Remember You

I then headed back home and along the way I always remember all the shadows of your shadow when I did Time Leap. I don't know why I want to go to the places we used to go and spend together. Yes, I really miss meeting you and feeling together with you so I am not decided to go home but to reminisce about memories with you.

Then I went to the festival venue which is a large vacant lot where you and I were together while I was doing Time Leap living my past days for the second time. Yes, I am reminded of you in every corner where you and I play, buy all the snacks, get a teddy bear with a tie and take pictures together and get the bracelet you gave to your mother.

I don't know why suddenly my tears fell and dripped down my cheeks and also fell on the twinkling bracelet with stars around your gift. What I can't deny is that I was very surprised and confused for a moment with a flash of light that suddenly appeared when I was crying and my tears touched the twinkling stars on the bracelet.

"Oh, maybe it's just my feeling ." My mind speaks. "But somehow I always feel that you are always here, Jef". I suddenly remembered to go to the place where I used to watch fireworks with you at that time I felt very hard to step here. I just realized what you said to me first was your hunch that you would no longer be in this world with me, accompany me and spend the days together again.

Suddenly I almost fell because I tripped over a rock but a moment later I was able to stand up again before hitting the ground. "Strange" My mind spoke and looked to the right and left but there was no one, it's just that I always feel that Jefri is still here protecting me. Finally I continued my journey and came to a place where you gave a twinkling bracelet with a star decoration as your apology and your wish for me to always wear it when you are far away because you will always be by my side and with me even though you and I are no longer together like now .

Looking at the blazing sky together with the shimmering sunlight, not like back in Time Leap where I was with you when the fireworks were blooming and popping and you who always smiled when you saw me, your gaze that made me feel in love but all now is just a memory that disappears for a second time. Suddenly my tears fell again and were so heavy that I wanted to scream out your name but my throat and chest felt heavy like I couldn't say it. Just want you to know that I really miss you, I want to do it again with you, over and over again but everything seems to have faded along with the shadow of your departure which is getting more and more congested for me because I hold back my sadness in my tears.

"Jef, honestly I really miss you, I want to be with you here again, see fireworks, play with you, eat together, take pictures together, I want to do it again and again but why do you even leave me alone here. I've tried my best so that you and I are always together but why do you always go away and never come back to accompany me through everything now." I then covered my face and then wiped my tears and suddenly the bracelet Jefri gave me glowed again but briefly went out. I don't know why I feel very strange with this bracelet that Jefri gave me but then I feel that this is just a shadow of the sun shining brightly and hitting the bracelet.

I then got off from that place and then tried to visit other places that used to be when I was doing Time Leap I went through everything with Jefri. I then went to the Florist bookstore and along the way I remember everything when you held my little hand with your big hand, protected me with your body and beat people who followed me just to protect me. When I entered the Florist bookstore, "You are alone, Where is your friend who always with you." The book salesman asked me.

"Uh yeah just dropping by alone today." I just realized that I often went to this bookstore asking Jefri to take me before I started my Time Leap, before I received love from a Michael, and finally I rarely go to this bookstore anymore.

"Eh, sis, there's a guy who used to be with my brother some time ago who bought this novel, he said he left it for you, since then I've never seen that guy stop by here at the bookstore." The salesman said again.

I accepted the novel and started to shed tears. Yes, I still remember I once told Jefri that I ran out of the novel I was dreaming of because of the Limited Edition. Then Jefri told me to come to the Florist bookstore he would be waiting for me there but I never came because Michael forbade me to meet him until we broke up and I just remembered that I had an appointment at that time. The time when I wasted someone who always makes me happy and always pays attention to everything and fulfills whatever I want.

After the Florist bookstore I went to another place. Yes, one of the places I want to visit is the school. It was Sunday I then went straight to the classroom and found the classroom was locked. For some reason I saw your shadow sitting at the back of the class smiling at me and then I tried to open the door but when I looked back from the window of Jefri's classroom there was no shadow of him disappearing. Suddenly it felt like I was crying again and I wanted to go to a time where the same place as now is when I was at school when I was with you first.

I passed the music room as if I heard someone playing "River Flow In You" I then immediately rushed there and opened the music room door which was open there was a guy there sitting and playing music. It felt like suddenly I was very happy and then I patted him on the shoulder and called "Jefri…"

Suddenly the boy turned around and it turned out to be one of the juniors at the school who was indeed a member of the music extracurricular which was every Sunday. And then the friends of the juniors came in and said "Sorry I'm late, Ndrew." and I then turned to them and turned to the guy I called Jefri and then I said "I'm sorry, I thought you ..." Before I could finish my words I ran to the three of them who had just entered and they all just stared at me who was behaving like that.

