Restless Night

Jane stood at that same spot for a while before heading back to the house.

"So how did it go?" Her father asked. "What did he say."

"Uhm dad, everything is okay. We'll...I mean, I've fixed everything." 

"But why is that still on your hand?" Her grandma asked looking a bit angry.

"Uhm, sorry." She said and tore it off.

"Grandma, dad, I think you both should go rest now."

"We will." Her dad said. "But you can go ahead."

"Okay. Good night dad." She said as she kissed his cheeks and her grandma's and hugged her. "Don't worry too much, everything is fine okay." She pulled away from the hug and her grandma's face returned back to normal.

"Yes." She said smiling. 

Jane ascended the stairs then to her room. The moment she shut the door, she rested her body to it for a while and sighed. She thought about what she had said to Francis earlier. 'How did I get the courage to speak to him like that? Where did I get those silly ideas from? What did I just do? ' She asked herself as she was at war with herself. 

She slowly walked up to her bed and layed on it with her face dug on the pillow.

"Ah....I fell like screaming." She screamed in frustration. 'What did I just do? What did I say? When did those word left my lips? When did I thought of that?' She asked herself again. "A one-sided love uhn." She said and laughed bitterly at herself. "Oh goodness. What have I done? Stupid me." She said almost breaking down. A one-sided love? From a guy that rejected her friend? Her beautiful friend.

She got up and walked to her seat and sat on it. Her elbow on the table and her hands on her head. "What did I do?" She cried out loud.

There was another minutes of silence after. She shut her eyes, inhaled and exhaled and opened them back with her eyes now looking fearless. "I need to stand for myself. I'll do this. Even if he doesn't love me back in return, I'll do all I can because I'm sure what I'm feeling inside is love. I just want to experience this before I die. My time is running up real quick now." She let out sigh as those last words escaped her lips. "I can do this. I will have to do this. It's him or no one. It's now or never."

She smiled at herself like she just caught a big fish. She walked back to her bed and sat down for a while before standing up and walking back and forth in the room. She was restless as lots of things were going on and on in her mind. 'Why will coming to a ball party be a part of my test? I don't get. What is he planning to do? Disgrace me to the world? Humiliate me? Make me feel ashamed? Because I made the first move? Because a girl like me had the guts to say that?' She has seen a lot of movies and seen many situations like that especially during her time in school. How the handsome boys will act like they accepted the girl's proposal, especially the ugly ones, and then humiliate them in public. In front of their friends and the rest people present there. 

"Stupid, stupid, stupid me." She cursed herself hitting her forehead with her palm.

A part of her was telling her to go and another part of her was telling her to reject his invitation. She did wanted to pursue her plans of her being his girlfriend but she was too scared to attend the ball party.

She halted and sighed. "Calm down girl, calm down. Everything will be fine. I'm sure he's not like the other guys. He wouldn't do such a thing." Almost immediately she started panicking again. "But what if he's like them? Is he really planning on doing such thing to me? Because I approached him? No, no, no, no, no." She said as she shook her head in disagreement with her thought. "He won't do such a thing. Calm down, calm down. Be calm. He's not going to do such a thing."

She walked down to her bed, and sat on it, leaning her back against the wall as she tried to calm herself down.

The image of him played in her head. How his handsome face appeared before her at the door, how he stared down at her, his voice and how he smiled at her for the first time. She recalled how she saw him at the party.

"I'm going to do this." She said in a whisper with her eyes shut. "It's now or never. I will do this. I can do this. I'm not afraid." She told herself confidently.

She tucked herself in the duvet forcing herself to sleep.