56. Chapter 56

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"Mommy," Kate begged, squeezing her mother's hand tightly with one tiny hand and stroking her cheek with the other, "Daddy's comin', okay?"

Erin nodded feebly, blinking as the pain in her pelvis intensified again. Tears steadily dripped down her cheeks as she was comforted by her four-year-old, whose maturity in the current situation astounded her. "Thank you, baby," she whispered, giving her child a weak squeeze.

"Should I call Uncle Will? Or Grandpa Hank?" Kate looked nervously at her mother's pained expression, "I-I don't like seeing you hurt."

"I know," Erin managed, "Daddy should be here soon though."

As if on cue, a winded and freezing Jay burst into the apartment, causing Kate to nearly jump out of her skin. She instantly relaxed when she realized who it was. Before Jay could even open his mouth, the little girl stood and raced toward him to bring him to Erin. "Daddy, Mommy needs help!" She called, appearing close to tears but somehow holding it together, "S-she's hurtin' and she's bleedin'."

"Okay, okay," Jay said breathlessly. Without taking his coat off, he hurried across the living room and sank to his knees beside his fiancé, "What's happening, babe?"

He cupped her flushed cheeks with his freezing hands, gently wiping the tears that continued to stream down her cheeks. "H-hurts," she choked out, overwhelmingly thankful that her partner is arrived, "M-my stomach."

"She's bleedin'," Kate repeated, kneeling beside Erin's head. She gestured to her mother's snowflake pajama bottoms that were red with blood.

He glanced down at her lap and winced. "Oh, babe," Jay kissed her forehead, "We've gotta get you to the hospital, okay?"

She nodded, in too much pain to fight the prospect of the hospital, "C-c-call Nat."

"I will," Jay nodded, "Let's get you to the car, alright?" He glanced around the room in search of his daughter, "Kate? Where'd you go kiddo, we gotta get Mommy to the hospital."

"I got Mommy's coat," Kate replied. She stood by the door, already wearing her boots and winter jacket, "We goin' right now?"

"Good girl," Jay praised, "Yep, we're going right now. Can you get Mommy's phone and wallet from the kitchen counter, please?"

"I got them a-ready," Kate reached into the pockets of her mother's coat to reveal her house keys, wallet and phone. "Wha'bout a change of clothes?" she asked while Jay gently maneuvered Erin so that she could stand, "For Mommy?"

"Great idea kiddo," he said proudly, "Can you go grab some clothes for Mommy while we get ready to go?"

"Uh-huh," Kate nodded and handed her father the coat before dashing to their bedroom.

"She's incredible," Erin stammered as she cautiously got to her feet, still wincing at the ache in her stomach, "Blows my mind."

Jay gave a small smile as he helped her with the heavy winter coat, "Let's get you to Med, alright?" He turned toward the bedroom just as Kate exited, holding a reusable shopping bag, "Great job, Squirt."

"We call Uncle Will now?" Kate looked up at her parents expectantly, noticing how her mother's face still contorted in pain. She caught her father's gaze, "Mommy's hurting."

"I know, and we're going to call him as soon as we get in the car," Jay said, leading Erin out of the apartment. She walked slowly and gingerly, but was able to remain upright, "I'm going to have you sit in the back with Kate, okay babe?"

Erin managed a nod as they stepped into the elevator after Kate, whose eyes remained nervously trained on her parent's every move. She climbed into her car seat while Jay helped Erin get settled beside her. Erin let out a breath of relief as she sat, closing her eyes and resting against the headrest. "You gotta stay 'wake," Kate instructed, taking Erin's freezing fingers in her own, "When you been bleedin', you gotta stay ah-wake."

"I'm awake, baby," Erin assured her, running her thumb over Kate's hand, "And you're right. How did you know that?"

She shrugged, "One time Mr. P hurt one of the ladies real bad. And I watched the odder ladies keep her talkin' til they could get her to an amb-lance cause the odder-time they let them just sleep and den they didn't wake up." Kate squeezed Erin's hand, "But you 'wake. But I'm still worried."

"Everything's going to be okay," Jay swallowed thickly and glanced in the rearview mirror to check on his girls, "Kiddo, do you think you could give Uncle Will a call? I don't want to do it while I'm driving."

"Like we practice?" Kate asked, reaching into Erin's pocket to extract the cell phone while her mother grimaced in pain.

"Yep," Jay nodded, continuing to speed to the hospital with the lights on the Sierra flashing, "Er?"

"Mm?" She cracked an eye open, pain written all over her face.

"How bad?" He asked, growing increasingly concerned when she didn't reply. A soft groan escaped her lips. "We'll be there soon."

