to maintain."

"Alright." He led me through the doors and into his office. He opened a cupboard of various sized clothing and pulled out a set he thought might fit me. Raiza handed them to me, meeting my gaze then turning away.

"Something is on your mind, Raiza. What is it?" I asked.

"It's nothing."

"Your body language tells me otherwise. You have a request for me."

"It doesn't matter," he said.

"Alright," I replied, letting the matter drop.

I took the clothes with me to the bathroom across the hall and changed into them. I took and let out a deep breath, comforted by the feel of clothing over my naked form. Then I returned to Raiza's office. He stood by the window, his hands behind his back.

"So, what's next, Raiza? Am I to stay here while I teach you and the others what I know or will I have other living arrangements?"

"I was planning on having you live with Sheida and me since you are more stable. Plus, I have no idea where to send you or if anyone will come looking for you."

"Fair. Of what service can I be to you in your home?"

"I'm not yet sure. I will tell you shortly."

"Alright."

"You should find Sheida out front. Go home with her. I'll be along a little later."

"Okay, Raiza. Thank you for your care and hospitality."

Raiza nodded, not turning from the window.