Chapter : The Plan

He nodded. "Tell me, why did you elect to decimate the Slane Theocracy so early in our campaign?"

My smile fell, and I sighed.

'Whelp, there goes that bit of subtlety. I had hoped to delay this conversation. Time to roll for bullshit.'

"Demiurge…" I began. "I think you'll find that, while Momonga is magnificent at making long-lasting plans, he fails to make them truly organic. He may occasionally send out a tendril to explore a possibility, but many of his plans are fragile things that could be unseated should anything go terribly awry at a given time. He is experienced enough to recover and turn the failure into yet another opportunity, but the flaw remains."

Demiurge frowned. "My lord…"

I waved him off. "I mean no insult to my friend, but neither am I unaware of his shortcomings. In fact, it is because I am aware of them that I can take steps to make sure that they are not used against him."

Demiurge nodded, glasses flashing. "A magnificent strategy, my lord. And what, may I ask, is the purpose of the new forest you so carefully created?"

"Monsters."

"…My lord?"

"In a word, monsters." I repeated, leaning back in my chair. "There were many other factors, of course, one of which being the reason I handed out Mirrors. I had reason to suspect that the Six Gods that the Slane Theocracy worshipped were either Players or beings capable of creating Player Items. I struck first before they could become aware of us, only to find this." I reached into my Inventory, pulling out [Downfall of Castle and Country].

"My lord… is that…?"

"A World Item, yes. Something that would have utterly ruined any one of our plans were it allowed to be used."

"Incredible… so you knew that something of this sort existed, and you struck to prevent such an event from occurring?"

"In part, yes." I carefully folded the Item, setting it in front of me on the table. "But I would have wiped out the Slane Theocracy regardless, for two main reasons. First and foremost, their doctrine preaches that anything non-human is utterly detestable and inferior to humanity."

"Absurd." Demiurge scoffed.

I smiled faintly. "Indeed, but therein lies the issue. The problem with religion is that it's incredibly difficult to remove from a population. In one of the first humans' religious doctrines, the Hebrew God demanded that they kill every living creature residing in the land they were invading. Man, woman, child, even livestock."

I held up a hand, forestalling a response. "I know it sounds a bit extreme, but he had good reason. The people disobeyed that order, took their enemies' women as wives and stuffed their bellies with their foes' livestock. In time, the religion of their wives became the religion of their children, causing their people to slowly forsake the God that had given them the land to begin with. It's a brutal tale, yes, but it can teach one important lesson."

"You believed that by letting them live they might one day return to their ways." The strategist stated.

I nodded. "The trouble with religion is that, to be a believer, you must believe the doctrine of the religion. A doctrine intolerant of us and our agenda. No matter what we gave them, no matter how hard we tried to appease their bloodlust, they would one day rise against us simply because we're not human."

"Very good, my lord. I understand completely. And your second reason?"

"Their location. Thus far their doctrine has caused them to wipe out all the monsters invading the land, protecting their neighboring kingdoms from attack. If the Slane Theocracy were ever to collapse naturally, the Re-Estize Kingdom, the Baharuth Empire, and the Roble Holy Kingdom would fall to monsters soon after. By taking over that position, we can use it as a negotiation tool if the situation ever arises."

"Monsters…" Demiurge murmured, beginning to catch on. "The monsters would have to travel through the forest in order to arrive on the other side. A very dense, entirely unexplored forest."

"Indeed." I agreed, chuckling. "And, if my plan works out, they'll have no desire to continue on to the rest of the human kingdoms. After all, the monster kingdom I'm founding will be much more attractive to them. It'll have an entire ecosystem unique to their location alone, the monsters doing the heavy lifting while the few humans work on efficiency and improvement of tools. Within a couple of generations, the humans will have crossbred with the monsters and created a society universally accepting of all creatures so long as they keep the peace."

"That sounds incredible, my lord."

"Thanks." I patted the World Item in front of me. "Honestly, I just came up with the plan because I'm a lazy bastard and having an entire society that does work for me sounded appealing. Why should I bother with cross-species research and magical technology when I can set up the proper conditions and have genuine results within five years?"

"Truly, your genius knows no bounds." Demiurge beamed. "I had begin to consider such things, but to already have a long-term plan in place…"

I snorted. "I wouldn't go that far. I'm still not sure whether the Hamadryads will be attractive enough to the humans for them to consider crossbreeding. YGGDRASIL never had any non-character versions, which makes it impossible to know what they'll look like. If they look green or are sprouting leaves, the humans might hesitate before copulating with them. But if they look as or more beautiful than humans, like Noa is, then the process will end up being significantly faster."

"Indeed. Thank you for sharing all of this with me, my lord. I appreciate this small window into your complex thought processes."

