Chapter Twenty: Acceptance?

I will now accept that Yol Sang Kim is dead. And I will have a new life.

The end?

It's been two weeks since Yol Sang Kim passed...

I was still mourning and in pain...

But I knew the pain killers could no longer help me with this pain.

Everything felt so unreal ever since she died.

Apparently, she died because of me...

Because she thought I never loved her...

That I didn't love her.

But little did she know...

I did love her.

And I always will.

And she'll always be my happy pill.

She's been a really big part of my life...

She thought she didn't do anything for me?

She did...

She saved me.

She saved me from jumping off the bridge...

She saved me from drowning at the bridge...

She saved me from cutting myself to death...

She saved me from the road accident...

She saved my life.

She saved me multiple times.

Little did she know I really did love her.

I loved Kim Yeol.

I love Yol Sang Kim.

She was my angel...

But everything was gone.

I felt so broken and wasted.

I'm no one now.

But should I accept it?

Waking up every morning all I saw was…

Through early morning fog I see

Visions of the things to be

The pains that are withheld for me

I realize and I can see

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

I can take or leave it if I please

That game of life is hard to play

I'm gonna lose it anyway

The losing card I'll someday lay

So, this is all I have to say

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

I can take or leave it if I please

The sword of time will pierce our skin

It doesn't hurt when it begins

But as it works its way on in

The pain grows stronger, watch it grin

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

And I can take or leave it if I please

A brave man once requested me

To answer questions that are key

Is it to be or not to be?

And I replied oh why ask me

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

And I can take or leave it if I...

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

I can take or leave it if I please

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

And you can do the same thing if you please

And all I can say is...

Yol Sang Kim, I love you.

I knelt down at her tombstone, and pulled out a ring.

"I know I could never ask you this, and I know it's already too late... But you will always stay in my heart.

I wish I could save you."

I placed the ring under the soil where she can find it and feel my love.

Good bye.

Thank you again.

Thank you for making me realize that pain killers are not the way to be free.

It's all about you and me.