A male voice who just entered said to his friend "Isn't that Sis Fania, she's a senior at school who has graduated, what are you doing here?"

"He just said Jefri." The piano boy said

"Jefri, the head of the motorcycle gang, didn't he died a few days ago why did he call you that." said another.

For some reason I don't hear their voices anymore because I have walked very far and through the quiet corridor along the building to the roof of the old school where you and I always spend time together looking at the view and the vastness of the city from there, watching the sun shine and of course watching you give food for your pet stray cats that are in this school.

The stray cats suddenly came and it was usually me who was scared of them and Jefri who was always trying to keep the stray cats from approaching me so that I could be comfortable on the school roof. Now I let the stray cats approach me and meow at my feet. I feel very sad now, suddenly my body feels stiff while looking at the vast city view, the shimmering sun and the moving clouds in the sky and then I feel the wind blowing against me is quite strong but feels very cool. I suddenly felt that Jefri was here accompanying me, making sure I was okay, trying to make me comfortable and protected from what I was afraid of in the past.

I then headed to the back of the school here I felt the fresh air "Is this the reason you are always here to breathe fresh air or is it waiting for me every day before I know your true feelings in the past before I live my past a second time with Time Leap." My mind speaks. I felt the wind blowing and making my hair flutter and then I took the mirror in my bag using the hair clip you gave me while looking at the stars. I don't know why I feel you standing next to me but when I turn I don't see you but I can feel that you are accompanying me right now and watching my whereabouts. I still remember being here when I saw you standing and smiling at me when I turned down Michael. I can feel how you felt before I did Time Leap waiting for me standing up and I'm doing it now standing in memory of you, wishing you were always by my side, smiling at me, petting my head, irritating me and holding my little hand with your hand that always makes me feel comfortable and protected but all in all Now it's just a memory between you and me.

I raised my head to the sky where the sun was now covered by white clouds moving in the blue sky. If all yesterday's events hadn't happened, your sad death didn't exist, maybe I can now see your smile, you accompany me and make fun of me with your annoying words but always make me comfortable with everything you do to me. You who always worry about me even though you know I already belong to someone else but you always take better care of me than Michael. You really mean a lot to me. Honestly, I feel like I'm missing you after you left. I just realized that something is missing and what's missing is someone who turned out to be special for me. That's you, Jefri.

If I could reach the day when I was with you, I wanted to prevent all this sadness because of your death but for the second time you still left me alone. However I prevent you stubborn you will definitely not listen to me because of your sense of desire to make other people happy not to lose loved ones like you who regret and blame yourself for the death of your only sister.

I then walked towards the basketball court, Yes this place is the place where I met you the first time when I passed Time Leap to meet you the second time. The place where you shouted at me, the place where I saw you smile at me, the place where you mocked me for my shortness and also the place where I first saw you expressed your displeasure when Michael came to me.

I also remember when you played basketball here beating Michael, I remember how you tried not to lose the bet and promised me that I wouldn't bother Michael again. I still remember all how you played basketball with me during school holidays and Sundays, I remember how we grabbed each other's balls, ran after each other, threw the ball into the hoop, and of course I remember how it was when you came for the first time in Time Leap and when you shoot that ball from the middle of the field and wow your friends because you owe me a promise to beat Michael so you don't bother anymore.

On the basketball court there was a basketball, I finally picked it up and played alone. Dribble ball, throw in the hoop and suddenly I just want to cry. I stopped my game and cried. "I miss Jef, I miss you so much, I want to see you again, play with you, talk to you, see you again, see your smile, see your face, see the back that is always in front of me to protect me, I want you to hold my hand again, I want you say all your feelings to me again but not for the last and end, I want you to say it again when you and I are together and we go through everything together, but why did you leave me again." My mind speaks.

I cried while sitting up and then my tears accidentally dripped on the bracelet and saw the light shining and then dimming again. I hastily wiped my tears and the light no longer appeared. I then thought while wiping my tears "Maybe it's just my feelings." I said and then I stood up and left the basketball court. Going past the old school building and looking at the roof of the building from below is like I saw when I was with you screaming together when I was annoyed with Michael who betrayed me.

You could say this is the place I spend the most time with you, namely school. Then I passed the three-story building and the building where the music room was located. I stopped for a moment and it was like you were behind the window staring at me on the third floor. But when I rubbed my eyes there were only curtains blowing in the wind moving on the roof of the third floor. I saw the children that I had seen in the music room coming down the stairs and then saw me.

"Sister, why is it not here that you have graduated?." asked one of the boys.

I just smiled and said "Just want to see the school really miss." I replied with a smile and then I left the children who were still silent in their original place. Then I passed behind the school and the wind was still breezy following me and the trees were moving their leaves and falling from above and then I was out of the place where my Time Leap memories were and headed for real old memories of school.