'What complex thought processes? The easier I make things, the more free time I have to cuddle with my girls. Simple as that.'

"On the contrary, Demiurge, consider this a lesson." I said smoothly. "There are times when long, well-thought out plans with numerous steps are the way to go. But then, there are also times when the most effective option is merely to scorch the earth and build again." I said instead, picking up the World Item. "I'm sure you've heard by now how I like to teach lessons before I hand these out… well, now you've had yours."

Demiurge bowed as I stood, holding out the Item. "My lord, please, I am not worthy—"

"Oh, don't be like that." I dismissed. "I can't exactly use this, not nearly as well as you can. This is [Downfall of Castle and Country], a World Item that the Slane Theocracy only scratched the surface of. In the hands of a normal human, it allows the use of the unique Spell [Dominate Mind] and allows the user's mind-control abilities to subjugate the mind of any creature, even those that possess Racial immunity to mind-control. But [Dominate Mind] is a single-target Spell, you see, and the World Items effects reach out to the user's Skills as well…"

Demiurge's glasses flashed. "My lord… are you saying that this Item would allow me to use my Commands without restriction?"

"Precisely." I grinned. "More specifically, since this is a World Item, it would allow you to have absolute control over as many beings as your Command Mantra allows, but only so long as they did not possess a different World Item."

"My lord, my Command Mantra allows me to Command any being under Level 40…"

"Well then. That restriction no longer applies, does it?"

Demiurge returned my grin, unfolding the World Item. In his hands, it shifted from a qipao to a changshan, the male version of the same garb. He carefully wound it around himself, the end result making him look like a rather bizarre priest with the outfit's high collar and one-piece weave.

I gave him a thumbs-up. "Impressive. Should you ever need to go out into the world, that would be an excellent yet entirely functional disguise."

"Thank you, my lord." Demiurge bowed low. "My gratitude truly cannot be expressed with mere words."

"Be at ease. You're the only one in Nazarick who can access its full potential, so it's only right that you be the one to hold it. Merely continue your good work, and I'm sure the Item will serve you well. Just remember." I gave him a stern look. "That is one World Item which must never fall into the hands of our foes. The damage it could cause to us is utterly unimaginable. Thus, if you ever believe yourself in a situation in which your options are death or surrender, I hereby order you to destroy that Item with your full power. Copies can be made, but you cannot give it up. Do you understand me?"

Demiurge nodded seriously. "Of course. I would gladly protect this Item with my life, but if it comes down to it, I will burn it with the Flames of Gehenna."

"Good man." I reached out to clap him on my shoulder. "Now… I shouldn't keep my Maidens waiting for much longer. Good luck dealing with Rubedo."

I stepped away and disappeared.

.

.

.

"Hey, Archer." I murmured into her hair, stroking her back. She was laying comfortably on my chest, her head resting in the crook of my neck. "How's your day been going?"

"Fine." She snuggled closer, pulling the sheets over us. "Better now that you're back."

"And you, Noa?"

She didn't respond, merely tightening her hold around my midsection. I took that as 'I missed you' rather than 'I'm angry at you'. I smiled, reaching out to run my fingers through her hair. "Sorry I left you two behind."

"It's fine." Archer mumbled. "We can exist without you, you know."

Ding-dong…

I blinked. "Was that the doorbell?"

"Nooo…" Noa mumbled. "I just got comfy."

I sighed. "It might be important."

"Then they would Message you." Archer countered, frowning. "They can wait until later. I want snuggles and romance now, you can answer the door at dinnertime."

I rolled my eyes, smiling faintly. "I'll tell you what. If you get up and let me answer the door, I'll take my shirt off for the rest of snuggle time."

Both girls blinked.

Ding-dong…

"Okay." Noa relinquished her hold, pulling away. "Deal."

Archer frowned at her. "Traitor."

"Muscles." Noa countered. "Ridged muscles that we can feel as much as we want."

"We can already do that."

"Through cloth?"

Silence.

"Point taken." Archer sighed, sliding off of me.

I smiled, leaning over to give them both a kiss. "Be back in a bit." I slipped out of bed, moving towards the door.

"Shirt." Noa's voice stopped me.

I blinked. "Pardon?"

"Take off your shirt." She repeated.

I deadpanned at her. "You want me to answer the door shirtless… why, exactly?"

"It's funny." She yawned, sliding out of bed. Surprisingly, she was actually wearing something decent. "And I want to see their reactions."

'Translation: she wants to send a message.' I shook my head in bemusement. "You could just ask them to Message ahead before coming next time."

"Not as fun." She stopped in front of me, reaching up to begin untying the [Nemean Lion's Pelt].

Archer sighed, reluctantly leaving the bed as well. She was dressed in a thin black nightdress, showing off impressive amounts of skin. "I'll go throw something in the oven, then, I suppose. It'll be ready in a few hours when we get up again."