"Uncle Will, it's not Daddy, it's Kate," the little girl said quickly, "H-he's drivin' to the hos-piddle right now 'cause Mommy is hurting really bad. And bleedin'." Erin hissed in pain again, "Daddy, Uncle Will says he and Dr. Manning are gonna wait for us."

"Perfect," Jay said, taking a sharp right, "Two minutes babe, we're almost there."

Jay peeled into the emergency entrance and leapt out of the driver's seat. Erin remained seated uncomfortably in the back beside Kate, her face pale and features screwed in anguish. "We're here, babe," Jay breathed, cupping her cheek with his palm, Kate struggling to undo the clasps on her car seat with her tiny hands, "Just a sec, Squirt, okay?"

"I got her, Jay," Natalie Manning pulled open Kate's door and assisted the little girl with the clips, "Hey there, Monkey, I heard you called Will for help, huh?"

"Mommy hurts and is bleedin'," Kate explained as Dr. Manning hoisted her out of the car and onto the ground. She held the bag of Erin's spare clothes closely, "You gotta help."

"We're going to do everything we can. What's going on, Erin?" Dr. Manning asked as Jay lifted her out of the car and cradled her against his chest, "How bad's the pain?"

"Bad," Erin gritted out, struggling to not squeeze her eyes shut again, "Bad."

"We're going to get that taken care of right away," Dr. Manning promised, taking Kate's hand and leading her into the ED, Jay at the rear with Erin still in his arms, "Let's get you in a bay and see what's going on, alright?"

"Erin!" Will exclaimed, hustling across the busy ED to his brother and almost sister-in-law. He turned to Dr. Manning, "Have we gotten bloodwork yet?"

She shook her head, "Just got here. Let's get a blood panel and some painkillers for Erin here, sound good?" Natalie grabbed the IV cable from a nurse and began to hang the bag.

"N-no painkillers," Erin managed, reaching for the young woman's arm, "I c-can't."

"Babe, you're in pain," Jay tried to argue as he attempted to take her winter coat off. "You're in agony and the meds could help with that."

Erin shook her head adamantly, "No. No-painkillers."

"Okay, that's fine," Natalie reasoned, "Let's get your coat off and get an IV started, and then we're going to run some tests, alright?"

The detectives nodded mutely. Jay helped his partner remove her winter coat and perched on the chair beside her. He could tell that she was in a great deal of pain, but it was just like her to refuse the pain medication. Given her history, he understood where she was coming from, but he hated seeing his girl suffering. "Where's your kid, Jay?" Will asked, glancing at his brother worriedly, "She was the one who called me."

"I'm here," Kate whispered, standing behind her father as he sat rigidly by Erin's bedside. She was still clutching the grocery bag and wearing her winter coat.

"You did a great job today, Monkey," Will praised, squatting down in front of the little girl to meet her eyes, "Your folks and I are very proud of you."

"Is-is Mommy gonna be okay?" Kate asked quietly, glancing worriedly at her mother who laid in the hospital bed in obvious discomfort. Her father also appeared quite shaken up after the whole ordeal, and remained in his winter coat as he ran his thumb over Erin's hand.

Will nodded and held out a hand to the little girl, "What about if you and I took a trip to the cafeteria, hm?"

Kate shook her head, "But I wanna stay with Mommy."

Jay turned to face his little girl, "I know you do sweetheart, but we might be here for a bit. And you did such a good job taking care of her and I am so proud of you. Maybe you and Uncle Will could go get us something for dinner from the cafeteria? I know you don't want to leave, but this would be a big help."

He nodded slightly to his brother, knowing full well why his little girl didn't want to leave their side, but also understanding that she was quite possibly the most caring and intuitive little person on the planet, and would never pass up an opportunity to help her mother. "Okay," Kate nodded slowly, setting the bag down beside her father, "You-you stayin' with Mommy though, right?"

"Absolutely," Jay kissed the top of Kate's head, still holding Erin's cold hand in his, "I love you so much, kiddo. And we're so proud of you."

"I love you baby," Erin whispered, cracking an eye open as she lay uneasily on the hospital bed, "Thank you for being such a good girl."

"Love you too," Kate murmured, leaning into Jay's embrace.

"How's the pain, Erin?" Will asked, re-entering the ED bay holding Kate's hand and a plastic bag of take-out containers. She was curled up on her side, one arm banded around her belly, the other clutching Jay's hand. He was stroking her cheek gently with his free hand, trying to bring about some semblance of relief to his stubborn fiancé who continually refused pain medication.

A moan answered his question. "It's bad," Jay supplied, running his thumb over her cheek to wipe a stray tear, "Any news?"

