48: Getting Over

I look for him every where and he's totally gone. I heard Jenie calling for my name, she's together with Jacko. I wipe away my tears before they catch me with this.

"Hey Ashti, let's tour around the Kingdom!" Jenie said.

"That will be fun! I swear! All of your worries will vanish," that's how Jacko recommended their homeland.

However, "No. I'm sorry. I just want to stay in my room for today," I said.

"Oh it's okay. We understand," Jacko replied; I can feel the disappointment and worries on their faces.

I came back to my room, alone again. I was thinking about that Xymon. He said that we're the same, and somehow I think he's saying the truth that my courage will be put to waste. I'm sitting on the bed; staring at the tree outside again across the window as I suffer from my depression. Someone knocked on the door and that's my father.

He entered without uttering a word. He stood in front of me, looked, and followed my gaze across the window. He opened the window and I was staring at a lie, I thought it's a sweet cherry blossom but it's a tons of pink butterflies resting on a balded tree. My father sat on the bed and talked to me.

"To be honest, I can't just sit, walking around your uncle's world if my daughter carries a burden. It bothers me. I know it's painful to lose someone important... or should I ask, is he really important to you?" he's smiling at me. But I didn't gave him an answer.

He laid his feet on the bed to sit beside me even without his shoes off. He rest his arm around my shoulder and we leaned on the pillow behind. "To tell you, you're here to be strong. You're here to change your life and bring things to their better place. You should look forward for things to its perfect form. You can save people unlike before.

Don't let the past scare you to grow. Learn from the past, but don't stay in the past. It's not easy, nevertheless, if you don't want the same thing to happen again then you can do something." My tears fell as he said those words. "I know it's not easy; it's not fast. But don't let it make you weak forever. Now, are there things that troubles you?"

I spake with a mild voice, "This man named Xymon... he told me earlier that... just like him... I can't be a worthy Queen. And I believe he's right, that- even if I regain the strength I wanted... he will never come back to life." I wipe my tears again.

"Xymon?" he asked.

"He said he's my uncle, the god of wickedness... I want him to talk to me more but I can't find him anywhere."

"I mentioned his name to you before when I told you the story of my journey, remember?" that was when I left the Kingdom without his permission together with Almidoron, then he scolded me. "He's my brother. He was born without gift... just like you. Everyone in our town persecutes him, saying that he don't deserve to be the heir.

In some events he gained the power he wanted. He became too powerful. Yet he used that gift for retaliation against his scoffers. And he boasted that to me in a very heinous way. He's not a certified god, but people in our nation addressed him like that because of his wickedness. He brought our nation to its horrible state.

The chaos was put to an end when I killed him. That's how I was bestowed as a god," he's caressing my hair. "Now remember this Ashti, you're not the same to him; unless you used that power for selfish intentions like he did. I can tell that he's haunting you. Like I said, I killed him. He's dead. You can't find him anywhere.

You will never become a worthless Queen if you don't recur the same mistake he did. Anyway! You're stressing yourself too much on becoming a Queen, you haven't met a prince to marry, right?!" he's making fun of me so I slap his stomach. And he laugh. "Just kidding! Make sure you introduce him to me!"

"I don't care about that for now," I said with a smile while wiping again my tears.

"Yes and I don't gave any permission yet to anyone to get your hand. Well then, just remember, more days to shine; more people to meet; and more birthdays to come." I gave a glance on him. He gave me a cupcake with three tiny candles lighted. "You think I forgot? Happy Birthday!" he made me smile for real for the first time today. So I finally turned seventeen!

I took the cake and made a wish without telling it to him. I blew the candles. He asked me what was my wish but I simply removed the candles and took a big bite. He pinch my cheek and I choked a little. He stood up beside the bed but before he leave, I have to tell him something very urgent!

"Father, the Callions plundered our nation. I broke the barrier for thinking that I could save Haris. But it made a worst consequences." I saw the anxiety from his facial response.

"I see. I'm pretty sure that our Kingdom will be safe but... not the other Kingdoms. Never mind, that is a duty is a higher supreme. I'll discuss about this to Holland. And you, stay positive and strong. That's my daughter. By the way, tomorrow is the beginning of your training. Your auntie will teach you first, then me."

Training? After he comforted me, that sounds exciting again! And he left the room. I was smiling the whole time he greeted me. He gave ease to my burden. I can't imagine my world without a father like him. I've finished eating the cupcake and grateful that my tears ceased dropping too. And again, my two cousins surprised me!

"Hey Ashti!!"

I found them beneath this bed. Then they sat here. "How long have you two-?"

"Not so long!" Jacko said.

"Just now. We just wanted to know your condition! And~ if we can't bring you to fun, then we'll just bring to you the fun! Tadah~" she shew me a whole deck of cards. They asked me to play a game, and it would be so aloof if I decline. This could also be a chance to know each other since we're family. So just like they wish for, we played the card game.