"Not going to stop her?" I asked drily.

She shrugged, smirking. "I don't know… maybe I like the idea of seeing you walk shirtless through the house."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. In that case, why stop there?" I reached into my Inventory, pulling out a leather biker jacket that made her eyes widen in recognition.

"Not that one."

I paused, lowering the jacket. "…Okay, any particular reason for that?"

"That jacket's special." She said firmly. "Put it back."

"…Alrighty then." I did so, hiding a smile.

Noa wrapped herself around my arm, yawning. "Let's go."

I nodded, strolling down the stairs. Archer followed behind, splitting off to walk towards the kitchen. I didn't have too much of an issue with the compromise I had struck, considering every NPC that came to mind would either have eyes only for Momonga or be used to my antics. Or be male, I suppose.

I stopped in front of the door, turning the handle just as they began to knock once more. "I hear you, I hear you." I said, bemused. "What is it?"

The dark-skinned Elf froze, eyes widening. Noa's grip tightened around my arm, even if her expression remained vacant.

Aura was dressed in her usual outfit, though a few militaristic touches had been added since I last saw her. She was still a head shorter than Noa and positively tiny compared to Archer, but she still had her own charm. I caught sight of a suitcase behind her and mentally raised an eyebrow.

Her mouth opened. Her mouth closed. A thin line of blood began to drip from her nostril. "U-um." She squeaked. "Hi."

From somewhere behind me, I heard Archer drop something. I tuned it out. "Hello, Aura. What brings you here this late at night?"

"Shirt." She blurted. "I mean, no shirt. I mean, you're not wearing a shirt."

"I somehow doubt that's why you're here." I deadpanned.

Her cheeks turned a deep red. "Oh. Um. Forget I said that. I'm here to guard your body. I mean, I'm your bodyguard. I mean—" She blinked. "Yeah. Bodyguard. Of you, not your body."

I took pity on the poor girl, letting her gather her wits. Noa silently observed, face blank as ever. Aura coughed, then tried again. "U-um, so, before Lady Albedo had me reassigned to be your bodyguard."

Well, okay then. Albedo certainly worked fast. Did she even give the girl an explanation of what her job would be?

…Well, I mean, I could ask, or I could give her a pop quiz.

"Am I incapable of protecting myself?" I asked tilting my head. "Because I'm fairly sure that I've survived literal war zones for longer than she's been alive. Why would I need a bodyguard?"

"Because. Um." She blinked, then deliberately stared at the ground. "Because Archer's in charge of guarding Noa… and you've been heading out a lot on your own?"

So she at least got the rundown before being sent in, even if it took her a moment to recall the details.

If only I had found the time to do the same with Noa, considering the look she was giving me. I met her eyes and did my best to send a silent message. She was a smart girl, she would figure it out.

We both knew I could oneshot monsters stronger than anything this world had to offer. We knew that. Albedo knew that. Aura knew that. Sure, Archer was assigned to protect Noa, but that was mainly to give her something to do. Any protection detail attached to me would be purely for show, considering I had no intentions of hibernating anytime soon and even in my sleep my Instincts can warn me of threats several kilometers away.

So she had to be here for a different purpose.

Noa nodded slowly, turning back to Aura. Even if she didn't know exactly why she was here, she would wait to ask. She gave the girl a small smile, eyes narrowing, and I winced.

That smile did not say 'welcoming'. It said that Aura looked hot as hell and was extremely easy to fluster—in other words, the perfect target for teasing.

"Come on in." Noa turned, tugging me along. "Archer-nee is in the kitchen."

"Not anymore." Archer's voice floated over, getting louder as she came into view. "What smells like… vanilla…" She trailed off as her gaze landed on Aura. "Oh my." Slowly, a feral smile crossed her face. "Oh, yes, come on in." Her tail twitched back and forth, gently brushing the ground.

"Down girl." I whispered, making her tail droop. Then, louder, "Archer. Glad you heard us, saves a bit of time. Did you make enough for four?"

She nodded, still looking Aura up and down. "Had a feeling I'd need to. Not sure how much she'll eat, though, so chances are we'll have leftovers. Bodyguard, she said?"

"Y-yes." Aura nodded once. "Personal guard. Lady Albedo's orders."

Archer glanced at me. I nodded once. I would fill them in later. "Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt. I'm sure she had a reason for her choice. We have plenty of spare bedrooms upstairs, we can get you all settled in before dinner."

Aura nodded, reaching out of view to pick up a black suitcase. "Thank you, ma'am."

"Don't ma'am me." Archer smiled. "You know what my name is. Dinner's in the oven, it should be ready in an hour or two. If you get hungry before then, there's plenty in the pantry. Just open the door next to the refrigerator while thinking of what you want and it should give it to you. Get comfortable before dinner, and after I can give you the house tour."