Will shook his head, "Nope, not yet. But Kate and I got some pancakes from the cafeteria, and we were going to head to the doctor's lounge to read a book." He glanced down at the little girl, who was just staring at her mother nervously. "Don't worry Monkey, your mom is going to be alright."

"She's still hurtin'," Kate whispered, tugging slightly on Will's hand, "How come Mommy still hurtin' so bad?"

"She's going to be okay," Jay tried to reassure his daughter as well as himself, "Dr. Manning is running a few tests, and we'll know more in a little bit. But it might be a while, so it would be good if you and Uncle Will could get out of here for a little bit." Will nodded at his brother's statement, eyes trained on the pained position Erin was folded in.

"I-I-I don't wanna leave her again." Tears that had been threatening to fall for hours finally sprung to Kate's eyes and cascaded down her cheeks as she looked up at her father, "I wanna stay here."

"I know kiddo," Jay replied lamely, removing his hand from Erin's cheek to extend to his daughter, "But I'm sure you'll have a better time with Will reading stories instead of sitting here."

Kate shook her head again, rooted in her spot standing at the end of Erin's bed. "I don't want nothin' to happen to Mommy if I leave."

Jay felt his heart clench. "She's going to be okay," he repeated, giving Erin's hand a light squeeze. "How about you sit with me for a bit, does that sound good?"

The little girl nodded and accepted a boost into her father's lap, where she instantly melted against him. "You've been so brave today." Jay pressed a kiss on top of his daughter's head, "And I can't tell you enough how proud I am of you."

"We're so proud of you, baby," Erin piped up, forcing her eyes open amidst the pain in her stomach. Over the past hour at the ED, it has digressed from a constant sharp stabbing to a painful ache with periodic bursts of agony. A thin sheen of sweat lined her forehead and her eyes were red with tears, but she felt lucid for the first time in the past two hours. "You were amazing back at home."

"I don't want you to hurt no more," Kate said, her voice muffled into Jay's chest, "I don't like it when you're hurt."

"I'm going to be okay," she managed, unwinding the arm that was banded around her midsection to touch her daughter's knee, "Because of you."

"Do you want me to call Voight?" Will asked quietly, placing the cold pancakes on the waiting chair next to Jay.

"I-I don't want him to worry," Erin whimpered, squeezing her eyes shut as a wave of pain blurred her vision, "He'll just worry."

"I know, but he could bring Kate home while we wait to hear from Nat," Jay said gently, resuming running his thumb over her hand, "It's getting late."

"I wanna stay with you!" Kate rushed out, tears making a reappearance on her cheeks, "I wanna stay here."

"I'll call him," Will decided, stepping out of the room and leaving the family in the ED bay.

"I don't wanna go," Kate cried, "I wanna stay."

"Shh, kiddo," Jay rubbed her back with one hand, silently willing the little girl to stop crying, knowing that it was undoubtedly upsetting Erin even further, "It's okay."

Kate's tears subsided, but she remained clamped to Jay's chest as he attempted to comfort his fiancé, who continued to writhe with pain intermittently. He felt like a complete failure with both his girls upset, made worse by the fact that he had no idea how to make everything better.

Hank arrived twenty minutes later. Erin was still in an incredible amount of discomfort, and it broke his heart to see his daughter laying in the hospital bed. Jay sat beside her with Kate in his lap, trying to bring comfort to both of his girls. "Hey kid," Hank said thickly, taking a step into the ED bay, "How's she doing?"

"Not great," Jay replied, once again removing his hand from Erin's cheek but continuing to hold her other one, "But, um, we should know something soon."

"Hey Hank," Erin managed, turning her head slightly so she could see her father figure. His normally gruff demeanor looked rattled and sympathetic, forcing more tears to spring to her already-swollen eyes, "Thanks for coming."

"Anything for you, kiddo," Hank replied gently, taking another step toward the hospital bed, "Can I get you anything?

Erin shook her head slightly and closed her eyes as another wave of pain descended. "No pain meds," Jay whispered, gesturing slightly toward his hurting girl, "But hopefully we'll get some answers soon."

Hank nodded, understanding his daughter's decision. "You want me to take Kate home? I'm not sure how long you two are going to be here."

Jay nodded, kissing the top of Kate's head. He could tell that she was still awake, judging by the continued shudders that vibrated her tiny frame as she clung to her father. "Hey Squirt? Grandpa Hank's here."

The little girl lifted her head off of Jay's shoulder and turned to face her grandfather, "Hi Grandpa Hank," she mumbled, running a hand across her nose, "Mommy's hurtin'."