Honestly, it was fun! They're bragging me some tricks they learned from their father. We ate sweets and chips together and talking about our favorite stuffs. They asked me more things about the world outside and they're telling a story to me about their own culture too. Until night, we mingled together.

They took me here on the rooftop of their castle and I discovered that this castle is in the middle of a calmed lagoon. Their town is on the other side of the shore; the lights there are not just shining, it's colorful. So this is the place Haris was looking for. But I only got here alone. I saw a waterfalls coming from the sky.

"We found you on the bottom of that falls," Jenie said.

Then Jacko spake, "We often found people there with deeper bleak. Those who knock shall the door be opened-"

"Those who seek shall find," Jenie barged.

"And those who need shall receive!" they said together.

"Wait. Those words... I heard it from Goyal, the god of charity!" I said.

"Oh! I haven't heard about her."

"Maybe our father does know that god."

"You must be having a heavy tribulation right now. That's why we understand you."

"Feel free to tell us if you want!" I receive another comfort and sympathy. I'm so glad I found this place.

※ ※ ※ ORC ※ ※ ※

The next morning, the two lovely singers woke me again; the butterflies came back to the tree with those two on a branch. Someone knocked on the door, a woman with familiar voice. I opened it and I saw Ms. Tony.

"Ms. Tony!"

"Good morning Princess Ashti!" she's smiling back at me. She said that she'll be assisting me for my days here, on my hygiene, bath, and guide just like before. I asked her about the kid we took her before, and she said that he's reading most of the book and admired it all. I hope he's doing fine. He lost people important to him too.

She took me in the dining room. All the royals ate together for the morning meal. I do mind to join the conversation. This is just like a family reunion. The only missing is... my mother. I hope she's safe from the world outside.

After the meal and some free time to tour around the castle together with Ms. Tony, my auntie started a training with me inside the kitchen.

"I'll ask you something first, can you heal?"

I stammer, "Uhmm... I can but... not immediate."

"Hmm! Okay. I told you some clues on our gift yesterday so this day, you will perform it. Our gift is essential in peril situation so you need to be brisk and wise. First, you have to learn on healing yourself." She took a knife and made a deep slice on her arm. I was startled! And amazed! The wound she made regenerates in an instant!

"Learn to heal faster. Then if you can, no stabs can kill you." She stab herself and I scream and covered my mouth with surprise! When she pulled of the knife from her stomach, the deep sore healed swiftly even her clothe came back to normal!

"But someone told me that my gift only triggers through the certain emotion."

"There are some cases like that. Typically happens to the child of a god. Just like my kids. Sadness and anger nullifies their gift. That's why they're learned to cast out those emotions and stay buoyant."

"So I have to cast out my happiness because my gift chose wrath?"

"No. Learn to control it. Whenever they are dismal their power weakens but at some point they can still use it. If you're saying that your gift responds in anger, then you have greater advantage in battle." She place the knife on the table in front of us. She came closer and held both of my hands. I jolted from pain coming from my fists.

"You came here with swollen and bleeding fists. Now, heal it." She brought back my wound! How interesting! But then... whenever I focus on healing, Haris' death is popping up in my mind. I'm losing the concentration!

"I see doubts in you," she said and I stopped from trying. I feel irritated from pain! "I'll give you a very important tip for you to remember; believe. Believe that you can do it. Doubt your doubts before you doubt yourself. That is why I can stab myself, because I know I can heal it."

The fear from the failures before increases my doubts.

To realize my works, I've healed too many people too, not just one. But from the most important ones, failed. I try to predominate the messages of my father before then I proceeded on healing again. I tried to go somewhere amicable where I can take some air to give peace in my mind. I came beside the lake or everywhere in the garden and at the rooftop.

Still, until night, my wounds remained. This will not be easy! I look at the seal again; and when I do, I am motivated to give his death some sense. I fell asleep with the pain, and woke up with my hands cured. I received a glimpse of joy but... I have to heal fast! I don't have plans to brag this to auntie. Good thing today's training is together with my father.

Outside the castle—beside the steady sky blue waters of lagoon that luster—is my training ground using a sword. But not a sword fight. My father prepared a giant diamond and he gave me a pure granite sword made by him. I finally knew again the weight of a sword! This training is to strengthen my bash... that's what he said.

I have to make the diamond at least cut into two using this sword. My first single shot is considered as failure. My sword slipped off my hand not even making a tiny scratch on the diamond.

"Father, are you serious?!" he's watching me during my training.

"A battle never was a game, unless you became stronger than your opponents," he said while sitting on a branch of a tree. The sword came on its own to me then I gave another shot. I'm just glad that I was finally able to heal the fists before this training.