I raised an amused eyebrow. "You'll give her the house tour? Do you honestly know half of what the paintings are named?"

She coughed. "A-ah, I could Analyze them?"

"And the doors? What about those?"

She looked away. "…Okay, we'll give you the house tour."

Noa nodded, still latched on to my arm. "Everyone goes." She said, voice soft and toneless. "It's your home now, too."

Aura nodded shyly, smiling. "Thank you all. It means a lot to me."

"Just be careful." Archer called, already heading towards the stairs. "Ko has been known to be highly attractive to pure maidens, whether the dunce realizes it or not."

Aura hesitantly followed behind her, a second bag in tow. "O-okay."

"You'd be dense too if you spent most of your life on the battlefield." I grumbled dramatically.

I heard her curse and stumble from the second floor. Noa smirked faintly. "Evil."

"Chaotic good, technically." I said, grinning. "But honestly, I'm just in it for a good time."

"We should probably follow."

"Probably, yeah." I stepped forward, striking a regal pose. "Shall we depart, milady?"

Her lips curved into a tiny smile. "Yes."

We walked up the stairs, stopping short at the sight of a frustrated Archer with her arms crossed. Despite her irritation, I couldn't help but observe how her crossed arms emphasized her impressive bust—which, as it seemed by the clearly visible nipples, she had apparently not bothered to cover with a bra.

I noticed. Noa noticed. Aura noticed. Archer apparently didn't.

"So… when were you planning on telling me some of the rooms lead into the Void?"

I blinked, glancing at the open door. "Ah… some do that. That's what happens when they lose contact with what's supposed to be on the other side."

"Then shouldn't it lead into the wall?"

I shook my head. "All the rooms are kept in separately-stored pocket dimensions that exist just adjacent to the reality in which this mansion is stored. In the event of a siege, the doors disconnect. Blank walls are for people who don't have enemies." I paused. "…Also, that was supposed to be the supply closet. We may be out of toilet paper until I fix the link."

Noa raised a hand. "If I were to throw something into the Void—"

""No."" Archer and I said in unison. Archer frowned, taking over. "Yes, it would be fun for a few seconds, but then the things that live in the Void would decide to 'investigate'."

I sighed, giving Aura an apologetic look. "Sorry about the delay. Noa?"

She released my arm, yawning and wandering over to our room. "I'll be waiting."

Aura's cheeks turned bright red. I pretended not to notice, striding down the hall. Every door along the hallway looked slightly different, with the knob and hinges made of a slightly different substance. Our door was exquisitely carved with golden inlays of Dragons and Maidens, while the door I led Aura to was a solid slab of oak.

"This is our forest room." I told her, opening the door and mentally crossing my fingers. To my relief, the Item functioned perfectly, opening to reveal a room with genuine grass and a ceiling with glimmering stars on top. The bed was tangled in the branches of a large oak, which swayed in an artificial wind. "It's not much, but it should work just fine."

Archer blinked, staring. "…Ko?" She said calmly. "Do every one of these doors lead to something scientifically impossible?"

I shrugged. "Most of them, yeah. Had to fill the place with something. Sometimes I just open the doors to remind myself what's inside, helps me pass the time." I pointed down the hall, towards a door of burnished gold. "That one leads to Erebor, the fallen Dwarven Kingdom. Lots of gold and jewels in there, great for bathing in. Next one over has a world entirely made of water. Check them out sometime if you ever get curious, what's mine is yours."

"A-amazing…" Aura whispered.

Archer rubbed her eyes. "Ko, why did you even bother making all these?"

I shrugged. "Got bored one day. Made 'em all. Still looking for the room that's full of small fluffy animals, figure Noa would love the place."

"And the room full of gold and jewels?" Archer raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

I smirked. Even if I had only learned the information today, I was still well within my rights to lord it over my mate. "Archer, I'm a Dragon the size of a small country. What do you expect me to do, bathe myself like a fucking cat? Fill the pond with soap? Tear off all the dirty scales?"

Archer's mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. "You're saying that the reason Dragons bathe in gold… is because it's like a giant rock polisher?"

"Well, that and it gives my scales a lovely gold dusting." I said drily. "And if ever I want to run a stealth mission, I just need to take a lead bath. Boom, instantly black. Stealth incarnate."

Aura giggled.

"I am not asking about that one." Archer said shortly, taking me by the hand and beginning to tug me away. "Aura, feel free to settle in. We'll be in the next room over if you need anything."

"All the rooms are fully soundproofed, so don't worry about disturbing us." I added brightly, smiling. "See you in a bit!"

Her quiet squeak boded well for the days of teasing to come.

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