"I know," Hank took a step toward the bed and placed a comforting hand on Erin's blanketed skin, "But I was thinking that since your mom isn't feeling too well, you and I could go back home and-"

"I wanna stay with Mommy," Kate interrupted in protest, glancing over at her mother, "I-I don't wanna leave her."

"I know kiddo, but I think it would make her feel a whole lot better if you were at home," Hank said honestly, "And I think it would make your dad feel better too. And I'm sure when they come home, they'll come say good night."

"Please Squirt?" Jay pressed his nose into her soft hair, "I know it's been a tough day. But Grandpa Hank's right, Mommy and I would much rather have you sleeping at home than be stuck here, okay? And we'll be home soon, I promise."

It took a moment, but Kate nodded. She reached a tiny hand out and gently stroked her mother's shoulder. Erin opened her eyes at the contact and managed a meager smile. "I love you so much, baby," she choked out, willing herself not to burst into tears, "I'm so proud of you."

"I love you more," Kate whispered back as her father gave her a gentle hug good bye, "I packed Tiger for you." She climbed off Jay's lap and reached into the grocery bag, producing Tiger. "I thought he might make you feel better."

"Thank you, sweetheart," Erin managed, unable to keep the pain out of her voice, "I'll see you in a few hours, okay?"

A few minutes after Hank left with Kate, Natalie Manning returned to the ED bay, bearing Erin's chart. Jay was running a hand through Erin's snarled hair, the other resting on her aching belly. The pain had transitioned to a prolonged and painful ache, but the brutal onslaughts of pain had taken a backseat. "Hi," Natalie started, "How's the pain?"

"Less," Erin mumbled, turning her head from facing Jay so that she could see the doctor, "What's wrong?"

The young doctor took a step closer to the bed, "It appears that you experienced a miscarriage, Erin. You were about six weeks pregnant, and it isn't uncommon for a loss to occur in the first trimester."

Dr. Manning's words washed over the couple. Miscarriage. Pregnant. Loss.

Erin shook her head, "No, I can't get pregnant."

"I'm sorry, I really wish I had better news for you. But you were pregnant Erin."

"No!" Erin shook her head again, "They-they said that I couldn't…I can't conceive. And-and I didn't even know…"

Natalie smiled wistfully. "The blood tests confirmed that you were pregnant, and the pain you've been experiencing is indicative that there wasn't anything we could have done to prevent this."

Jay gave Erin's a gentle squeeze, "Babe?"

Erin shook her head, tears sluicing off her cheeks, "I-I-I lost it?" Her voice quivered, realization setting in, "The-the baby?"

"I'm so sorry," Natalie looked close to tears herself, "And I know you thought that you were unable to conceive. But this means that you do have a chance at carrying a child to term. Erin, many women suffer miscarriages and go on to have healthy babies. There is no reason to think that you can't try again, given that you do have the ability to conceive." She offered another smile, "While this isn't good news, there is a bright side. You are able to bear children."

Tears streamed down Erin's cheeks, the pain in her pelvis now taking residence in her chest, "I'm sorry," she wept, pulling her hand from Jay's grasp to cover her face, "I'm so sorry."

"This is not your fault, Er," Jay brought her close to him, cradling her head against his chest.

"There was nothing anyone could have done," Natalie informed her, placing a tender hand on Erin's foot, "Sometimes, these things just happen and nobody could have prevented this. But you are able to try again, when you feel ready…"

Erin shook her head for what seemed like the millionth time, "No, no, no, I'm not." She burst into tears, "I'm not ready."

"What you're experiencing is perfectly normal," she reassured the distraught detective, "If you like, I can give you the contact information of a therapist who might be able to help." Natalie offered another sad smile, catching Jay's eye as he smoothed his hands over Erin's sweaty hair, her body exhausted from the pain of the evening.

"Thanks Nat," he murmured, pressing a kiss on Erin's forehead as she struggled to control her breathing. A groan escaped her lips and she clutched her stomach.

"I know this is a lot, and I am so sorry for what you've been going through. I can give you some pain medication-"

"No," Erin interrupted, "T-thanks Nat, but I-I just can't. I-I just want to go home. When can I go home?"

"Alright," Natalie nodded, "I'd like to wait a few hours before discharging you, to ensure that nothing changes and so we can monitor your pain levels."

Erin nodded, running a hand underneath her nose as she sniffed, "I want to go home."

"Soon, babe," Jay promised, threading his fingers through her hair, "Soon. Just a few minutes until you're in less pain, alright?"

She nodded shakily and curled into herself, resuming the position she had taken up earlier. "I'll be back to check on you a little later," Natalie said, pausing at the door, "And I'm here if you want to talk."